Guess what i am doing?

Eating potnoodle?

No ?

Shopping online for Next clothes?

Washing your towels for the 4th time this week?

Turning your loo roll to over to be hanging down, rather than hanging over?

Eating a Frey Bentos pie?

No, none of those, Peaches.

Keep guessing ?

Waxing your muff into a heart shape and dying it pink? was that someone on here, or am i imagining it?

Have you opened the packet of arse beads?

Washing your bras?

mis-using apostrophes?

Loving satin?

Making pancakes from a pancake packet mix?

Setting out a lovely array of guest towels in your bathroom to be admired and NOT USED!

Yes, Mr Clairy is pulling them out as I type ?

(the answer is no)

And no to all of the above too

Nope, any more guesses or shall I spill the beans?

? @ the arse beads

Are you eating crispy pancakes? Chocolate fountain?

Nooooooo, she's having a sunbed followed by colonic irrigation!

Well guessing how long it's taking you to come back and tell us, I'm hazarding a guess at "gentle, tender sex"

Clairy, I missed the update about your H's speshul gift to you - did he present them to you?? And how? ?

I am making a Christmas present - in early May. Do I win a prize? ?

Is it a lovely necklace for your MIL fashioned out of the bum beads? Just make sure you wash them first missus. Do you think they're dishwasher safe?

? that's a great idea - very frugal. I am minded of Jesus' cucumber.

Flump - he didn't say anything, so I haad to ask him, curiosity got the better of me. Turns out they were a free gift from some gentleman's mail order company when he spent over a certain amount (on things for individual consumption, presumably) ? He was v red faced, and I took the piss mercilessly. The beads remain in the packet untouched (although I may have muttered 'if those ever come near my arse then it's a sacking offence' so I think he's been warned off ?)

Oh bless him....! free bum beads, fabulous gift ?

Oh bless him....! free bum beads, fabulous gift ?

What was he buying to qualify for the free arse beads is what I want to know?

Sorry Clairy but no, I started my Christmas knitting over a month ago ?