FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! - guest list drama update

I would be the same as u!!

The cheek of it!

Well done don't react coz that's what they want, invite someone else to fill there place.

I recommend any zombie killing game, that's what I play when I'm angry lol.

OMG the cheek, i'd be doing the same as you emotional blackmail doesn't wash well with me. I actually probably wouldn't be able to hold my temper though and i'd be going finding myself another florist and telling her and her daughter not to bother coming (i'm a Hot head though lol). Take a deep breath and don't loose any sleep over it, when it comes to the day i wouldn't be surprised if they both don't end up staying all day and bf comes along later x

Are they for real??? I feel for you and totally agree with your decision xxxx

That is really naughty of them and their reaction is downright childish. You have every right to be angry. Hope you kicked some virtual butt!

Update: my aunt givig up meal so the BF can have it. OK, well clearly being nice gets you no where so let's be a bridezilla. excuse me? So He can have the meal? HE'S NOT COMING! END OF STORY.

I did text my MOH how upset I am over this (she's my aunties youngest daughter) and she fully backs me, in her words 'dont let them bring *** to your door, fight them!'

My aunties name is going on the table plan not the BF. I won't be bullied into this one.

This has made me so cross for you, stick to your guns don't let him come to the meal, i am glad your MOH is being helpful.

Oh no .. This sounds awful. Is your BM a madam and is it possible she's got on about it to her mother which is why her mother is now trying to 'fix' it?

Either way - stand strong. Don't have someone at your wedding that you don't want there. I feel for you

You are not out of order at all, it's your place to have who you want at the wedding, and you've already said the boyfriend can come to the evening. How about telling your auntie that, while you appreciate she is trying to be helpful, you had a list of friends to invite to the day if other people couldn't make it, and that if she chooses not to attend the meal, one of them would be invited over the boyfriend.

Don't let them push you into inviting people you don't want - especially at such a late stage.

I agree with RLB, I would ask auntie if she definitely does not intend to stay for the meal as if not you can upgrade your friend *Guest X*. It is your day and you should have the people you want there.

Your aunt is being incredibly childish and rude. How can you give your place to someone who isn't invited? I think you should call their bluff and not invite ANY of them. What a cheek! You even said he could come to the evening - surely that should've been enough? I wouldn't have been able to keep my mouth shut. I would've told them all where to go (realise it's a bit different for you) but you should never have been put in this situation and they are all being very selfish and self centred.

Great shout RLB!

Definitely do this!

It is just sickening!!!! How can people be so damn rude?!

Tell them if they are going to be so petty why don't they all not come ! He's not coming end of ! Absolute joke! X

Ugh, how awful! Stick to your guns - he sounds like a nasty piece of work, who shouldn't come anywhere near your wedding. As someone else said, upgrade a friend. It's your wedding, no one else's!

I am surprised on a daily basis how people think they have a right to tell you what to do with your wedding. I found out the other day that my friend has been b*tching to my other mates that she thinks it's unfair she doesn't get a plus one, and that she should be a allowed to bring a FRIEND. Our wedding is not cheap and we have saved long and hard for it - why should we shell out for some randomer to come to our wedding?!

I'm appalled at their behaviour Elixia. Rise above it, as you seem to be. It's their decision if they choose not to enjoy your hospitality. I agree with RLB's suggestion. Get a final answer as to whether she'll be there for the meal and if not find anyone else that can come instead of this man.

Sorry?? So your aunt is now giving her meal to the BF?! 1. how rude of her, surely she should want to be at the meal 2. what gives her the right to give it to anyone?? Its a wedding breakfast not a top she bought and doesnt like!

Serioulsy this is madness i really feel for you. Good for you not being bullied into having someone there you dont want, stick to your guns and massive good luck.

Family's eh! Wonder if your aunt would act this way if it was a friends wedding? I bet not. Stick to your guns. If I were you it would make me more determined not to let him come. I wonder if she knows though that you have said he could attend the evening.

yes.

this happens all the time with that family. I've never been at the brunt of a previous bout of these and I thought i could trust them.

