Getting Stressed About Table Plans

Personally I've always had the approach that if other people have "issues" with each other, but not us, then if they can't put them aside for one day for the sake of someone else's big day then they aren't welcome to attend as they shouldn't be putting their needs first.

I do understand the difficulty of 'family politics' and sadly weddings do bring out the worst in many people, particularly with things like who sits where, especially if there's a thought of certain tables being "more important" than others.

Have you considered a 'sweetheart table' of just the two of you (plus your daughter perhaps) and let each of the 3 sets of parents host a table each? Your guests then just end up sitting with family, and really it's only for the wedding breakfast meal as during the evening people will mingle, dance or whatever anyway.

I think AJ's idea is spot-on. That's what I'd do anyway.

WHS

I think if i was in your situation i'd do what AJ suggested !

I don't see why you can't split your dad and his wife up for the meal. It's only for a couple of hours! We're splitting up my bridesmaid (H2B's sister) and her other half during the meal as I want her on the top table... we spoke to him about it and he said that essentially he's happy to man up and deal with it! He's not going to die, and they can come and join our first dance with us together.

Thanks for all the suggestions, I think a "sweetheart" table with my daughter could be a good solution. ?

I know it's probably daft to feel so strongly that I can't split up my dad and his wife (especially as I've got no reservations about doing the same to my chief bridesmaid and her husband!) but my relationship with them is a bit fragile and I just don't want to risk upsetting them.

I would have just split them up as well, if you're not putting other peoples partners on the top table then I'm sure they'd understand its only the closet people on there, people will get to know them on the table. Its only for a few hours. My OHs mum's fiance will not be on the top table, nor will best man or bridesmaids partners. I think if she was practically a Mum to you or had been a very longstanding wife it could be a bit different but I'm not getting that feeling from you in your rant lol.

I can see why you're stressed. I've only been split up from my husband once at a wedding and I hated every second of it. I knew no one and although we made polite conversation through out the meal, it was really not an enjoyable few hours.

Is your venue suited to doing 1 huge u shaped table? For less than 30 guests I would imagine a big U shape could be doable and take the pressure of the traditional top table lark.

Failing that, I'd have both of your parents and partners on the top table.

Good luck x

Could you get your sets of parents to each 'host' a table and then have the rest of the BMs on top table with you and your daughter?

Thanks for all the suggestions, I really thought I had it cracked last night but apparently not. Back to the drawing board!