Gift lists, money poems and more...

We had a lovely money poem! I sent out the invited before joining this site, everyone on here seems to hate them but all my friends and family made comments that the poem was lovely and a good idea because they were stuck on what to get us! I personally wouldnt dream of attending a wedding without a gift even if i was a evening guest so a poem would help me out a lot!

Most people on here hate money poems.

but personally as a wedding guest I would prefer a couple to tell me what they would like/If they would prefer money.

We put the following poem in our invites

'If you were thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of money towards our dream home would really make our day'. I've had good comments on that poem so far!

Yes I would prefer to know what to get or not to get too

Can you please share your poem? I just can't find any that I'm happy with but most of them talk about a honeymoon x

Thank you MrsB88... simple yet says what it needs to say! I unfortunately have already had the invites printed but I might pop it on the 'additional info' sheet I'm sending out.

Most people are savvy enough not to buy toasters for a b&g anymore.

If people say nothing in their invites I'd just give money or a generic sort of voucher like John lewis.

We put nothing at all about gifts in our invites and received mostly money and a couple of lovely gifts. We were living with my FIL when we got married and still no one bought us towels or toasters!

We used a money poem in our invites, and have only had positive comments from those invited, but I guess that doesn't mean they're not all secretly seething at being asked for money! ?

Thank you everyone, I think we are going to go along the lines of:

The most important gift to us is that you are there to share our day. But if you are thinking of giving a gift to help us on our way, a gift of money towards our dream home would really make our day.

And I'm just going to pop it on the additional info sheet I'm sending out with the invites so it's there if you read it but not full on!

Perfect sounds lovely!

The best way to get money out of me is not to mention gifts or money.

A poem will get you a toaster. (I may or may not be joking).

I thought it was clear that because we didn't mention gifts or money or gift lists, that money would probably fgo over well but we have been getting questions from the OH's relatives via my FMIL what we'd like. I cringed on the inside even just telling her but we want to buy a new sofa so money is really best for that.

I'm from Germany, I think there money gifts are much more common, often people make the effort to fold up notes to make a nice picture etc, e.g. like this:

Exactly the same for us.

We also had a poem:

For a a couple of years we’ve lived in sin,

we have a toaster, a kettle and a stainless steel bin,

saucepans and towels we have many

corkscrews and flannels we don’t need any,

we just want you with us to celebrate our day,

but if you insist on a gift anyway,

what we’d really like is a gift of money,

we hope you don’t think we’re being funny!

We’ll put it all together and buy something that’s best,

as a reminder of our day and our wonderful guests!

It seems to have been received well by guests.

We've put a polite note in saying that if they want to get us a gift then a donation towards our honeymoon would be appreciated. We've already had a lot of money giving to us towards it so people obviously weren't offended. We received a wedding invitation on Saturday with a money poem in, I thought it was lovely.

We had this ^^^, no one has mentioned much about it, so i think they dont mind.

Most of the weddings I've been to, the bride and groom have put in their invitations that they'd appreciate money as they're going on honeymoon/buying a house/whatever. I don't find it offensive at all, as I'd much rather know exactly what kind of gift would make them most happy than have to guess, and I've never heard anyone say that they thought anything at all about it. To be honest I think if you make a poem about it, it puts more emphasis on it and makes it more awkward than if you just say you prefer money over gifts (to be clear, I dont't think two sentences that rhyme count as a poem... ?). But then I'm not British so I may still be understimating people's sensitivity on the subject...!

Its a tricky one this. Personally I would rather know what bride and groom want. Theres another thread saying they hate it when evening guests are asked for money. I've asked what a couple wanted when invited as an evening guest before though? Surely they aren't demanding money really? More of a 'is you are generous enough to want to give us a gift the thing we'd appreciate most is contributions towards x'? Why is that offensive? Everyone has the option to not get anything?

We didn't put anything on the invitations as didn't want to ask for gifts, but have set up an Amazon wedding list incase anyone asked - so far only 2 people have.

Thanks everyone. We aren't asking for anything, just mentioning that if you did want to get us something then money to furnish our new home would be appreciated. It's not going on the invites either, it'll be tucked away in the 'additional info' sheet I've put together detailing hotels etc.

Or those that do object are too polite to say so... I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to tell someone I cringed at their poem! Fortunately none of my friends have challenged us with one yet.

I like this post from Offbeat Bride, on the subject of gift registries: https://offbeatwed.com/registry-etiquette/

Personally, I don't see the difference between giving someone money or giving them a physical gift. To me, the point of giving is to give someone something that they would like, which is useful to them. Considering whether it's something I would want to give is, to me, contrary to the point of giving (obviously up to a point - I'd draw the line at something illegal or which does harm to other people on utilitarian grounds).

We're going to ask for money. We have a small house, which is already overflowing (OH has a lot of DIY hobbies, and tends to hoard things because "they might be useful"). When I married my ex, we were given crystal drinks sets which we were never going to use (and who needs THREE full sets of crystal glassware?!), random photoframes which were never going to go on display because they didn't fit with any of our decor, and other bits which just ended up in the loft. With my OH, we simply don't have room for stuff that isn't going to be used. Gifts of money are traditional in Chinese weddings anyway, so we're just going to put a note in invitations asking for it as a nod to OH's culture.

For those who don't want to just give money, I'm going to ask the company we're arranging our honeymoon through if it would be possible to set up a honeyfund registry, and keep a few ideas in reserve for the few people who are attending our wedding who I know will want to give us "something to wrap up" (i.e. my grandparents).

We won't be using a money poem, though. Those things make me cringe, mostly because they generally just aren't very good.