GIfts

Could you maybe put it on a website or facebook or something so everyone can see the updated version? But choose someone to be in charge of updating

I will have a serious talk with my sis about how IT savvy she is....!

This sounds like a logisitcal nightmare! Your sister will send the spreadsheet out, everyone will pop off to the shops to buy you gifts, they will email your sister to say what they have bought and oops they've all bought the same thing!

If you are going to do gift list you really need something that updates real time to avoid duplications. I totally understand what you are trying to do but I just don't think this is practical. We have our list with a department store and they have such a wide range of stuff you can easily cater for everyone's budget.

She will only send it to those that ask for it, as opposed to a mass mail, and many won't bother asking for it I imagine. Plus some will buy early and some will go last minute. I definitely can't (won't) use a department store. Honestly, I have some friends who are very broke and will be embarrassed - and the day already 'costs' (taxis and drinks).

Maybe I need to re-think....

Hi Kentish Gal,

I agree with you - I simply can't bring myself to ask for money/ vouchers even though it is pretty much 'the done thing'. A lot of people are donating their time and skills into our wedding, so I can't even dream of asking for a gift from them.

My OH's brother set up an account where people could donate to the honeymoon - but it had to be in 2 weeks before the wedding, and I just found this really didn't sit right with me. It all felt so cold and impersonal (to ME - I know people don't mind this generally)

I like the idea of people being able to choose the things you want from wherever they want to - most people say *we've picked some budget items* but a can opener from John Lewis is not really a budget item in my book (when I can get one in poundland) but I can see the problems with it as pointed out above

We've talked about it lots and decided that those who want to buy us something will, and those who don't won't, and this is OK. We both love buying and receiving presents, and feel that (for us) dictating what we expect people to buy takes the fun out of presents. I know people have a wedding list to 'make it easier' for people, but you wouldn't generally do this for other occasions - you'd just gratefully accept whatever someone chose for you. And I know people don't want to end up with 19 toasters, but in this day and age its highly unlikely your relatives will think you don't have a toaster, so it's not a likely situation to happen!

Perhaps you can just trust your guests to buy or make you something they want to and see what you end up with - a bit of pot luck You can always nip down poundland for your egg cups if nobody gets you any I think we are going to put on our website 'second-hand, pre-loved and homemade gifts very welcome*. I had a second hand sewing machine for my 30th from OHs family and it was the best gift ever.

We are I a similar position. When people have asked I've given tailored reply to what they can afford or see as appropriate. My parents are giving us a canteen of 'best' cutlery, grandparents a nice vase, other people - just said vouchers/charity donation etc and just we will be thankful for any gift. I intend to thank everyone, but if someone gives vouchers or money, I will tell them how it is spent. So far the only thing I want is a really nice casserole dish so that will be first thing we get! We may also get some 'best' china, but will do that after Christmas maybe. I'd rather people contributed to something as a whole than just bought some saucers, or a milk jug or side plates or something random!

Why don't you just put nothing and have no list?

Then if people ask, reiterate that you really don't need anything but if they would like to get you something you would love a surprise?

Yes

i remember a quote from another thread that I want to use

"the only present we'd truly appreciate is your presence on the day" if anyone chooses to buy a gift or get vouchers it's up to them and there's no embarrassment for people who cant afford it!

Isn't this how gift lists used to work in the 'old days''? Before mobiles and Internet were invented? I think this is what my friend had when she got married in 1998 and her mum just had a paper list for her. I suppose it depends how many guests you have but I think it's a really nice idea. I've been married almost ten years and I still think of the people that bought me the particular item when I'm using it.

There must be a free website that includes a guest list or even something where u can somehow share a Spreadsheet online so people can put their name against items before buying? I'm sure I've seen a spreadsheet on yahoo or google that people can sign into?

The only other thing is whether your sister emails/sends the list out and then people reply to all / phone saying what they bought?

We're just going to be rude and say we don't expect a gift but if they wish to give a gift please give money for us to spend on our house / honeymoon (worded more nicely!). We are now down to expensive items that we need such as food mixer, rugs, furniture which are too expensive to ask any one person for and from speaking to family they would prefer to give money than to just buy something that may not be useful.

Gift list not guest list :s

We used the Amazon wedding wish list but you can only put stuff on those from Amazon. The regular none wedding Amazon wish list does have the option to add things from any site and has the option to click 'buy from elsewhere' then people can buy off the list in the highstreet and still update the list themselves. Hope that helps/ makes sense x

My parents ran a gift list for us that sounds similar to what you had. It was kept in public on our wedding website (which was really only a tarted-up blogspot site) and people contacted them when they bought something so it could be crossed off the list. We made it very clear that we didn't expect gifts, and also that the list was not rigid and if anyone had another idea for a nice surprise, we were equally happy with that.

We got most of the things on the list, as well as a range of really lovely other non-listed gifts.