RLB - That good advise. my mum rung this morning to say she'll ring around today to confirm who from that family is now going and seeing who could take their place. I have 2 Great Ants, 1 Great Uncle and my godfather who got missed off due to numbers so any of these could fill the gap/s

onto top of this, even thou my auntie said in a text last night to my mum that 'she still loved me and she will still do the flowers' I'm going to look up alternatives. they've let me down once, it would be shame on me if I let them do it again.

I feel for you Elixia!!! And I think you're absolutely right to stick to your guns and go ahead and invite someone else. Have you got bouncers for the day??? Sounds like you might need them!

My mate ACTUALLY offered as a joke a year ago! i might take him up on it!

I find it shocking that other people think they have the right to make decisions about other peoples day! How dare they !

What a nightmare this all is for you, all because of a boyfriend, who potentially wont even be around in 6 months time, never to be seen again! I wouldn't have anyone who wasn't invited by US seating down for a meal which WE had paid for ! It's a joke, as advised, I would inform your Aunt that you now have a friend coming to take her place, so she now needs to go and inform the BF that he wont be attending after all.

Feel for you, I really do x

Oh Elixia, how horrible of them, I really feel for you! You seem to be handling it amazingly well though - great attitude.

I think you do right looking for alternatives on the flowers, I'm not sure I could bring myself to trust them.

My god, some people are so selfish. It's YOUR day not theirs. Stick to your guns Elxia x

Elixia - I know you have been really involved in your flowers with your aunt (yes I remember your coloured flower bouquet decision!) but I think you are right, I think you should look for someone else to do them. I don't think you'll have too much trouble finding someone as it's not peak wedding season. I wouldn't trust your aunt now and well, do you want her involved now anyway? After the way she has behaved? If I were you I would be telling your aunt she doesn't need to worry about doing the flowers.

Elixia why don't you ring your aunt yourself, explain that you want HER at your wedding, not the BF and tell her that even if she gives up her place at the meal he won't be invited another family member who didn't get invited will take her place. I'd also tell her he has been invited to the evening. Good luck, we all love the family drama.. Not xx

Wow some people are unbelievable! What is wrong with him just coming to the night do for god's sake!

Carry on doing what you're doing, and find a new florist if you've got time. Your auntie doesn't deserve your business, and if you're not paying her and she's doing them as a favour, then I wouldn't risk it, she will probably pull out last minute! Tell your auntie that if she's not coming to the meal, another person (NOT the cousin's boyfriend!) will take her place. End of.

Speaking as someone who had similar problems but is now the other side of the wedding, I actually disagree with every other poster. It's really not worth it. They are your family, please don't let something so meaningless cause a rift that could potentially be very difficult to fix.

I promise you wouldn't even notice the bf. Yes they are cheeky and rude and it's your day so what you want should overrule everyone else, but please try to be the bigger person. I did (eventually, after a lot of ranting and raving) and it didn't impact on my wedding day at all. I never even noticed the offending extra.

I'm actually a stone throw away from calling the whole thing off. I've organised big parties, their hard work but fun and rewarding. this, this has been nothing but torture. emotional torture.

I might just cave OB I just don't care anymore

Honestly, as much as it gets to you now I promise you won't care when the day comes

I can see both sides of this.

Yes I think your aunty is being out of order and I am totally for offering the place she has given up to someone else you actually want there.

I don't think that BM would have stayed a BM either!

But then again (if it is possible and you can afford it) letting him come could make a lot of the stress disappear.

Keep your chin up what ever you decide. It will be worth it in the end!!

i disagree with OB totally! I'm sorry but why let them get away with it! They are out of order! You've already compromised on the fact he can come to the evening so be it!

personally if I was him I wouldn't even want to go knowing that everyone was falling out trying to get me an invite and I was not actually wanted there!

your cousin/bridesmaid needs to grow up, she can stamp her feet and run to mummy when it's her turn to get married!

when your aunt resides given up a meal doesn't get this boyfriend a seat she'll quickly change her mind!

^ exactly the kind of rants that were coming from me 4 months before my wedding. I'm not saying I don't get it, just that it's not worth the agro.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

My mum is under the impression that even if i let him go now, my auntie still wont show. saying she never goes back on her word even if its cutting off her noses to spite her face.

so i could cave, let him come and STILL not have her there even though I really want her there...