Food ponderings

I was going to write that on the thread! When i was younger it was a case of "eat whats put in front of you, or go without" ?

But i agree with you Nick, it has been frequent, although maybe its the "in" thing - to be a fussy eater!?

I grew up in an 'eat what you're given' household.

When I was about 14 I became quite idealistic about the treatment of animals and decided to become a vegetarian, but my mum refused to 'pander' to my faddy eating, and carried on giving me meat-based meals. After several days of eating nothing but vegetables picked out of stews and getting very bored and hungry, I gave up on the idea of being a vegetarian completely.

I was thinking the same when reading that thread. I think we have become far too indulgent of peoples' (and children's) little foibles. I'm not suggesting for a second that I'm an ungracious hostess, but I expect my dinner guests to enjoy my lovingly prepared (and thoughtfully chosen) food without having some kind of whimsical, hissy gastronomic fit.

Same for me - if my Mum cooked something I wasn't keen on I sat at the dining room table until it was finished. I remember an omlette taking over an hour once ?

I'm veggie now and always let people know in advance that I don't eat meat/fish and always offer to take something myself if its a problem.

?

Because when we grew up, nobody had food allergies, lactose intollerance, gluten intollerance, IBS, an opinion on farming techniques or the organic movement. Well, except for that boy down the road who's face swelled up when he ate peanuts.

Casting my mind back (of course it doesn't go back to the dark ages like yours, Nick), I have to say I agree. The only time I can recall my Mum altering a menu plan when she was cooking for guests was when a friend who couldn't have gluten was coming round (she had *the actual illness* where you can't eat gluten - I just can't remember at the mo what it was called).

If I knew a friend hated something with a passion or was genuinely allergic I'd avoid it - but I have issues with the more faddy element!

I'm very lucky in some ways. My group of friends aren't fussy eaters, we're pigs and scoff whatever is in sight. So dinner parties aren't a problem for us. I can't ever see myself as a host who would pander to people's requests, unless there is a genuine allergic reaction or something.

Likewise with my family, as a child I was given a plate of food and if I didn't eat it I'd have it for the next meal, then the next, until it was eaten. It may seem harsh but it done the job, I eat practically everything now.

My husband had the same kind of treatment but it didn't work for him and now when I'm trying to "force feed" his daughter cabbage with our roast dinner, he'll let her off because it's not nice to be forced to eat something you don't like. How the feck can she not like it if she doesn't try it ? We have many a row over this.

I don't think my mum ever had to say, "This is what's for dinner, it's this or nothing" because my brother and I pretty much wolfed down anything that was put in front of us and to this day we'll graciously eat anything that's cooked for us. I do have some very picky friends, though, and it makes eating out a big headache to the point where I'd rather not do it and I won't cook for them either.

In our house you ate what you were given or went hungry.

My mum also used to be a Guide Leader and before a Guide camp would send out health forms to all the parents. At camp there was a menu for the whole week. There was never a choice of meal unless someones parent had stated they had an allergy you were expected to eat what was on offer, or bread and jam. If you just didn't like something it was tough, it wouldn't kill you so you ate it or went hungry.

We often have friends round and I cook for everyone. I don't do shell fish because my best friend is allergic, but he is the only person with an allergy. I have a friend who doesn't like chilli much, but if I've made it, he will eat it.

If I'm having people round I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of cooking more than 1 thing

Normally in our house we all eat the same thing, the only variation being if we're having mash then MrSun will have chips or croquettes if I'm feeling generous that is lol!

The only time i've posted about fussiness was when I did Christmas dinner last year and my BIL is a fussy eater and wouldn't have wanted the starter or the pudding. If I'd have had my way he'd have got what he was given and would have had to leave it but I was pressured into pandering to him by the in-laws and SIL, actually MIL provided the beef because he didn't like turkey and to be honest, he was welcome to it cause it looked like vacuum packed cardboard muck.

I had something of a disagreement with my friend about this just this weekend.

Her kids are fussy eaters. When they come to stay with us she brings a cardboard box full of food (usually tinned sausages, crisps, cakes and chips), because H and I scratch cook. When she and her husband go out to eat it has to be in a McDonalds or similar because that is all the kids will eat. She took them to a restaurant once and they refused to eat so she bought them a McDs on the way home as she felt 'guilty'.

I told her to stop pandering. They should eat what they are given and not allowed to eat sweets, crisps and cakes if they don't. She agreed, but said she does it for a quiet life. I still can't believe it.

I have an allergy to caffeine (only recently diagnosed) and I feel ridiculous just having to ask for decaff coffee, coke and tea.

