Friends.

No wonder you are hurt, that is awful of them. But then you could say, if they care so little, you are better off without them in your life anyway.

My H is friendless. It bothers me, more than it bothers him.

I'd be lost without my friends, but he says he only needs me, which I think is pretty sad TBH.

It's annoying because OH has SO many friends and they are all lovely and have welcomed me with open arms, but I'm not close to them, we don't really chat outside of when we see each other.

I'm quite content to be at home with OH and be abit of a book worm at times, but I am social and like to go out and I really feel like I have no one to do that with except OH (and I'm sure he'd love to not have to go shopping with me!)

I need like a match.com for friends.

How awful!

I guess you've learnt the hard way that they aren't actually friends.

Ditch them and make some new and better ones!!

?

You poor thing! I have an idea of what you're going through, honestly, it's like you could be writing my story. For our engagement party over a year ago now, we had it back in Ireland yet only one of my friends could make it and it really upset me. I've found it really difficult making new friends since I came to the UK - anyone I know is either a colleague or one of H's friends (he's lived here 2 years longer than me). If you find a good friendship site, let me know! ?

I'm sorry to hear this Muppet. That does sound really upsetting. You don't need people like that in your life - only have people that make you feel happy!

However, don't forget that Otters are indeed a kind of "match.com" of friends.

That's terrible!

My hairdresser uses a site which 'matches' people with similar interests, was set up for people wanting to go to gigs or cinema etc when their other halves weren't into the same thing. He went to loads of gigs with people, but they also do things like running clubs, cycling, book clubs etc. As a result of this he has struck up some amazing friendships and he never felt like he was doing it to make friends iykwim. If you have interests it might be worth a google. I can't remember what the site is called I'm afraid, but will look.

Thanks guys. It's just a bit frustrating, I mean, I don't know what I am doing wrong!

Might have to start 'putting my self out there' maybe join a running club (when I'm confident as a runner) and the like, try and find some new people.

I'm sorry Muppet. However I remember your last thread and I think your friends showed their true colours previously when they didn't congratulate you on your engagement.

I've had people take sides when I split with an ex and it was horrible as they had no idea what really happened. You don't need them in your life, they aren't your friends. I hope you aren't inviting them to the wedding.

Thanks Laura - it wasn't just those 2 friends - who got uninvited, but my other friends too! Seems none of them really care that much.

Scratch this - I just ordered a onesie. I never need to leave the house again.

Really sorry to hear that happened, l hope you still were able to enjoy your engagement party. Funnily enough we are eloping and the more time that goes on then l am glad that is the case. For example 2 lots of friends have already said they are not attending our wedding party. Despite the fact Mr Erin made the effort (plus lots of time and money!) to go to their weddings: 1 in Canada and 1 in Australia! I have noticed a lot of people like others to make lots of fuss for their weddings but aren't as bothered to make ean ffort for others weddings.

A website that could be useful is: www.meetup.com I used it to find a book club l used to go to, there are a diverse number of groups on there.

That's pants! I'd feel hurt too! I think there is a website called 'city socialiser' or something along those lines that might be of interest x

This. This is also why I don't bother with friends, and don't bother letting anyone get too close to me. One way or another the majority just $hit on you.

I tend to expect the worst of people, but I thought had finally got myself some good friends (not the kind the sleep with your boyfriend, or other great qualities you want in people) but seems to not be the case.

Glad I'm not having a hen do! How terrible would that be!

I'm going to try and be more social once my exams are over, and start a running group and go to baking classes, try to meet people that way.

Was it a formal engagement party?

Not that it makes that much of a difference as your friends should have been there regardless, but if it was a simple "meeting up for celebratory drinks" I could sort of understand people not showing up, especially if they didn't know it was REALLY important to you for them to be there.

If it was a formal thing, however, I'd be totally miffed.

We'll be your friends!

Yeah it was an official - well official as far as we were concerned, please rsvp type thing. All of OH's friends made the effort, even travelling/ with work next day turned up.

Muppet I'm so sorry for you, but you know what? Stuff em. If they can't be bothered to be polite, they aren't worthy of your friendship. Leave them to their petty ways.

I think the running club thing sounds good if that's your style. I did register for that meetup website but bottled it! I have such a small circle of true friends, but I'm happy with that as they all put in equal effort as I do. The friends I've shed along the way were the ones who I had to make a lot of effort for and got very little back in return. After my 30th I saw some of my 'friends' in a new light, I think sometimes it takes an event or occasion to really show some people's true colours.

Did they make ridiculous excuses, or just not show?

Some RSVP'd to say they would be there, but didn't show, and I've not heard from them since, another couple pulled out at the last minute (for ridiculous reasons, which alone were questionable) and the rest just didn't show. Not heard from a single one of them since.

I was really down about it, probably why I'm glad to be back at work and busy! I'm going to forget them, and work on new friendships.

Good idea. An Otter meet needs to be arranged for the New Year

In the South East, not so far from London. Otter meet would be fun!

Snap i dont really have any friends either, i sometimes meet up with one of my very old school friend and one from secondary school but thats about 3 times a year (both coming to the wedding) but I don;t have anyone i could meet up in the week. I do get jealous of OH and i text people from work but never meet up with them

Wanna become my friend?

Twats. Agree with the others, you are better off without them and slowly building up new friendships instead.

There are lots of Otters in the south east, definitely come along next time there's a meet!

I will be your friend x

Hell yeah! Let's be friends!

Yay thank you! :-) x

Whereabouts?

I've grew apart from many friends - I'm not interested in getting drunk every wkend & our disposable cash is limited so we have been cast aside somewhat. It hurts but says more about them than me.

I joined a running club last year & have made lots of friends through it so really recommend it.

Good Luck - you don't need friends that you cant rely on & are not there for you at important times.

What a bunch of dicks. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I'm not completely friendless but I need less than one hand to count the people I consider friends. I have my besty, 2 friends I'm pretty close to, and a woman from uni that I meet up with every 6 months. Other people I consider acquaintances rather than friends. I found I've grown apart from so many people over the years. OH asked me if I was having a 30th birthday party last year and I said who am I going to invite?? Same for a hen party which my MOH was going to try and arrange. I'm happy with my very, very small social circle. OH doesn't understand it as he keeps in touch with everyone he's ever met in his life, haha.

What a horrible situation for you, sending some weirdy hugs your way!

I am in the south east but none of my friends live anywhere near me so I feel friendless at times. If you ever fancy meeting up then I am on the Kent/Sussex border and always happy to make new friends! I don't like running but I am sure we can find something in common

What actualy horrid people. You're better off without them and you will definately make new friends quickly when you've got that load off!

I'm in the south east, near london too. Live just outside London but work right in town.

I might venture to a meet one time if I'm feeling brave... Would be good if you did too!

We should definitely get a meet of some sort organised.

I went out last night with OH, he was supposed to be meeting people that I don't know really at all, normally I'd stay in, but I made myself go out and although it was a shambles and we didn't actually meet them, I'm glad I'm taking the steps to making the effort to find new people!