Guest list dilemma

Personally I think it should be your day your way. A very common phrase on this site.

One way of doing it would be to apply a time limit on contact. For example I have not invited my half brother and sister because we don't have the funds for more people and I haven't seen / spoken to them in over 5 years. I wouldn't invite someone just because convention dictated, I have invited people who have been involved in our lives and have cared about us.

As for partners / plus ones, I've only included those who I know. It might seem a little harsh but think if this was an ordinary party or something and someone random came and joined you, how you would feel about paying for them when the bill came?

HTH

We've only invited those couples who have been together for some time, or whom we've both met - we just don't have the budget (or space!) to give everyone a plus one as it soon adds up at an average £40-50 per head! Luckily, most of our friends and family are quite 'settled' and for those who are a bit flighty relationships-wise - I doubt we'll get a 100% take up on our invitations, so if such and such asks to bring their new flame along we can always agree to that later, depending on numbers etc. Either that, or they will just have to come to the evening part!

We decided to only invite partners who were married to / living with / had been together for ages with our guests. I don't really want someone at my wedding who isn't known by me nor by H2B. We have invited my adult cousins (and their children (and their children)) to the evening do only cos there's a lot of them, and if I had all of them at my wedding, H2B couldn't have any of his family there! We booked the venue that we loved (and could afford), and fitted the guest list around the package they offered. H2B and I have roughly equal numbers of family each, but his cousins have been invited all day because he only has one aunt and uncle coming, where I have four!

I have got a big family with cousins stretching across generations. I am in the youngest 10 % and, naturally, am closer to those similar to my age. We are also spread across the world and, again naturally, I am closer to those who live in the UK/Ireland. So, my Mum wanted "come one come all" and I refused. For example, I am excluding one of three girls who I simply haven't seen since a family funeral 15 years ago; her two sisters are invited as they are mates as well as cousins. I struggled with the lack of consistency but made peace with my Mum about it. (Ultimately, I refused to invite anyone who hadn't attended my Nanny's funeral a couple of years back). I will also only invite partners I know and like, not those I have never met, regardless of how long they have been together.