Feeling a bit rubbish :(

Ask to see another doctor. Your struggling and you need help! I would also write a letter to your partner explaining how you feel to open up the discussion he clearly isn't grasping the reality of how you feel

With a bit of time & effort, things will get better!

Ask to see another doctor. Your struggling and you need help! I would also write a letter to your partner explaining how you feel to open up the discussion he clearly isn't grasping the reality of how you feel

With a bit of time & effort, things will get better!

Aww, sweetie, you can always come and vent here.

I don't like the city I live in either. Could you move to a nicer area, or to just outside the city?

I know from experience that if you hate your job, life feels so much harder. Have you thought about looking for something else? It might help your confidence to start going for interviews and make you feel more positive.

try and change your eating habits, ditch the rubbish from your house completely or you'll always be tempted, think about food in advance. You don't have to go to the gym to get moving, even if you just do a few bits at home you'll start feeling the difference, jog on the spot, bicep curl tins of beans, practice boxing, I could list a million little exercises!

I think you need to speak to your husband, even if you don't tell him everything. I know you say you don't have a lot of money, but you should try and have some quality time together, date nights are the best! Even if its at home, for example we sometimes have a posh picnic at home together. Or go out for a walk together.

I also think you need to go back to the drs. If you don't like the response from the one you've seen, request to see someone else. They should be offering you talking therapy

Big internet hugs, I really hope you can start to feel better x

Aww thank you guys, I don't feel so alone

i know now it sounds stupid but I decided, as a start, to cut my hair. it' was full of matts, split ends and I just can't look after it when it's long, but can't justify going to the hairdressers. So with my husbands help I have shortened it and my head (and brain) feel lighter. It sounds silly but holding onto something that just wasn't me had been stressing me out more than I knew. I'm also determined to go to the doctors if I don't feel better after attempting some light exercise.

Once again, thank you all for your kind words, and sorry that I had to rant, I honestly do feel a million times better now it's off my chest!

It's just habit-he likes computer games and it don't want to deprive him of that

well my husband is usually so tired after work he says he doesn't want to do anything, maybe I could suggest something fun to do together this month-I'm sure I could find the money somewhere. The doctors I have been to have always offered me the pills and then gave me a leaflet for the "lets talk" service-of course, people who are feeling very anxious and afraid might not feel up to ringing up themselves. That's how I felt anyway, not knowing what to say or the situation I might find myself in. It's funny, I work in a hospital and help the elderly, a lot of whom have anxiety/depression but I try to push it down up when I feel it myself. Thanks for the exercise suggestions, I feel more motivated

The goals notebook is such an excellent ideal, thank you, I even have a nice empty notebook I was saving for special. I miss my granddad every single day and don't feel like I've grieved properly even now, life rushes on but I'm still really sad. Might draw something or make something to remind myself of him because doing creative things usually calms me.

Which city?

And yes to a GP visit. There are different types of anti-depressant you can try.

i'm in gloucester. GP visit would be a good idea but they haven't done anything in the five or so years I've been repeatedly going in with this sort of thing. I feel like going again and being told the exact same thing would be horrible. I'm also terrified that they'll blame it on my weight which isn't really relevant as I've been like this pretty much all my life.

From a money perspective: Set aside a small amount each month for you and H to do something nice together. Also, look at vouchers, loyalty deals etc. Places like LivingSocial, Wowcher, Groupon etc do great deals on restaurants or days out, or you could get a Cineworld card so you can go to the cinema once a week. Going on "date nights" might help with your anxiety as well - you'll get more used to being out of the house, and if you and H spend more time together you'll probably find your sex life improves. Even something as simple as a walk in the park, or setting aside one night a week to cuddle up in front of a movie will help you feel closer.

You need to make sure that you can still have a life as well as paying off your debt. Have a look at how much debt you're in, with what companies, what the minimum payments are and what your monthly budget is. It might be worth having a chat to a financial adviser or Citizen's Advice to work out if there's a way of making repayments a bit easier. I've had to go through sorting my finances is out to repay debts since my divorce, so feel free to PM me if you want any advice. One thing I found really helped was making a list of all the one-off bills through the year (MOT, vets bills for my cats, birthday presents, insurances etc) and work out how much I would need to save per month to be able to afford them, then set up a standing order to put that amount into a savings account.

But, seriously, don't make your finances all about repaying your debt. You need to keep some aside for you and H to enjoy yourselves, otherwise it's no wonder you'll feel depressed. (Speaking of which, I've also recently been through therapy for social anxiety, and I can really recommend cognitive behavioural therapy. You can get some good books on it from Amazon or Waterstones. I also found running helps. It's cheap, gets you fit, and the fresh air and time alone helps to clear my head)

Im sorry to hear you are having such a rubbish time of it,

Ive recently been feeling a bit crap and I agree with the idea that taking control back is the first step in making a change. Its very hard to get the motivateion to do something but when you do it hels you get the "oomph" to do a bit more.

