Food during the ceremony

Hi

I can understand the wanting a more informal seating arrangement but why on earth would you want your guests eating during what is in effect the shortest yet most important part of your day? I just think noise, distraction, chatter..... Bit puzzled by this?!

I've got to say, this had me a bit nonplussed. As MWAH says, do you really want munching, crunching, glasses tinkling, cutlery clanging through your lovely ceremony? (On a legal note, the registrar and the witnesses have to be able to hear your declarations clearly in order for the ceremony to be valid). A civil ceremony takes 30 mins MAX, and I'm sure your guests can manage without being fed for that long? Especially if there's going to be drinks afterwards and a big meal. I don't know if it's allowed or not, though a quick google suggests some venues don't allow food/drink in the ceremony rooms, I just can't imagine why you'd want to.

Regarding seating arrangements, I can perhaps see why you wouldn't want rigid rows of chairs all facing you. Not sure if tables are the answer though - no matter how you arrange them, some people are not going to be able to see you at the front easily.

Your not allowed drinks in the ceremony room but not sure about food.

Some weddings do have the guests sat at tables with an aisle down the middle (usually Asian weddings) and they go straight into dining AFTER the ceremony, personally I wouldn't fancy eating and drinking during my ceremony xx

Its a wedding, not a trip to the cinema - Im sure your guests can wait 20 mins!

I agree with previous comments as it could be distracting. If I was a guest, I would actually feel quite awkward and feel it was disrespectful to carry on munching.

All the above!

We are not having an aisle, instead we are having chairs laid out theater style. I know you are are not allowed booze in the ceremony room and as already mentioned Civil Ceremony's are usually only around 15-30mins (depending on readings etc) why not just have drinks and canapes after the ceremony.?

Noooo, no snacks - don't do it!

We've been told no food or drink in the ceremony room from an hour before the ceremony starts. Thankfully our guests will wait in the bar upstairs until 15 mins before I arrive. Think it's a legal thing about the ceremony.

X

I think this would be a great idea. OH and I are both film lovers and I've already seen this great wedding in a retro cinema somewhere on RMW that interested me. I've also always been the type where I can function without snacking, used to snack continuously during school lessons, and I literally am obsessed with popcorn, so it'd kind of be a fun in-joke!

Cheers for the info guys! I didn't know where to start looking for the answer!

Even though it seems my guests won't have their lolly ices now after all,

i'll deffo be mixing up the seating. Rows are after all, a throwback to

religious ceremonies.

Rows are a throwback to religious ceremonies?!

Surely they're just the most practical way of everyone paying attention to whats happening in front of them - like going to the cinema, theatre, a gig, a lesson..?

Aren't rows of seats just a way of ensuring everyone is facing what's going on? If you have round tables several people will be cricking their necks to see the ceremony!

I'd prefer my guests to not feel like they're in a lesson! And of course, theatres, cinemas etc are not wanting to cram as

many people in as possible to get as much money as they can.

I just feel like that's what I want for my wedding, and seeing as so many people don't like the idea, it makes me more determined to

do it!

I think you should speak to your registrar about what they would allow. I think some of them can be quite strict. If you live in England you could go for a humanist ceremony, and get the legal proceedings done in a low-key way before the wedding - I imagine humanist ceremonies would not be as restrictive/more open to non-traditional ways of doing things!

That said, as a guest I like to hear the vows/ceremony. I would not like it so informal that seating arrangements/general atmosphere did not allow it. But it's up to you!

Ah but I would like my guests to feel like they are at a gig sat in rows...

legally- there's no food or drink allowed in the ceremony room. If you want the guests to not pay attention so much then why not proceed them with things to fiddle with/play with?

oh and welcome to hitched

Well I guess hitched is not the forum for me. I see no thinking outside the box here. I'm just wanting to

do something a bit different. Seems no one here can understand my ideas.

thinking outside the box???? Your thinking outside the marriage laws!!

if that's so important to you have you considered a non Legal ceremony to have the ceremony you want and just going to registry office to cover the formalities.?

My original plan for my informal festival/barn wedding was to have other things going on at the same time as the ceremony so that people came in to watch the ceremony if they wanted to but if they wanted to learn circus skills ouside or listen to a folk group in another barn they could (particularly thinking of those with small children as we have over 50% children at the wedding). This was not acceptable to the registrar and was particularly mentioned in their license conditions which the venue had to adhere to, as was the prohibition of food and drink in the ceremony room during the ceremony (I can't even have the cakes set up in the corner, for example, until after the ceremony).

