Guest List Conundrums

Write a list putting your guests in order of priority - so start with those who have to be there, move on to those you would like to be there and finish up with those who you feel should be there but won't come and those you don't really want there but feel you should invite. Then invite the first 120 on your list and skip the rest or invite them to the evening only. A little note saying that you would have liked to invite them to the whole day but were limited to numbers should cover any upset x

I wouldn't worry about inviting the cousins you never see, they probably won't even expect to be invited. I'm not inviting any of my cousins to the day.

Thank you that is brilliant advice! The 120 guest limit is for the evening too unfortunately as the venue simply won't fit more than that lol, but still a great way of looking at it! Don't suppose you have any advice on how to tell people "there's no room for you" too? Lol

They will all expect to be invited unfortunately as wedding (or big birthdays) are the only time we usually all get together.

My OH and I both come from huge families so even though we are looking for a big venue this will still be an issue. We are going to invite the cousins we have contact with and not those we don't. This will mean that some will receive invites when their siblings don't. Tough. I'm not worried about upsetting people i never see. There are first cousins who won't be invited and third cousins that will be. The same goes for aunts and uncles.

Children will be tricky. There are soooooo many. We will invite our nieces and nephews because we see them. Ilove kids and would like to invite them all but short of hiring wembly arena it won't be possible. I know my family and friends will understand this.

In short I'm saying Invite the people who matter and don't worry about the people who don't.

Hi Fiffle,

It sounds like you already know who won't be able to be invited.

I was in a very similar position cutting down my invites to 100 (mum wasn't one of 10 though...that is a huuge family!!) I also have family members that RSVP'd yes to other weddings then failed to turn up, I have not invited them because of this, it would be terrible to not invite others and run the risk of them not turning up again.

Have you spoken to your parents about the problem? They know your family dynamics much better than anyone on here and could give some useful tips? I also felt when I showed them who I was inviting and who I couldn't fit in they agreed and it made me feel much better about it.

Does your venue allow for many more evening guests? Many people are understanding and wouldn't mind an evening only invite.

Celticurl, I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with a big family, that bit about Wembley arena did make me giggle! haha. And you are absolutely right. Also glad I'm not the only one who simply cannot invite cousins kids. I've just spoken one of my cousins today and asked if she would be offended if i didn't invite her kids and her reply was "No, not at all. It'll be nice to be able to enjoy myself without running around after them!" So that was a relief! Phew! hahaha

Married with love; I have spoken to my parents and they both understand the situation thankfully. Unfortunately the venue doesn't allow for more evening guests either, it's just too small a space. I know I could have avoided all this if I'd hired out a huge hall instead, but I didn't want to compromise my dream wedding for the sake of being to invite the masses (as selfish as that may sound) :\

How about inviting everyone to a picnic in a big public park to celebrate with you a few weeks after the wedding and honeymoon? A note along the lines of "The newly married Mr and Mrs Fiffle invite you to celebrate their marriage with a family reunion on (date) at (place). Bring a picnic!" would only require you to turn up with a picnic for yourselves and you wouldn't have to worry about RSVPs.

That's a great idea!