Have a hug and some virtual prosecco ❤️

Thank you everyone for your kind replies, I already feel better. So many nice people on here

i can't really do much outside of work class wise because I work shifts and have no idea when I'll be working month to month. So I might be in work until nine pm one week and be working all night the next, I'm not coping very well with it to be honest.

the debt is half overdraft and half a loan I originally took out to pay off an older overdraft and for a house deposit. The overdraft worries me most, I hate it but I need it and have no idea how to get out of it apart from getting a much better paid job. Speaking of which, I have managed to sit down and make a start by applying for some jobs. Applied for four in all, which I feel much happier about. Should make my long night shift tonight a little less painful anyway! :s

What industry are you in?there may be people on here who can help with CV;sand job as etc?

Debt- is it at the point you really cant cope?If so then a DMP could help, if not then perhaps speak to the bank and look at consolidation loans to help with the debt?

You've taken the first step to feeling better, acknowledging all the things making you feel crap. Take it all one step at a time, but make small changes, change your behaviour, go for a 20 minute walk around the block every day, have a mad ten minutes when you're home alone in which you turn up the music and dance about, start cooking different foods, set yourself little challenges ... You'll notice that changing your behaviour, knowing you are being proactive and doing it for yourself will change the way you feel about things. Make sure you notice happy moments and keep that feeling at the forefront of your mind for when you're having low moments. Slowly and gradually. The small changes will add up to huge changes before you even notice it happening. Good luck

As someone who has had issues with anxiety/depression and also I am a doctor I would say you really need to get back to the GP (preferably a different one) and ask to be referred for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I have had it and found it really challenges your negative thoughts and really helps you take a different look on things. It can take a fewe goes at it and maybe a few differernt people but I can really say it has made such a difference.

From the outside it looks like you have a lot of worries/anxieties. I would ask you to write them down and deal with one thing at a time, maybe try to make one change at a time. And most of all do not pressure yourself. I hope this helps. Please feel free to ask me any questions or anything ?

This is on a slightly different tack from everyone else, but in one of your posts you said you might make something to remember your grandfather and you're quite creative - what sort of things do you like making? The reason I ask is because I also live in Gloucester and know of at least two lovely places you can go and do crafty stuff and be sociable!

If you're into knitting or crochet, then Miju Wools on College Street by the cathedral is great - the ladies there are very friendly and helpful, and they run quite a few workshops and knit and natter sessions during the week, they're open Tuesday to Saturday. This Thursday they're doing a one-off 12 hour Knitathon, 9am-9pm, you can pop in at any time for a cup of tea and a bit of knitting/crochet. And if you don't know how, they will teach you!

The other place I know of is MJ Crafts on St Aldate Street by Debenhams - it seems to mostly be papercraft, card-making, that sort of thing, the lady in there was really nice when I asked her about workshops etc.

I have now lived in Gloucester for 4 years, and I hated it too at first. I lived a mile or two out of town (Barnwood), there was no decent pub nearby, I felt too far out to walk into town and so I just used to go into Cheltenham if I wanted to go shopping or out for a coffee. I moved a bit further into town, about half a mile from the centre so easy walking distance, and now I'm actually quite fond of Gloucester, particularly the Docks - I work from home but go to a cafe at the Docks once a week to do a bit of work there, get out of the house - I started it as a 'coworking' event for freelancers like me, and there are a few of us who go every week, we've become good friends. You'd be very welcome to join us if you're ever free on a Wednesday morning! Which area do you live in?

Finally, to echo what some of the other ladies have said, I think talking therapies and CBT could really be of help here. I also think it's important to talk to your husband about making time for each other. Some of the best dates can be free too! H2B and I like to go for a walk round Plock Court once or twice a week on weekday evenings - it's lovely to get some exercise, some fresh air, and we often have our best conversations when we're on a walk! I know you can't commit to a weekly evening class because of your shift work, but how about something like zumba? There are loads of zumba classes at various times, every day, all over the city, and it's pay as you go so there's no obligation to go to the same one every week. I'm about to start zumba again, I did it three years ago and found it a great way to lose weight and get fitter.

Good luck with everything, I hope you can make some positive changes. And if you would like to chat about stuff to do in Gloucester, or want more information about the wool shop, or want to meet up for a coffee(!) then please feel free to send me a message ?