For all you old marrieds!!

We had a wonderful, wonderful day and the things I would do differently are fairly minor, apart from having one of my bridesmaids able to be there (she was in hospital at the time and died 3 months later) ?

- had the corset in my dress slightly looser: I was in quite a lot of discomfort by the evening and felt tired and grumpy for quite a lot of the evening reception

- I went upstairs for a nap at 11pm (and to get the dress loosened) and came back down at midnight for the last hour and had a ball: I wish I had gone for the nap a lot earlier!

- gone with my instincts and had less of the cake cut up: I had a top cake and 120 minature cakes and wanted to leave 70-80 cakes uncut for people to take home but my wedding planner persuaded me that people would eat it and to leave 30 uncut cakes. I could have cried when I saw how much cut-up cake was going to be wasted.

- not get the jitters about doing a speech: I couldn't eat our wonderful meal and managed about 2 sips of wine as I felt so nervous. I also missed out on the bacon rolls, cheese board and krispy kreme doughnuts we had as late night snacks ?

God loads! We planned our day for our guests and took a lot of trouble doing it (location that suited most people, reasonable bar prices, range of accomodation nearby, laid on minibuses for transport back to hotels, didn't spend too long on the photos so people wouldn't get bored, catered for muslims, jews, coeliacs, vegetarians and a range of other preferences inbetween, invited rellies that we probably shouldn't have....) We organised the whole thing ourselves, including stuff that had to get done on the day and almost didn't see one another apart from the bloody ceremony. End result: I didn't enjoy it at all (but everbody else did). A major source of stress (which resulted in a court case!) was me not having a wedding dress one week before (don't ask) and I think that it was that, and the stress involved in trying to sort something else out that ruined it. I just wanted it all to be over in the end ?

Our marriage (thankfully) has been a much more joyful affair. We'll have a big old 'as we like it' party for our 10th anniversary I think (4 years from now)

Nothing. it was perfect. and three years on i can finally look at the photos and accept i did not have fat arms (which I was convinced of in the weeks leading up to the wedding ?)

I thought of one more which still makes me cross 6 months on. I would've kept a better eye on my 20 year old BiL and his girlfriend as they were taking the whatsit with our free bar at the start of the night and had I seen it at the time I'd have stopped him buying 5 drinks at a time and then not drinking most of them which meant my family didn't benefit from the free bar before it ran out.

The only thing I'd change, my only regret really, is that I never danced with my Dad. H and I did our first dance, then got called away as some elderly relatives were leaving early and I never really got back to the dance floor. It still makes me a bit sad as I know I will never get that opportunity again.

Apart from that everything was just the way we had hoped it would be ?

The only thing I'd change was not to have had my step siter and usband as they ruined my seating plan.

Also I'd have I wish I'd have been strongr with one of our supposed friends who wouldn't allow my guests to use the downstairs loo in their gite (we got married in a chateau France). It was peeing it down and for people to get to the toilets in the main house they were getting soaked and it was muddy under foot. This paticular guest go all up herself and kept locking the through door. I explained the venue would be cleaning said loo at the end of the night and then she said it was a question valuables may go missing. I was livid that she was effectively accusing my family and friends of being theives. Igave up at that point as I couldn't be arsed with her.

I have since culled her though as I was disgusted by her arrogance, but I so wish I'd have just taken the key off the venue and kept unlocking it!!!

Oh and I'd have asked for my hair and makeup to have been done later in the day.

Apart from those minor things, it was perfect and everything I'd hoped my day would be. Our friends still talk about it being the best wedding they have been to, which is such a wonderful compliment.

I had a fantastic day. the only small things that I would change would be:

1. sack the dressmaker when I first had concerns about getting all the dresses on time (my dress was great but both BM dresses didn't fit and the men's waistcoats weren't made at all (which i didn't find out until the day)). If she had just said, even a week before, that she was struggling to do the work, I would have got in friends/family to help but she said nothing and it really spoilt the day in terms of the clothes as I paid a lot of money for the BM dresses in the expectation they could be worn again as evening gowns.

2. a shorter 'first dance' . I loved dancing with my new husband but it seemed to last an age.

3. remembered to take the good pens to the church - we bought 3 nice pens but ended up signing with a biro!

4. be clearer with ushers when they were due at church and what their role was in the day (2 were so late they arrived at church after the guests!)

5. More port and cigars and buy decent snuff (not the cheap stuff that we bought)

Magenta x

I wouldn't change a thing. It was perfect. Little things did go "wrong" but they were funny and made the day what it was.

Thanks for all your replies.

I think i have learnt alot of things from these posts.

I have decided to have no favours (which i was dithering about before but now i think sod it no they are a waste) and i will make sure i enjoy everything about the day!!

We didn't have favours, no regrets whatsoever. We were giving our guests a fabulous 3 course meal froma top caterer, champagne and pimms reception, free bar all nighht, why would they care about 2 ferror roche* in a cardboard box? I find the whole idea a bit odd.

*if favours were fabulous, like Jo Malone travel bags, I would clearly care ?