Frightened of Flying

Valium.

My mum has a drink and then another one and Valium!

My friend's sister suffers from fear of flying and I didn't realise how bad she was until I flew to Spain with her. She got prescribed something but I'm not sure that it really helped TBH.

Would you consider going on one of those courses that airlines run? You're not too far from a couple of major airports so they might run them there?

I'm terrified of flying. I have panic attacks, hyperventilate, scream and basically make a right show of myself on a plane.

I also have frequent nightmares about flying- even though we have no holidays planned. I started taking diazepam a few years back and it worked well, I seem to have built I a tolerance to it though so now take lorazepam instead. It makes me quite drowsy and dozy,I also lose whole periods of time when I'm on it- the last holiday we came back from I missed out on 12 hours of the day we came back- not a clue what happened!

I found that along with the drugs Virgin do fear if flying videos on YouTube. I watched them on the run up to our last holiday and they really helped as they explain what the noises are, why the engines go quiet when you level out etc.

I've downloaded a fear of flying meditation app as well- no idea if it works or not but it's worth a go I reckon.

You could look at an EFT technique like tapping - you can find videos and whatnot online. I have no experience of it cos I'm not scared of flying, but I hear it can be quite effective - maybe worth a try?

My mum did a fear of flying course and takes valium

I think this is the one that mum did

http://www.flyingwithoutfear.co.uk/

Thank you, ladies.

Will check out the youtube clips - that sounds useful about the noises - and will look into a course, would hope there would be one running at either Liverpool or Manchester airport. Would love to take valium but as H dumps all the holiday admin on me (making sure we have passports, tickets, boarding pass etc) I need to be alert will look up tapping too - at this moment I'll try anything!

Http://www.manchesterairport.co.uk/manweb.nsf/Content/FearofFlying

Make him do it!

If I take diazepam I am still quite alert. The dr tells you to try them a few days before you go to see how you react to them.

If you have a fear of flying and it's him that really wants to go I would definitely make him in charge of all the holiday admin so it's one less thing for your to worry about!

I used to be petrified of flying, I was almost refused on to a plane because I was having so much of a freak out once but I'm so much better now. A combination of doing lots of breathing exercises, diazepam (i'm also still quite alert on it) has really helped and each time I do a trip, it reinforces that everything was ok. I try to make sure I have lots to do to take my mind off it while I'm on the plane - games, crosswords books etc, and leaving all of the responsible jobs (e.g, passports, tickets) helps me not latch on to panicking about anything else. Lots of music to so I can drown out any noises I might 'think' are weird. It's slowly just gone away weirdly. I'm still nervous around take off and landing but I'm fine for the rest of the flight now, including long haul.

The only time I get anxious is when I fly with my son - not entirely sure as he's a good flyer (except when his ears play up) but just the way I get

Mr Erin has a bad fear of flying, for him it's the lack of control l think that bothers him the most. I have tried to convince him to go on one of those courses but he refuses. Bad news is our honeymoon requires 4 flights and then less than a week after our honeymoon then he has to go to Bermuda with work! Some people l know with a fear of flying use alcohol and other people use benzo's.

How do you get hold of valium/whatever the other one was - just call your gp and say you're afraid of flying?

I've got 6 flights on my honeymoon and am dreading it - but wanted to be 'with it' because of all the changes so was going to try Kalms or something?

If you want to still be 'with it' I'd suggest you try taking Kalms a while before your honeymoon to see how you get on with them. I know everyone will react differently to them but Kalms always make me feel like I'm on a different planet (although they don't trip me out as much as Lorazepam does).

Yep I just went to my gp and asked for them and then when the diazepam stopped working I told them I needed something stronger so they just prescribed it to me.

Kalms/ sleeping tablets and rescue remedy were useless on me.

I am cabin crew, I have been flying for almost ten years and I see many people who suffer with a fear of flying. As many have said a lot of it is about feeling out of control so knowing the mechanics of flying and understanding the sounds around you can often help. Fear of flying courses run by airlines often focus on this. They also run you through some of the training that we do as cabin crew including evacuation procedures to help you feel more in control as well. I will often ensure that my crew are all made aware if we have a nervous flyer onboard, particularly on a long haul flight as it is reassuring for them if the crew keep a discreet eye on them and people often feel a little better when they can see that the crew have no worries at all. The pilots can often be reassuring too if you are given the chance to talk with them and perhaps even visit the cockpit on the ground. The doctors can certainly prescribe something to help keep you calm as well but I would highly recommend a fear of flying course if your phobia is more extreme!

Oh, and just to add in my ten years of flying I've never experienced safety incident - the safety record for flying is better than that of driving out on our roads in your own car!

I haven't flown in almost 15 years after some bad flights (before this I used to love flying, which is really annoying, and selfishly I used to have no patience with nervous flyers) and I know that it's statistically the safest way to travel and that all the bumps and noises are natural etc - I know it but it doesn't help me. I am very 'never say never' about flying because I travel around Europe a lot by train and boat but I would like to go further afield in time and it will take ages, although it's not impossible, to do it without flying, so know I will have to find a way around it at some point.

