Friends and unreasonable wedding-related behaviour

This is, of course, ludicrous. I'm sure you don't need to be told but don't waste any time worrying about this.

Wow I didn't realise that boys would be as petty as girls - your friend who won't come over for your wedding just because you can't make it to his is just an idiot, sorry. There's no way my OH would miss out on a chance to a) see his friend and b) have a holiday just because someone couldn't make it to our wedding. 3 months notice is a bit ridicluous especially when you've got to make work arrangements and travel thousands of miles.

As for the other friend it sounds like she probably realised that her and her boyfriend wanted different things and until you said anything she had just ignored that little noggle at the back of her mind. Not your fault at all! Uninvite her, you don't want miserable people at your wedding ?

The only thing I've had so far was a friend asking if I was inviting partners to the wedding - she's never even actually told me she's got a boyfriend, I found out because of her FB profile. Needless to say I told her no.

Yeah, he was clear about what he meant. "If you can't be bothered to come to mine, then i'm not coming to yours" only in language I wouldn't use on a public forum. I'm calling him later, I can't believe that he is hairflipping over this when he's never done anything even remotely unreasonable before.

I wonder f his lovely lady is the one being unreasonable, I have to admit that where my OH is super laid back I am the one who tends to get wound up at small things sometimes. only sometimes mind you, I'm relatively easy going anyway myself

One of my "friends" declined the wedding invitation, wouldn't answer calls/texts. Eventually got a text saying leave me alone, "I can't stand seeing people happy"!

Nowt like a wedding to sort the wheat from the chaff!

I've lost a 24 year long friendship and a life long relationship with a close family member during the planning of our wedding. It hurt (still does sometimes, if I allow it to) but on other hand at least I know that the circle of people who will be supporting me during the rest of my planning and the actual day itself are rock solid.

I think i've been really lucky. My older sister fell out with me and refused to have anything to do with the wedding because she was jealous of my happiness when her relationship with her OH was just falling apart. We've now made up and she's going to be one of my bridesmaids, so i'm really glad for that! We still have just over 6 months to go, so who knows what will happen between now and then!

Weddings do turn some people very strange. I sent an excited text to my supposed best friend, who we were planning on asking to be MOH ,to let her know we had found a venue and set the date. Got two texts back, the first to say how lovely, the second obviously not meant for me saying 'they have set the date, just shoot me now!'. Don;t know who she was sending it to, but replied back telling her she had sent it to the wrong person, she replied she didnt want to fall out over it. I did not reply and have'nt heard from her since. This is someone I have known for years, spent most weekends with, been on holidays etc. She was also there the night I met H2B, in fact she was talking to him first and brought him over to introduce him to me. She was not interested in him but brought him over to me cos she loved his accent and promptly disapeared back onto the dancefloor. V strange. !. I would not worry too much about it, my outlook is we are all just passing through, you pick up pals along the way and some continue on with you, others take different roads. x

WTF? Sounds like a HUGE dose of jealousy going on there! Some people just can't take responsibility for thier own lives can they?

As for your other friend - he's just being petty and I'd ignore him. If you plan a wedding with 3 months notice you cna't expect visitors to drop everything and fly half way round the world. You did the right thing in giving him plenty of notice, and I'd put money on his intended blocking his attendance on your wedding.

Its unbeleivable! I fully expect some backstabbing once my invites are out...

You think you know someone, well start planning a wedding and you find out there is alot you dont actually know about a person that is close to you even family members, my wedding has unearthed this and it has surprised me to the point where if I could rewind this past year I would have certainly done things lot differently! You think people have your back and will support you and then you discover that selfishness and jealousy gets in the way which is pretty sad!

Agreed with all of this!

When we got engaged there were a few couples where, upon hearing our news, the lady would turn to the man and immediately start badgering him about why he hadn't proposed! Some was in jest of course but one friend did get quite upset over the fact that her boyfriend just won't propose. I can understand it as they're older than me and not getting any younger etc, but anyway, my point is, I think it's a fairly common reaction actually!

I agree. When we announced our engagement it led to a friend of OH's questioning the future of her relationship of 3 years (they weren't living together because neither of them would move to the other's town). When she told us 'its really because of you two that we broke up' that pretty much signalled the end of our newly-engaged euphoria.

My ex best friend, who showed her true colours before we got engaged (and by that point I had had more than enough of psychotic ways so showed her the door,) heard about our wedding plans and promptly decided to start trying for a baby. With her partner who lied to her about many secret debts. Who then slept with another of her friends. Who then got her to claim bankruptcy to write off his debts. Eeeshk. We are thinking about announcing weird things to the friend who is passing her my info just to see how she will try to one-up us. We just bought a house, so no doubt they will soon be trying to move into a castle or something.

Oh I thought I was the only one who's wedding had caused massive fall outs! To cut a VERY long story short, my OH's brother and best man, threw his dummy out the pram because my OH didn't like some of his ideas for the stag and then his gf and sister (both my BM's) got involved and took the brothers side and then all decided that they didn't want to come to the wedding in one way or another plus stopping their children from coming also.

So my OH only has his mum and an aunty coming from his family now. Apalling people, but at least we know who really cares about us.

x

A_white_izzy - over a stag party???? ?

Oh that's LOVELY! ?

'Just shoot me now!' doesn't sound like that bad a comment to be honest. Perhaps she just doesn't like weddings. I am going to my friend's wedding next month and have confided in another friend (not mutual) that I am dreading it. That's not to say that I am not happy for my friend or do not like her or value her friendship, just that I am not looking forward to her wedding ?

.

I've been engaged since Feb, haven't booked anything yet although hoping to get the venue booked later in the year when we have the deposit and already i've had.....

... one sister have a major sulk because she won't be a bridesmaid, despite many hypothetical arguements over the years because i didn't want my sisters as bridesmaids.... turns out my mother has been telling her I was only joking all this time. In fact my mother is still telling her that there's plenty of time yet and i'll probably change my mind ?.....

....My other sister is currently in a strop as I won't confirm that she will have the closest seat possible to the top table!!!!....

.....my mum has already told me i'm forbidden from having a chocolate fountain otherwise she won't be attending as she doesn't like them, oh and also at my very first wedding fayre se spent the whole time prancing round declaring she was a bride too and that we needed seperate information at EVERY booth.. mortified doesn't even cut it.. all of this even tough she's not even set a date and already knows she's getting married 100 miles away where she lives!!

O and its not just weddings that turn (admittedly already sligtly crazy) friends insane! When i discovered i was pregnant, my supposedly best friend from uni spent the 6 weeks until my scan convinced i was actually playing a prank on her. When it was confirmed i was actually pregnant she then kept asking when my boy and I were having a shotgun wedding, when the little one would be christened even tought she knows neither myself or my boy are remotely religious, telling me i was a bad mother for not planning my pregnancy better and that my little girl would be at an academic disadvantage being born in June, oh and the best one i was also an extremely bad mother for not planning on forcing my then unborn child to learn japanese/chinese before the age of 10 because "it will be easier for her and will mean she will be guaranteed a better job and more money in future as all the best jobs will be in China/\Japan"

Needless to say I don't talk to her much anymore!!

It runs deeper than that, years of sibling jealousy, but its still pathetic and the fact that they have all ostrasised us from their family and not coming to the wedding is discusting.

I disagree, I think its what people don't say to you thats worse. To know she was saying 'how lovely' to you then obviously being bitchy about your day to somebody else is awful. I had it done to me by my so called friend who also was going to be my SIL, I was fuming. Jealousy is a vile emotion.