So we have just started sending out our save the dates for next year - everything going well - I seem ok with planning (never thought I would be able to) and then a close friend in one minute makes me feel guilty, upset and hurt - had me close to tears in work today!
We are having quite a large wedding 120-130 people but given our family guests come close to 40 on their own we made the decision with the guest list that only partners of friends who are either married or in long term relationships will be invited (same rule applies to family too). Now majority of our friends in couples we are friends with both, there are only about 5 we don't really know very well.
We made this decision so we could invite more friends, so we have said no plus ones 9unless save the date says two people) but this may change later as we are already at max capacity (135 invited) and we need the numbers to be the set numbers.
Majority have understood by I got launched at today by someone who I consider to be a close friend. She is single and started with saying to me she found it strange - I stated we would love to have everyone but due to space and costs we couldn't. Everyone invited (including her) are in friends groups so she would know about a quarter of the people there.
I then get how she feels hurt and that I am treating single people/new couples unfairly, again I stick to my guns and simply explain it may change if others can't come but currently the rule stays.
She then explains we may have our rules as its our wedding but she can have her own and her rule is that she doesn't want to go to a wedding where only she is invited and therefore to give her place to someone else. I did pretty well to keep my cool and stated both myself and the OH consider her a close friend and are a hurt by the reaction but we will still send the save the date and invitation later on and she can rsvp how she wishes.
I know she is going through a rough patch at the moment but now I feel hurt, guilty and like I'm being unreasonable...... what I really don't understand is that she has been to two other mutual friends weddings where it has just been her invited and has never said anything like this to them.
Sorry about the long ranting post just needed to vent, and I don't want to bring it up with friends as I don't want to make it into a bigger issue in my friends group as this would cause more stress!