So I don't have much help on the tips to get over the fear (although I am following everyone else's and finding them interesting) but just wanted to say that if you weren't ready yet, it is possible to get to Iceland by ferry or cruise ship. The site I use for no-fly travel across Europe is https://www.seat61.com/Iceland.htm and there are lots of cruise tours that take in Iceland now and specific Northern Lights itineraries.

I know facing the problem is probably the healthier thing to do but there are options if you really can't face it.

Hi everyone, dreamcatchme told me about this ot post and wanted to come over see if I could help!

I'm also cabin crew, been flying for 8 years now and still love my job as much as I did when I first started.

I really feel for people with a phobia of flying, I cam completely understand why it feels so unnatural for a human to be 30,000ft above the ground and feel safe. so it's not that we think you're being irrational but for me, flying is as everyday as is any common routine, like driving, shopping, sleeping or drinking

I can fly up to 5 times a week, will regularly do 2 take offs and 2 landings in a day, and last year I travelled around the world in a month for a one off special trip with work, landing in 20 airports in 32 days all over the globe.

Travel is a blessing, flying is a gift and the world really should be experienced by everyone in their lives, it's an amazing place

Usually there is a 'bad experience' that puts people off flying. Would you mind sharing yours? We might be able to make you feel a little better

x

Thanks Goldpants! Just to explain, I highlighted the thread to Goldpants as I thought she may be able to help, I had a bit of a panic a few weeks ago because of where we're flying to and who with and everything that's been on the news recently, and Goldpant's advice on how safe it is, how many flights she and colleagues have been on without incident etc, helped to calm me, so I thought it might help others too. (I am still going to my GP to get some diazepam as back up though! ? )

Thanks everyone, I've had a look and there's a course running at Manchester airport later in the year, with a small flight included. Am plucking up the courage to book myself on it. Will also have a chat with my GP to see what medication might be suitable without making me dopey.

Thanks, goldpants for your input, also. When I was 17, we went on a family holiday to the Channel Islands. We got stuck in some really bad turbulence, really bounced around type thing. I'm hearing impaired, so certain sounds are lost on me, but I'm quite sensitive to vibrations so I could feel any change in the vibrations from the engines which was really unnerving. There was also some kind of problem during landing - sea mist, possibly, I think - the pilot came on the tannoy to apologise for the landing. Due to family circumstances, I didn't fly again for 10 years so that was my main memory of flying. Then we went to the States to visit H's mum three times which I hated, I sobbed during take off and landing. I haven't flown now for four years - we even altered our HM plans and holidayed in Scotland so I could avoid flying. It sounds very trivial written down.

I can't add any advice but didn't want to read and run- some fab advice given and it really doesn't sound trivial writing it down. Good luck

That's kinda why I asked, when it's written down like that it does look trivial, but that doesnt make the fear any less real.

I swear 9/10 times, when people are afraid, it's turbulence that is the most feared part of flying.

I mean this with all sincerity.... Turbulence does not scare me. In flight especially. We'll strap you in all the time for your safety, but I guarentee almost always the crew are sat in the galley on boxes having a cup of tea and a gossip and praising the turbulence for giving them a break from service and stopping people constantly using the toilets! In fact, the 'up and down like your on a boat' turbulence which is much less severe, is actually far worse for us crew. This means we have to strap you in, then we have to continue service, trying to pour cups of coffee whilst on a see-saw, without spilling it on peoples heads... now thats scary haha!! Meanwhile half the aircraft get up to use the toilets even though the sign is on, but as it's not too bumpy they feel they are allowed.

I'd much rather have good throw you around turbulence, that ensures everyone stays strapped in, we suspend service (to you, as a passenger, that looks serious. "oh no even the crew have to sit down". I have only put my seatbelt on and fully secured myself a small handful of times, usually we put the cart away and just perch on our seat with a brew and the latest heat magazine 31C gave us (well... she tried to throw it in our gash bin... same difference!!)

Turbulence is so normal! Once I fell to my knees because of an air pocket and we had a little dip, I was holding on to passengers knees and literally crying with laughter at the fact i couldnt physically get up because the gforce was keeping me down. I had to crawl to the galley with everyone laughing at me hahahaha, it was really funny!!

In regards to your comment on the sea mist landing, low visibility landings are common, aircarft are well equipped, and an aircraft can decide to do a 'go-around' at the last minute, basically just before landing, suddenly going back up in the air as the pilot isnt 100% happy with weather/visibilty etc. I'd say in my 8 year career, I've probably experienced about 20 go arounds, not common to a passenger, and an exciting story, but to us crew, we're pretty accustomed to them. In fact, if there is a 'go-around' we'll all moan to each other about how much later we are going to be getting into out cars at the car park (because thats our discussion on landing.... so if we're landing at 22:00, get everyone off by 22:30, bank the money and be out of the crew room by 22:45 in our car for 23:00!!) When we feel the engines and realise we are going back up, we go.... no! In our car for 23:15!! haha!!