I was and am a very fussy eater - but not in the sense that I've got a list of a billion things I won't eat, in the sense that I find it very hard ot stomach food that's badly prepared or that I don't like. When we were in South Africa doing a walking holiday I survived for about three days on toast and marmite and mandarins, because the food was grimmity grim.

When I was growing up, if I or my sister didn't like what mum had cooked that was fine, we didn't have to eat it - there was always salad on the table and cheese and biscuits afterwards. But we certainly wouldn't be offered a choice.

I find it a bit nervewracking eating at someone's house for the first time unless I know they're a good cook - whilst you might be able to get away with "Oh sorry, I forgot to mention that I'm alergic to onion", "Oh, sorry, I simply can't eat this because your cooking is sh!te" is not really on and you just have to choke it down.

?

the other thing which annoys me is so called "intolerances". i m a firm believer (with no medical or other facts to back my opinion up) that the amount of preservatives in supermarket food - particularly bread (and white "plastic" bread at that), is a big cause of these "intolerances" and that if those people ate food without the preservatives etc, they wouldnt have the issues they do. quick bit of anecdotal evidence - my friend has crohns and stopped eating bread as it made him "bloated". i gave him some home made bread made with wholegrain flour, yeast and water and presto, no problem. he now makes it himself, and can eat it with ease, and with no issues. i fully appreciate that this is anecdotal of course, and is in no way any true evidence of anything.

but "intolerances" seem to be a very new thing. what on earth did people do before ibs and "intolerances" ?

Actually Nick, you've also just reminded me about our works christmas do. We're a small company, we are treated every year (partners aswell) to a beautiful meal at a top local hotel, drinks etc. all provided, something a lot of companies don't do.

Every year we get to choose from the menu what we'd like, usually 3 choices of starter/main/dessert. Every year one couple moans if there isn't turkey on the menu, they don't have it at Christmas so want it at our do. Last year it was either turkey on the menu or they weren't coming. They also moan if there's no custard with the christmas pudding and that has to be provided.

I think this is just the extreme of bad manners and it p1sses me off to the maximum. If I was the boss i'd tell them to stay at home.

That's ridiculous. If they know they're going to get a MacDonalds if they don't eat their meal then where's the incentive to eat the meal in the first place. I'd let them go hungry. And to bring your own food when you're staying at a friends place is just ridiculous and bad manners IMHO. Tinned sausages ffs!

I agree with you. in fact, we were at a party this weekend where there was no vegetarian option (i'm veggie) so i just had some rice and sat in the corner where (i hope) the hostess wouldn't notice that i wasn't eating the main dishes.

it was fab food actually. jamaican - mutton curry, spicy chicken legs, rice and beans and those little dumpling things.

I actually have no idea where my intolerance/allergy/call it what you want came from - it occurred for the first time when I was 20!

I think there has always been the meat/vegie options however I agree it has got silly. Re my thread, everyone should have got turkey (which is free) and liked it, infact, seeing as the dinner isn't even at my house I don't know why I was fretting as H reminded me again last night. However, I think we are in the era of aiming to please, and instead of doing what most of us were raised with which (in my case aswell) was this is tea, eat it or don't, we fanny about trying to please everyone.

I blame it on Come Dine With Me. ?

I don't like slugs mushrooms, sprouts and nuts, but I could eat them (if the world was ending) and although most family/friends know I don't like them I don't make a deal out of it and otfen have food with them in and just watch out for them.

I think it's probably something to do with the relative cheapness and availability of food. My parents both remember rationing- for them, however much they could afford, food will always be seen as something valuable and not to be wasted. I think some younger people just don't see it like that. Even now that food prices have gone up a little, food costs are still a small proportion of most people's spending (and definitely a relatively small proportion historically). Why not waste a few quids worth of food? Who cares about a couple of quid? It's dreadful.

Wonder why he gets heartburn? ?

I remember that. Erk. I was appalled that someone would be that much of an arse, even though my own SIL ONLY eats Meat, Potato and Yorkshire puddings. No veg. Not even carrots. Nothing.

BTW, I FINALLY picked up the message you sent me, sorry it's taken so long, I NEVER look there!!! Sorry.

Funnily enough I read an article on the subject the other day, it goes something like this . . .

Man eats nothing but junk food and has a crappy digestive system, so goes to the doctor.

Doctor says, hmmmm, sounds like a food allergy, try cutting out wheat / dairy / evil-du-jour.

Man stops eating wheat, but because he is now taking an interest in his diet also cuts out much of the junk.

Man feels better, hey presto, it must have been a gluten intollerance all along !

OK, this isn't true or every case, but it is certainly true of some (many ?)

