Feeling a bit... 'meh'...

Oh that's really rubbish. People are so selfish sometimes. I've had a few things like this that have got me down, try to focus on the happier aspects of the wedding and you and your h2b and I'm sure that by the time you get to trying on your dress you'll have gotten over your disappointment

Yeah, we've been talking about all the things we are looking forward to and I know that on the day I won't care who has decided not to come. I just think we are both feeling let down. It is a bit of a way for some people to come, but we covered the distance to celebrate their days with them. Irritated. And now I need to send them nicey-nice 'it doesn't matter' replies when what I really feel like saying is 'it does frigging matter to me actually'. Probably sound a bit of a spoilt madam now, but need to vent! Xx

Ours is a bit of a distance away as well (100 miles), and not cheap to stay over. We invited everyone we really want to be there to the day, and others we'd like to be there just to the night time. We've had a good response for the day but didn't really expect a great response for the night so anyone that has rsvp'd yes has been a pleasant surprise. Our deadline is mid Sept though so a lot of people just haven't replied yet.

As long as the important people are there, it doesn't matter about the others. Unfortunately you tend to find out who your real friends are when you plan a wedding!

Ha that's exactly what I said earlier! Just feeling ratty about it, it's definitely made it worse that two of them are our oldest (joint) friends and we were so pleased they were coming. Never mind. Brush ourselves off and carry on

Also - just noticed your wedding is two weeks after ours!! How exciting!! xx

Yes fellow November bride! It's nice to find some others, it's one of the quieter months for fellow hitchers

I actually had my heart set on Nov 3rd and having fireworks, but our venue wasn't available and doesn't allow fireworks. That was one of my earlier disappointments, I've had loads of others since then [lol]

Where abouts are you getting married? November 3rd is the anniversary of our first date so once we realised its a Saturday this year we were sold on the date! Would have liked fireworks too but a bit too pricey I think

Ah that's lovely! I would have liked to get married on our anniversary but it skipped a Saturday because of the leap year, doh! And July wasn't really enough time to plan. We're getting married in the Lakes, a little town called Cartmel then onto Newby Bridge. We love the lakes but didn't come across these places until we started venue hunting.

What about you? And where are you up to with your plans? Tell me some details it will yet you feeling excited again!

!

Don't worry about it - you probably won't notice or care!

I will notice when we've got all the food paid for and nobody to eat it lol!
Where are you up to with your plans? We get menu tasting in September, I'm making order of services at the moment, and table plan (which would be so much easier if we knew who was bloody coming!), confetti bags for the church, Ooo I've been making table confetti out of a very battered (and unreadable else I couldn't bring myself to do it!) copy of gone with the wind! Xx

Nah, you won't care you'll be too happy! ?

Where are you getting married? What's your venue like? Church or civil ceremony?

We're in a similar position to you, I tried my dress last week, so that I could choose a veil, my fitting is late sept. We've been assembling table centres this evening, half way through order of service and table plan, need to get a few presents and choose register signing music. Had my hair and make up trials last week too, and menu tasting is 8th sept - can't wait for that! ?

Our table centres are sorted, and all the flowers have arrived (although I need to order one more button hole). Dress chosen and paid for but it was off the rail so I needed to drop about 2 dress sizes. Lost 2 stone since then and 1 dress size, hoping my

Corset will make it fit me as I'll be devastated if I have to have it taken out! Need MIL present, and to order some flowers to give out... Music is all picked! xx

Wow! Well done on your weight loss, that's brilliant! How long has it taken you and how have you done it? I have lost about 12lbs since Christmas through healthier eating and exercise, but stayed the same for ages so went back on weight watchers last month. My dress now fits on the hips but is too big on the bust - I'm pear shaped! I would have thought losing 2 stone would be 2 dress sizes?! Another few 1lbs and I bet it will be perfect.

What table centres are you going for? I stressed about this for weeks but have gone for candelabras in the end. Stuck on music for the church now though...

What is your colour scheme? Theme? Venue?

Oh that's really rubbish. People are so selfish sometimes.

Hi

I just wanted to add my reassurance.. It is weird, I think there is a natural 'meh' time about 2-3 months before- well it seemed to happen to me! Kind of almost like you just want to get to the actual day now and not have time to worry about really random things!

Keep smiling! x

I'm making order of services at the moment, and table plan (which would be so much easier if we knew who was bloody coming

Can I offer a piece of advice? I would make your table plan as close to the wedding as possible. We made ours 3 weeks before and still had to make amendments to it due to last minute drop outs etc!

Sorry hazyclaire, only just realised I completely ignored some of your questions!! Sorry, blame me having to reply via iphone lol this forum doesn’t seem overly compatible with it! We are getting married in OH’s family church (his grandparents and great-grandparents were married there!) and then the reception is at a country house. So excited!!

I was 16.7 stones at Christmas, weighed myself today and I’m now 14.4 stones!! I’ve done it primarily by reading labels – omg I had no idea there was so much fat and sugar in some things!! Well done on your weight loss – I’m praying my dress fits me next week!! I’d have thought I’d have dropped more than a dress size too, but apparently not L

Our colour scheme is navy blue and white, and we have fish bowl centrepieces with floating candles J

What about you? Venue, colours, etc??

Also – thanks butterflystar. I definitely have the wedding blues, can’t wait until the actual day and then the HONEYMOON!!! Omg, to talk to nobody other than OH for 11 days shall be blissful!! Xx

WSS

That sounds lovely, we're having a church too. especially nice that you have family history there.

That really is brilliant weight loss, you must feel so proud. I bet you're not far off a dress size, it won't be long!

I knew I wanted candles for our centrepieces with it being November as it will be dark by the time we eat. I loved the idea of floating candles but ended up going for candelabras in the end. Have you got a flash of yours?

