Guest list dilemna... please help

I think it's difficult not to have one rule on it - e.g. my friend had a rule of "if I've met them they can come!" I think if she's your best friend, unfortunately, you're just going to have to suck it up if she's been with him that long - 1.5 years is quite a while...

The other option would be if you said "not inviting OH's unless you're married" - but then that will have to be a universal rule, and tbh, if I was her I'd take it badly.

You might be better off talking to her and saying "as you're going to be on the top-table, do you think xx would enjoy it, or might it be better if he just comes along in the evening - we were a bit worried he'll be left on his own and doesn't really know anyone else". However, if she says he'll be fine...then I don't think you're left with much choice!

To be honest i think you are being a bit mean.

A year and a half is a long time and if i were her i would assume my partner is invited aswel.

I think with regards to partners it should be all or nothing! You either invite everyones partners or noones.

i think its a bit unfair to peonalise the people who are not engaged or married!

How would you feel if it were the other way round and your best mate was getting married but she only invited you and not your partner?!

Tough decision for you. My personal view is that people come as a pair and wouldn't think twice of inviting partners even if i've not met them.

One thing I would say is think about it if the roles were reveresed... how would you feel?

Thanks so much for replying! You see we don't think that we should have to 'suck it up' lol, it's our wedding, and we are paying for it. We can't have one rule for her and another for other friends...Ahhhhh!

I totally agree with Shoegal.

No one elses OH would be invited unless we were firends with them, and as I said....she goes for at least 2 years with each guy then gets bored ha

Hhmmm this is one of these tricky ones.

I think if you are inviting some peoples boyfriends then that has to go across the board for all guests otherwise some people are going to get upset. If your BM is still seeing this guy come your wedding and, as you say, they'll have been together a year and a half then I think thats a long time in a relationship and I would be a bit upset if I was the BM and my BF wasn't invited.

I do understand what you are saying about wanting to only invite people you like and enjoy spending time though

I agree completely.

Is not inviting him worth the risk of falling out with your best friend?

On the flip side, I have a very close friend who I don't, unfortunately get to see very often (she has just got back from working in Singapore for a year for example!). When I mentioned to her that she was invited to the day but that budget restrictions meant her OH would be invited to the evening she totally understood. I have only met him the once and am not likely to again before the wedding. They will have been together for about 3 years by the time the wedding comes around. (I think she doesn't mind though because they are very independent and she sees it as a good chance to have time with the girls!)

Bit different as your BM is presuming her OH is invited but maybe if you explained then she would understand?

If my best mate didnt know my OH and we weren't married then I would totally understand. And by no means am I being mean wanting to create the perfect day

H2B and I were talking about this the other day as we potentially have loads of people coming who might want to bring a guest. I think if it's just one or two extra people, then it's worth inviting them along, especially if they are partners of people who are close to you. But if you have loads of guests who have partners then it can quickly have a huge effect on numbers and cost.

wanting to create the perfect day is fine but not inviting your best mates long term boyfriend IS a bit mean IMO

Hi,

We had a similar problem, and we decided that anyone who was single or was in a new relationship would not be "plus oned". I would say 18 months is a long enough for them to be considered a proper couple though!!

I agree with another poster who said that you should hint to your friend that he would be all alone during the day and would prob enjoy the reception a lot more!

Good luck!!!

x