H won't eat the edge bits of meat/crusts of bread (not off slices but the end crusts) as "he doesn't like them" - meaning he was never made to eat them at home!

but do you not think (you as in everyone) that this is not only a symbol of the availability and relative cheapness of food, but of a perceived feeling of entitlement to luxuries of all kinds, of which food forms a huge part of our day to day lives? i ll eat virtually anything, and i think thats because when i was growing up, my mother used to make all kinds of dishes, and had me eating all sorts of food, even if i wasnt keen to begin with. now it seems that not only are so many people so fussy, but those doing the providing (if a party etc) will stress and worry and want to provide a number of options because johhny wont eat mushrooms, fenella wont eat potatoes, tracy wont eat fish or vegeables, and geoff wont eat pasta?

further, the methods of how food is produced to meet high demand and expectation is ridiculous in my view. chicken and salmon for example were percieved as luxuries (in my lifetime) to be had once in a blue moon, and certainly not on a weekly basis. now they are demanded almost daily it seems, and this of course has led to unhappy meat being produced to meet the demand for accesible and cheap food. i think its the completely wrong approach. bit of a different argument that though.

I'm not fussy, I love food and would always eat whatever was put in front of me, until I was diagnosed with coeliac disease.

Now I have no choice but to refuse certain foods - ridiculous numbers of foods tbh. Well, I do have a choice, I can eat it and not care that as a result my iron levels etc will drop to dangerous levels, but that isn't really an option.

If we're invited out I always make sure the host is aware of my condition and that I'm happy to bring something along to eat if it's an issue. If I'm eating out I can normally guarantee to find SOMETHING on a menu I can eat - though it's more difficult when pregnant as that has it's own food bars (lots of which I have to ignore for the sake of my own sanity)

We're going out tonight and I am horribly afraid that the hostess hasn't grasped the implications, it's not going hungry that bothers me, it's the fact that she'll feel bad, and as she's my husband's boss's wife that's an issue.....

These threads always make me very uncomfortable, there is an implication, maybe just in my own mind, that we're fussy and should put up and shut up, I find that upsetting. I would love to be able to tuck into a lasagne, or a yorkshire pudding or just a slice of buttered toast ?

Going to blame pg hormones for the fact that I'm actually crying writing this.

I find it quite odd too the way people are so fussy. I was brought up to eat whatever was on my plate and to try something once before making a judgement.

I don't like peas ( people think I am strange!) but recently they were with the roast dinner at a friends house and I just ate them politely.

I luckily only have one person who is fussy in my life (my MIL) everyone else will try something once.

I think there is a world of difference between a genuine issue like you and I have (if I eat onion I get headaches, sickness and a horrendous rash all over that is itchy and painful - my eyes swell and water like crazy!) and just not eating because you are precious about not liking this and that

yes, i think so. my crohsn friend did an online allergy test (sighs loudly) and what a surprise, it came back with lactose, gluten and wheat. so, he stops eating crappy bread, stops drinking full fat milk etc, and wowee "i feel loads better" - but as you say, he effectively stopped eating really poor quality food. when i made the bread for him, i told him it was gluten free (a lie of course, but he wasnt allergic, so i figured the worst that could happen was he felt the same bloated feeling). anyway, nothing happened, i told him, he laughed, and now makes it for himself and his family, and his kids love it. perhaps the GPs here may disagree, but i think its all too easy for a gp to say to someone "oh you might be x intolerant - cut it out" and then as you state, hey presto "i cant eat gluten, i have an intolerance you know".

similarly, where did IBS come from? my GP friend says that when people (usually women according to him) come to the surgery complaining of feeling bloated, he first rules out anything more sinsiter, then says "ah yes, ibs" and gives them buscopan or whatever.

But TF you are allergic and Coeliac is very serious...my ex's gran had it and she was poorly for so long til it got found out.

I think there is a distinct line against people who genuinely can't have certain foods due to it making them ill and people who won't eat something cos it is lumpy ?

Oh you silly goose. Nobody's having a pop at people with bona fide medical conditions.

We are having a dig at those who use made up illnesses to avoid eating things they like less, and the people who pander to these whims.

"Sorry Jenny, turns out I'm now allergic to everything except lobster and champagne, hope that won't be a problem . . . "

Not true for me, for example.

I have had anaenia and pernicious anaemia all my life, supplements and "iron rich diet" did nothing. A new GP ran blood tests, then I had to have a biopsy. Only then was I diagnosed.

For the first time since I was 5 I wasn't anaemic. I am again at the moment, but that's pregnancy related.

well, i think thats a totally seperate issue. i m talking about fussy eaters, not people with allergies or diseases.