Family feud over giving me away!

Well I am sorry to hear about your grandma but again, not sure how that relates to your wedding day... If the first anniversary of that is approaching though, then I really do think you should leave the who is going to walk you down the aisle thing until that has gone because your mum is no doubt going to be very emotional and doesn't need this adding to that as well. Apologies if that is harsh but I'm saying it for your mum's sake now.

With regards to her walking you down the aisle though, she can still play hostess. She can wait at the door and greet everyone as they arrive and then walk you down the aisle and take her seat once she has done that. But, we've all given our advice and now it's down to you what you take on board and how you progress from here.

Good luck and I hope it all goes ok.

No one is saying you don't have the right to ask him to walk you down the aisle, just that perhaps your cousin felt she had the right first and that perhaps it might be something to consider when thinking about why she is upset. As for being adopted and feeling left out of your family, i think a lot of adopted people feel that way. I have a step-father and two half sisters and often feel left out so to some extent do know a little bit of how you're feeling. But at the same time, this really is just a little thing in the grand scheme of things.

I think RaeF said you could pop a note in a christmas card. It seems like a good idea to me, no pressure on her to reply then either.

Just remember your wedding is a long time away. This is just a little thing, in the big plans. Its about you and your OH.

And for what its worth, i did NOT call you a bridezilla. I said you are in danger of turning INTO a bridezilla if you are going to have the attitude all the time that you are right and the others are all wrong.

Thankyou I will leave it because i know we will all be emotional.

I appreciate everyones advice, as harsh as it may have come across and how I may have taken it. Sometimes I need people to be blunt with me but ive never had anyone be quite as blunt as on here and its upset me a little and that is why ive come across as defensive.

I am sat at my work desk writing a letter now, i would have never have thought of that so I am taking your advice and putting it into action.

Thank you for your good luck wishes

PS i didnt know what bridezilla meant so that is why i was like what?? Looking back yeah I can see i may be coming across as difficult, just gotta bite the bullet and try and attempt to put things right.

I've only read your original post and nothing else but I think...........................

your cousins being a silly b!tch.

She should be as honoured as your Uncle is....you chose her daddy to walk you down the aisle. I dont see what her problem is, if somone wanted my father or brother to do that for them id be chuffed.

Your uncle should set his little princess straight and tell her hes doing it and thats that!

Personally I think that if its what you, OH and your uncle want then thats all that matters. We spend too much time when wedding planning thinking about how our plans will affect other people and often change what we want to suit other people.

I can understand why your cousin is upset but as you haven't spoken for a year then I don't see why she should expect to be consulted before you made your decision. I do hope she can act like an adult, respond to your note and talk it through with you though.

Ok, I have "skimmed" through some of the responses to your post and I do think that some very good advice has been given and some things have gotten a little "heated" for lack of a better word.

Of course your uncle is going to be honoured with you asking him to give you away, especially being that close and yes, maybe you should have mentioned this to your cousin first but obviously excitement has gotten in the way and that is understandable, I wouldn't of thought at that very moment to speak to my cousin first if I was in that situation!.

Since things have gotten a little heated between you all maybe it is best to leave it for a few weeks and then go over and speak to everyone involved and explain your reasons, you are all adult and can sort this out amicably, if your cousin is throwing her toys out of the pram maybe it's because she doesn't understand your reasons or maybe she is just acting like a spoilt brat but at the end of the day, we all want our dads to walk us down the aisle first.

I don't see why you can't go ahead and book your venue now, you have 2 1/2 yrs and getting things booked and out of the way means you can get things paid off but be warned, you will be fed up WP'ing as the time gets closer!, I sortd everything out last year for Aug 2010 and now I can't be bothered doing anything else.

HTH