Guests and Plus-Ones

I would maybe wait and if you get a couple of 'cant make its's' then you can bump the plus ones up to all day. x

Ooh tough one, and I think it's a personal decision. How would you feel if you received a full invite from one of them but not a full invite for your OH? I'd use your answer to decide what to do.

J x

Being honest, if I was a guest who was engaged and was told there was no room for my partner at your full wedding I would feel quite offended. I think it's different if a guest just starts casually seeing someone a few months before - then I would have no problem being told to bring him only to the evening do. But if it is a serious relationship such as engagement then you may risk hurting a few of your guests.

If you haven't got th space in the venue then they simply can't come, it will make you look very nice and accommodating if you invite them to the ceremony and/or evening do but don't do it if you really don't want to. It is a nice touch though. I have not been invited to my OH's friend's wedding even though we have been together 2.5 years and will be married AND are inviting the buggers to our wedding, this seems off to me but in your situation it's a bit different.

Ooh tricky, I was all ready for a generic question about plus ones... if they had just got a BF/GF since you wrote the list then yes I'd go with ceremony/eve..it's the engaged and getting/being married bit that makes it more complicated.

Having said that, do they know you wrote your list already, how close are you? Do you know these new OH's yourself? Can you speak to them and explain that your numbers are already fixed and you can't increase but they would be very welcome to ceremony and evening, and if there are any dropouts for the meal then you'd be delighted for them to join for that as well - just be careful with how you do that though, if there are say 3 of them and you get 2 dropouts, how do you choose which 2 can now come to meal?

I think the issue here is that the OP doesn't really have a choice with what to do. Her venue won't hold any more.

I may be in the minority here, but if a good friend of mine talked to me and explained the situation, I would be more than happy to attend the wedding without my H as long as I knew other people at the wedding.

Friendship means more to me than being apart from my husband for a few hours.

OMG we are in exactly the same boat as you (although non of ours have announced they are getting married yet) but wouldn't be surprised as many of our 'single' friends are no longer single and some even moved in with their OH's.

Its very complicated because i feel if you invite one friends BF you need to invite them all...i think we will leave it along the lines of "due to the size of the venue we are unable to accommodate your OH's during the meal and ceremony however we would be delighted if they could join us in the evening.

I personally would not feel comfortable inviting people just to the ceremony and then the eve as our day is all in the one venue and i would just envisage the ceremony and drinks reception finishing and people lingering into the breakfast room it would just make me feel awful not having a space for them.....i guess if you had ceremony/breakfast/evening doo in different venues you would not have this issue.

Totally agree kharv - so not the minority!

I really don't see any problem at all with just inviting them for the evening. I went to an evening reception yesterday and my OH went to the whole day and we've done a similar thing with our list; if we don't know the OH of the person very well then we've either just invited them to the evening or not at all.

Thanks for all the replies ladies!

Fortunately we have had another look at the list and realised that there were three people on there who are not coming now (a mate has decided to leave his 3 kids at home!) so we can now invite these more recent plus ones to the whole thing - phew. For anyone who gets a partner from now on it will just be the ceremony and the night do only! (we are having a church wedding so numbers are reasonably unlimited, plus lots of my friends are church-goers so they would rather come to that than a night do).

Crisis averted!!

Thanks!

I just worked out that for every guest we invited, there would be a plus one..solves loads of issues but obviously we had the budget to do that.

It's a tough one if you havent met them but I think if people are in couples its rude not to invite the other half.

I was invited to weddings of people i have never met when I went out with an ex so would do the same thing.

That's what we did , mostly because it's much more expensive travelling as a single than as a couple and we live miles away from most of our friends and families. I'd accept going to a wedding about an hour or so away without my OH, but once it gets that bit further and you really need to stay it starts getting silly money. It's also far easier to drive a long way on the day if there's two of you to share the driving or keep the driver company on the way home. Yes, I might well know other people at the wedding (so I'll be fine when I get there) but getting there is the issue - and it's not like many wedding venues have much in the way of single rooms!