We all take safety very seriously and are incredibly well trained for the 'worst case' scenario - but we all hope to never put this into practice. We do become blase at work because it's human to be relaxed when you do the same thing everyday. It's mad to think while someone like yourself will be sat there on takeoff or landing sobbing your heart out in fear, we are strapped in down the back having a cup of tea on take off and discussing mark wright and michelle keegans relationship, or juggling a calculator, computer and £3,000 worth of takings on our knees while we come into land and securing ourselves right before the wheels hit the runway!

It's not the 'official' thing we should be doing, we are technically supposed to be doing a '30 second review' taking a minute to think, what would I do/say if the worst were to happen but in reality we are listing off to each other what we are having for dinner when we get home. This isnt to say you arent safe in our presence, we are so well-trained that we could switch into training mode faster than lightening, but we know the chances of 'the worst' happening are as likely as :

* getting killed by a flying champagne cork

* getting killed by a donkey.

These are facts!!

think how many times you've been driving in your car and for whatever reason have 'nearly' been in an accident, we've all been there, many times. Some have even lived through it. Does it put you off getting behind the wheel to pop to asda for a bottle of wine to go with your dinner on the friday night?? We dont think twice about it.

I know it's so easy to say it, but it really is true. The fact is there are millions of aircraft in the air every day, landing one after the other at all the airports around the world without incident. Very rarely, the media gets hold of a story of something happening, imagine if the Mirror reported every car accident in the same way.

I hole this hasnt come across condescending, I just like to put a different perspective on it

I hope you to the course in manchester, the world truly is an amazing place and I'd hate for you to miss out!! Any other questions please just ask xxxxxx

This is all really interesting and definitely doesn't come across condescending - I understand if you do something a lot it becomes normal to you and yet it seems so alien and scary to others. I have friends who are scared of lifts or going on the underground and these are things that I do all the time and am not bothered by so I do get it but the trouble is that as my fear is irrational, no amount of reassurance makes any difference. I know that it is statistically the safest way to travel but it doesn't stop my mind conjuring up images of crashes and hijacks etc.

Talking of the turbulence - funnily enough when I first started using ferries and cruise ships more, as a way to go abroad without flying, I never used to like the ship's motion either and every time I felt it move I would be scared. However I did get my head around the fact that on a ship you are actually moving through the sea and it is natural to feel the motion just like you can feel it in a car or on a bus and now that doesn't scare me anymore. Yet when I think back to turbulence and air pockets on flights it still fills me with dread even though I know there is a rational reason for it happening.

My OH is happy to fly but coincidentally his mum and several family members also avoid flying so he is used to it and hasn't forced the issue with me. Instead we are inventive with other ways of getting around. But I do see it would be easier just to face my fear and perhaps some day I will try one of the courses you all mention.

Thanks goldpants, it's so silly because I know all of the facts and how safe flying is but it's a totally irrational fear, total terror the whole time I'm on a plane. Good cabin crew make a diffirence though it's true, I've had some lovely ones who have really put me at ease and some rat have been dismissive or downright laughing at me when I've been sobbing the whole flight.

As a question though- are cabin crew trained to make you talk about routine things? Readon I ask is that two of the times I've had good experiences with cabin crew is when they have made me sit in the crewbit at the back of the plane and asked me lots of questions about my job. So when I was a store manager they were asking me to describe my morning routine to them in great detail- wondered if it's some sort of distraction technique as it's happened to me twice now.

Ha ha, Goldpants love your run down on the everyday reality of being crew I landed yesterday into heathrow and was counting it out exactly what time I would be into my car and through my front door for a nice glass of vino and a scour of wedding dresses on the internet! Always get lots of time to work it out while sat in the hold over LHR. Turbulence doesn't worry me at all either, I actually find it quite nice, especially on breaks in the crew bunks as it feels like your being rocked to sleep!

As crew we aren't really taught how to deal with frightened passengers so distraction is more of a self learnt technique. We are however employed for a number of skills and one of those that is most important is the ability to relate to people. Most cabin crew are caring, sociable type of people. We like to look after people, please them and keep them happy so comforting someone when they are distressed comes naturally to most of us (we hope!). Don't be afraid to tell us when you board that you are a nervous flyer as we would rather know than be wondering why you are crying and looking pale as a ghost! We are there to look after you after all

Yeah like Siab says we are your onboard, doctor, firefighter, waitress, police, childminder, carer, holiday rep, in flight entertainment, and therapist. We've seen and experienced things you wouldnt believe on board (not in a aircraft issue way, in a THE GREAT BRITISH PUBLIC ARE BONKERS way!!)

The 'bad exoeriences' you've had with cabin crew are the people who really shouldnt be in the job!!

And Siab I'm glad you're not doing your 30 second review either worried I was going to get reported to CAA haha xxxxx