FURIOUS!!!!

I cannot believe how rude some people are!!

More than fair compromise.

I think with all the problems you have had with the FG's Mother I would have uninvited her by now!

Stick to your Guns & tell her she is wearing what you have decided.

I`m not surprised you`re furious-that is such a rude thing to do. It`s your wedding, not FGs mum`s!! Is she a relative?

Is this not the first time then? [OCCASIONAL LURKER ICON REQ]

Good grief, tell her she wears your choice and is a FG or doesn't and isn't.

I think you're being very reasonable! I wouldn't have compromised in the slightest! I don't have a flower girl but my mini BM loved her dress. However, if she hadn't liked it there is no way her mum (my aunt) would have done that!

good grief, has this not been sorted yet?

i would cull?

There is no way i would accecpt what she has done , ok she didn't like it , but to go & buy another without your consent , is she aware this isn't her wedding.

I would stand my ground and say that the dress you have chosen is the dress you want the FG to wear. Simple!

Jeez. Some people are so unreasonable. Little girls look pretty in any dress, why on earth would she have beef with your dress? Even if she did, she has no grounds for changing it. You're being reasonable, stand your ground!

Sorry but this is your wedding. Its not down to her to decide what the FG wears. No matter if it is her daughter its your day you decide what she wears.

M
XX

hey?

yep, i would email her back and say something like "the dresses that you had picked out matched the other bridesmaids, obviously you need to see if this new dress matches, could she send a picture so you can see, in an ideal situation you would need to see it up against your other bridesmaid dresses" (especially if you've got colours to match).

i would insist she send it down so i could see for myself but it depends on time. It'll show her how awkward she has made it for you

annie

What is it with mothers of FGs? It reminds me of the pushy mums in those American beauty pagents! How rude!

I would definately stick to your guns on this. I think you are being very reasonable in wanting to see the other dress first.

I think you are being very reasonable and more than fair!

What does it matter to her what her daughter wears? Its only for one bloomin' day!

If it was me I'd have told her where to stick her dress. Failing that, if an 'accident' was to occur with the dress she has chosen on the morning of the wedding.......................

Like everyone else says, she is being completely unreasonable in choosing a dress herself. Its your wedding after all.

FG's mum is H2B's SIL. He doesn't understand why she's doing this.

He called me in lunch break and said he doesn't want his niece to be a flower girl anymore. So tonight we're going to talk about it and call them with our decision. H2B is so sweet. Says that 3 weeks before the wedding I don't need this kind of stress, so he wants to settle it tonight!

Bless him, sounds like you have a really supportive H2B. Hope you manage to get things sorted.

I would have been furious myself, To go out and buy another dress just because she didnt like it is rude!!

Stick by your decision and if she carries on then I would not have her as flowergirl at all.

It great that your H2B is so supportive of you

Blimey, what a bl**dy nightmare. good job you have a half decent h2b.

think you have been more than reasonable in offering the compromise (i'm not sure i would have done). shame this woman doesn't realise she is just spoiling it for her own daughter.

seconded.....i cant believe some people.....grrrrrr

good luck

linda x

ps....dont forget to send me some piccies eh

What a nightmare...she needs to realise its YOUR wedding, and that she had no right to do this!!

At least your H2B is on your side xx

Some people are rude. Keep us posted

How rude! Hope you manage to get things sorted

x

I think he needs to tell his sister straight, it is your day & she wears what you have chosen for her or you don't have her.

What a nightmare, at least you H2B is understanding. Think I'd go for the it's that dress or she's no longer a FG approach.

I would tell her that if she insists on FG wearing her own dress then you dont want her to be in the wedding pics as a FG. So thats no flowers etc.tell her its up to her if she wants to bring her to the wedding wearing a pretty dress, but if its not the right one then, Its'll be her fault her daughter will be dissapointed.

why should you ahve to compromise?????????? its YOUR wedding,

if i were you i would have said that the dress has been picked to go with the other FG dresses and either wears it or she can't be a FG, its not up to her mum to like the dress or not, i do think it would be a shame if she didn't get to be a FG tho as i'm assuming she's only small and will prob find it hard to understand why she isn't FG anymore, its her mums problem not yours, i think you need to be firm with her and tell her she'll do what you say or come as a normal guest

keep us informed

Sarah, you're a genius

AN UPDATE!

So, after a big row last night we got some pics. She didn't want to send me any saying it didn't matter. WTF?!

Opened the file with a very open mind and I hated it. It's awful and old fashioned. H2B even said:'My niece is NOT wearing that.'
My bridesmaids all agreed (I didn't tell them which dress I had bought).

We called them to tell them our thoughts and they would think about it...

What do they have to think about? For us it's very obvious: my dress or no FG.

I'll keep you posted.

Thx girls for the support!

Just caught up with this post - any news since this morning Beautiful Orchid? I really hope that your FG's mum can see that its not about what SHE wants her daughter to wear, its about you, your husband 2 be and her daughter - imagine 3 wks before being told "you can't be a flowergirl after all (insert name here) because your mum is being a pain in the arse".

I know my neice who was my flower girl would have been devastated. Even at the age of 7 she knew the importance of it and told all her friends about it and was so excited (even tho' on the day she froze like a rabbit in the headlights!)

We are really trying to let her see that she is ruining the day for noone else but her own daughter. But right now all she's interested in is winning the battle, I'm afraid. How do you handle something like that? Can anyone advise?

This afternoon I got a mail in which she was trying to get me on a guilt trip. Saying:

R. has to wear the dress, not you.
R. has been through enough this month, breaking her arm. (btw, it's not even broken!)
You can phone her and break her heart if you don't want her to be a FG anymore.

I felt like giving up. Not because the guilt trip worked, but because I'm getting so tired. But then my mum reminded me of how ugly I think the dress is, and that I would resent my pictures if I give them their way.

Anyone want to go over to smack the woman? That would make me feel so much better!

Me!!! I will go n her!!!

Ooo btw do you wanna post pics of the dresses for us to gawp look at? ?

And as to the guilt trip, its her mother that is causing all this not you. You bought a dress to match the other FG and its her mothers fault if your niece's heart get broken cos her mum wont back down.

Stick by yours n OH's decision and dont be guilt tripped into giving in, You have the support of people on here, your OH and mum so dont back out now!!!

Don't give in on this - I know it must be hard but your Mum is right about the pictures. Imagine looking at your wedding pics in a year, 5 years, 20 years time and just thinking 'I hate that dress!'

It's emotional blackmail for her to say you would have to tell the FG too!