Our venue is here:- https://www.swanhotel.com/weddings.htm/ I just love the style of the place. We'd been looking for ages but as soon as wwe walked in we knew it was 'the one' lol. It has loads of lovely rooms with different themes and we really like the idea od spending the whole weekend with our guests so it's not a rush to talk to everyone on the day.

Colour scheme is dark silver / grey and fuschia pink

Don't let the little things get you down and ask for help where possible.

I am 3 weeks away from my day, all the little details done, all paid for, and I am off work with stress because I didn't delegate and spent ages trying to perfect everything and putting pressure on myself to make it the day of not only mine but all my guests dreams!

I haven't cried, infact nobody has cried when I have had my dress fittings making me think its not "the one"

Just enjoy what the day itself means, that's my new plan.

I can totally relate to this and with two days to go I'm still feeling very "meh" about it all

We had a few lame excuses (do people not realise how hurtful it is?!) but in particular was on old school friend of mine. We were once best buddies and although don't see each other as often now, have always kept in touch. They get wed a couple of weeks after us. I RSVPd saying we'd be there and got a reply saying "that's fab, Thanks, it's soooooooooo exciting!!! Sorry, but can't come to yours x" . No explanation or anything, I was so annoyed.

sorry for the late reply, i've been away from the internet for a while. i totally agree with your post, it is very hurtful - and im in a similar situation too in that the couple that's really let us down are our oldest friend - we actually introduced them to each other too. i do understand that it's a long way for them, but the excuses they've made are so weak - i'd actually much rather they just said 'it's too expensive' than gabbled a load of rubbish to try and 'soften the blow'. and the really irritating thing is that if things were the other way around we'd have made sure we were at their wedding come hell or high water.

mner.

After all my positive replies to you the other day, I am now feeling completely the same. Why are people so self centred and thoughtless? It's a shame as it takes away from the wedding and all the lovely friends and family who are coming and wouldn't miss it for the world!

Hope you're feeling a bit better about it now BadgerBeetle

hey again - i'm feeling a bit better now, but i think that's because me and OH have had a bit of a rant about it to each other and decided that it's fine - we just know who to go the extra mile for in future.

what's getting you down? xx

Thanks JoJo - I've spoken to the venue and they've offered to put in some extra tables for the evening if we want. To be honest though I think I'm just over-thinking it, OH thinks it'll be fine. And at the end of the day it wont matter if there's 10 of us or 100 of us having a party we'll still make sure we have the best night of our lives!

I'm still feeling a bit mner, but tried the dress on today (see my other post!) so feeling a bit more positive. And we can't wait until the honeymoon either. Just think I'll feel better when it all gets going! xx

I'm glad you are feeling better, usually these things get you down a bit at first but then perspective kicks in. I'll be alright in a few days too no doubt. I posted a big rant about mine yesterday, basically my friend's husband having a go about her not being a bridesmaid and saying that our wedding and my hen do are too expensive. He's an idiot and not even worth bothering with, but it's hard as it makes things awkward with my friend and I can't just cut him off. Fortunately he's not coming to the wedding - good! But it's still horrible having bad feeling towards our happy day. Also my aunty isn't coming over a petty argument with her daughter - not even anything to do with us - but still hurtful that she's choosing not to come. How can people not realise how upsetting these things are? Grrr!

I think I'd been trying so hard not to let these things get to me that I'd bottled it all up and am now feeling stressed! It's a funny time at the moment, in limbo with the planning until people RSVP and the people who aren't coming begin to RSVP and it's hard not to take it personally.

Anyway, I hate listening to myself moan so I'll shut up now and try not to let it get to me

Going to go and check out the post about your dress fitting to cheer me up!

Eurgh that sounds so familiar! X is coming but cant sit next to Y, because Z will be there and they don't get on with Q, etc etc. One friend was invited before he announced his dislike of OH, have cut him off the list but he STILL sends me messages like he's expecting to come! Nob off!! Is he seriously thinking I'm going to spend a fortune on his dinner just for him to sit there and be holier-than-though about the man I've married?! I really do not understand some people!!

It is an awkward situation of your friend's husband to put you in, and not fair at all. Hopefully she will realise that too though. Just try and let it wash over you - on the day you probably wont even think about it Much easier said than done, I know... xx

Love this, tempted to send it out as a group text message to those that deserve it! Would make me feel loads better!

H2B off on his stag do this weekend, I hope nobody picks on me whilst he's away or there will be tears...

ahaha let's send is as a text together, would make me feel a hell of a lot better too!! i think that's the most frustrating thing - i'm so annoyed with these people but i cant say anything to them!!

and don't get me started on stag do's, OH's brother has thoroughly annoyed me and i cant do anything about that either!!!!!

message me if there are tears. i'll thump someone for ya ;P xx

Totally agree, torn between wanting them to know just how rubbish they are making you feel and not wanting to give them the satisfaction or drama!

What has the future BIL done? Or should I not ask?

Thank you for the punching offer, my dad has offered too - I may just take you both up on it!! x

Are you on Facebook? It's a long story lol!xx

My FB profile is hazyclaire too, but I just read it all on my email notifications - about the ex gf and the lack of stag do effort, what a nightmare!

Could you ask future MIL to give him a subtle prod so that it's not coming from you? x

Yeah - sorry i deleted the post on here, the internet has ears and all that jazz... i've tried mentioning it to MIL but not sure a poke from any direction will help. Never mind - OH has started planning it on his own now, he asked me to order him invites for it a couple of days ago lol. I want to help but feel like helping OH plan a stag do is a bit of a step over the line?! I may just hint at things I think he'd like for the daytime (paintballing, etc).

Like I said in my deleted post, I just expected a little more effort. I shant be forgetting this when he gets married and expects OH to plan his stag night! xx