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*Mini*
Beginner January 2012

FAO Footlong- AJ you wont like this so proceed with caution.

*Mini*, 26 October, 2011 at 19:54

Posted on Off Topic Posts 46

Thought you may like this if you have not seen it already; Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a Bible-believing “agony aunt” who gives life and relationship advice. Citing the Bible, Dr. Laura has repeatedly said that gays are “mistakes of nature.” In response to this, somebody wrote a satirical open letter...

Thought you may like this if you have not seen it already;

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a Bible-believing “agony aunt” who gives life and relationship advice. Citing the Bible, Dr. Laura has repeatedly said that gays are “mistakes of nature.” In response to this, somebody wrote a satirical open letter to Dr. Laura (read the whole story on Snopes).

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

46 replies

  • madscientist
    Beginner August 2012
    madscientist ·
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    Steady on, or my OH will be after you! ?

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  • llandudnolover
    Beginner
    llandudnolover ·
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    WSS. Please don't think all Christians hold these views. Christianity should be about demonstrating Christs love to others and that is the top and bottom of it.

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    I certainly don't Smiley smile

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  • knitting_vixen
    Beginner September 2011
    knitting_vixen ·
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    I was at a wedding where the vicar made a big hoo-ha about the fact that the bride promised to "obey". I was not impressed.

    I don't believe in God for various reasons, and I think most Christians are harmless and treat others with respect, funnily enough, I find my husband's Catholic family a lot more flexible with their beliefs than my family's CofE ones... but I can't reconicle myself with some of the things they believe. When challenged they simply say, "I know it to be true and correct because it says so in the Bible."

    Well I think the Bible is a work of fiction so such an argument has no truck with me.

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  • Panjita
    Beginner May 2011
    Panjita ·
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    This is what my SD says. She also thinks guitars and books can be possessed by demons.

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  • Helenia
    Beginner September 2011
    Helenia ·
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    That argument irritates me just as much!

    I don't think the Bible is a work of fiction. What I DO think is that it is a collection of historical documents written by multiple authors over a long period of time. On top of that, the books of the modern NT were selected by the church elders and there is a significant chunk of stuff, both Gospels and Letters, which has been hidden because it didn't fit with the doctrine they wanted to teach at the time. So I consider it as many different people's interpretation of a series of events, within which the truth lies somewhere, rather than absolute literal truth.

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  • knitting_vixen
    Beginner September 2011
    knitting_vixen ·
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    Being "historical" or written by "multiple authors" does not make it fact... as you say yourself, the NT was selectively published.

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  • Helenia
    Beginner September 2011
    Helenia ·
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    That's absolutely my point. It's because of those things that I can't accept it as literal truth without studying it and thinking about it. And admittedly I haven't done enough of either of those to be able to make a rock-solid theological case for my beliefs (I doubt such a thing exists, tbh).

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  • cookiekat
    Beginner August 2012
    cookiekat ·
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    Why do they make everyone sing all those boring songs if woman are meant to remain silent....?

    I strongly dislike ALL religion and firmly believe it is the cause of most of the wars and suffering in the world.

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