I think that you are going to be out of luck with this one TB81, though as far as I'm aware there is no reason to have rows if you don't want them. As others have suggested, if you want a ceremony which is outwith the registrar's guidance, a simple registration of marriage at the registry office may suit you better, then a lovely personalised ceremony in front of your guests, with them doing whatever you choose? I do know that there are some outdoor venues (Fforest springs to mind) with a boffy or small building for a civil ceremony with only a few guests, which you do first thing in the morning to get it out of the way before a beautiful ceremony of your own design either outdoors or in a big kata tent.

Good luck in your search.

It's a shame you feel like this...not everyone on here is having a 'typical' traditional wedding! But on the whole, they're right, you need to think about what is actually allowed in the venue where you're planning on having the ceremony. Don't forget, a civil ceremony is basically a legal procedure and needs to take place in a suitable venue. Most of them don't allow food / drinks, etc. for obvious reasons; they tend to churn through weddings on a bit of a conveyor belt at busy times...they don't want to have to be clearing food / spillages in between, like cinema ushers!! Likewise, they won't have time to move furniture into different arrangements. Hence, the rows are the most efficient way of maximising the space if you have limited room and allowing as many people to attend the ceremony as they are able. That doesn't mean you have to wear a white, foofy dress, or be all demure and serene, or walk down the aisle to a string quartet, or have flowers...blah, blah, blah...

If you have the wedding at a private location, they can probably be much more flexible with the space available. Have you picked a venue yet? Why not ask them what they can suggest? I can guarantee that yours won't be the only 'alternative' set up they've seen- it's becoming more and more popular to break the rules these days.

If you find the whole ceremony thing too restrictive / formal (as we do), get that bit over and done with asap and get on with the party afterwards, where you can really put your stamp on proceedings. Alternatively, look into alternative types of ceremonies (someone suggested humanist?) where they can be a bit more flexible. We're having a pretty standard registry office do- really because it's the cheapest and most straightforward- it's the rest of the day we're making unique and individual. I've received stick on here for this, but everyone is different. It doesn't make your ideas any less worthwhile or valid because someone you've never met on an internet forum doesn't agree! ?

You go for it. Too many weddings are 'samey'. Well done to you for wanting something different.

Nobody is digging at you for wanting something different- indeed, whether we have chosen to go the traditional or alternative routes we are all putting our personal stamp on our weddings and everybody who asks for opinions is bound to get some answers they don't necessarily really agree with. I know, I've had plenty lol! I think what most of us were thinking is when it's your ceremony, why would you not want everyone's full attention? To most of us it's the most important part of the day and the whole reason the guests have been invited. As for seating, go with whatever you like (venue rules permitting).

Skeptical78 s wedding will be 'different' and it's just bloody brilliant!! :0)

Oh jog on then love.

sceptical- I smell a troll, don't waste your time.

Not too much pressure then!!!!!!! ?

Oooh, how exciting! I've never met a real one before!

None whatsoever Skeppy!! I'm always spotting things and thinking how brill they would fit in with your theme. You've got it nailed :0D

There's no point asking a question if you're going to throw a strop because people are disagreeing with you, or telling you that by law you can't do it.

I agree with this! The point of this forum is to bounce ideas around and get people's opinion, doesn't mean you have to stop your idea if no one on here likes it but you also don't need to be offended if we don't agree with you

I believe it would be destructing. It's a wedding ceremony not just any ordinary event.

I am not having a traditional wedding, I am having a Handfasting, and our guests will be in a circle around us so ya know its not all about rows

x

That's a really nice idea Snyffa, had not thought of that before.

Thank you lovey, Its the way it was always done back in ye olde days ya know haha! And we having an intimate ceremony with only 32 of us.

x

I've never heard of this before, what does it entail? Is it legally binding or do you also have to have the legal bit done?

I think the handfasting ceremony is lovely, I watched some videos about it on youtube and it was sooooo nice. The guy took it extremely seriously, it was very very special.

It was nice to see everyone around the couple watching and paying attention and being in the moment and involved too, without any distractions.

xxx