FAO FTLOMB and AC and everyone else really - gift list related.

I dont think its wrong to do both, i didnt want to do a gift list but added pressure saw to that from traditonalists. Do what you think is right for you and remember its your day

As you know, I've been thinking about this as well recently. I can't think of a way to word it without feeling completely greedy.

In the end we've gone with just one.

I have zero problem with gift lists. As far as I'm concerned, have as many as you like! My grumpiness comes from the fact that I don't like it when the details are included in the invitations!

With no mention of gifts/money in ours, we received the odd email asking what we'd like. I understand my mother had similar queries, and suggested cash gifts to people.

Assuming you are going to put the infirmation in invitations, I can see how making a second option looks a bit mercenary. I'm disappointed with a first ask, let alone if there was a second gift request (in case I didn't like the first one).

I think you'd find that most people would fulfil your request for cash. You are always going to get presents - some off list, some beautiful and useful, some less so - no matter what you do. I would never buy anyone towels for a wedding gift, even if it was they wanted most in the world! I think there's too much emphasis on making sure that you get what you want and the whole concept of asking for gifts, and sometimes the tone of the posts here (not yours) are slightly surreal to me.

I'd do the honeymoon request as you see fit, then have your JL gift list ready in case anyone makes an enquiry about gifts other than cash.

Do you know what? Neither would I ?.

The reality is it is socially acceptable to include gift-lifts in the wedding invites.

I was really uncomfortable with the concept of it, as I had been brought up never asking for anything - I was the kid that never did a Christmas list - it just wasn't how we were brought up, to ask for stuff.

However, on talking to people it just seemed socially acceptable, and almost more work if you then need to make contact with the inviter to find out what they want. Also, I had this feeling that by not including a gift-list, it was almost like saying "yeah I want cash", so the same thing, but worse.

Somebody like my lovely mum would not be comfortable giving cash to somebody who asked for it, but is much happier contributing towards a honeymoon, as she knows what it is being used towards (even if it isn't) and somehow makes it a little less cold.

I know that may differ to many people's opinions on here, but I think it is socially acceptable to have a gift list in an invite, so KB I would go with both.

In Chinese weddings, cash is standard, gift lists are like...what? So I have an easy way out at the time!

My other thought was having a John Lewis gift list...would you necessarily want all your stuff from there? Personally I don't want a £6 spaghetti ladle if I can buy it for £1 down the poundland, but maybe that's just me. I kind of feel it's a waste of guest's money. I think if you asked for honeymoon money, no one will say no, so I'd have just one request for the trailfinders thing.

I agree with FTLOMB... and I'm definitely in the camp of not including gift list information in wedding invitations - you wouldn't do it for birthday parties or anything like that so why should you suggest gift ideas to people without them having asked for a wedding? OH refuses to even register for a giftlist anywhere - now I am not as extreme as that but will respect his wishes and let people buy us what they want, if they want to buy anything!

I think that having two lists included in invitations might seem a bit mercenary, but I can see why you would want to have the two separate options as some older people just won't want to give money (my parents were like this at my cousin's wedding). You could just put nothing, or you could put "Please contact Mummy Kirstabubble for information about gifts," and she can give people the option?