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Beginner July 2016

Guests inviting randoms?

Little_MrsA2B, 21 August, 2015 at 20:33 Posted on Planning 0 10

Hi everyone. Hope you're all getting on well with your plans. I just wondered if anyone has been in a situation where their guests are bringing randoms along with them? And what to do about it?

One of my closest friends lives abroad and has just got a new partner. We were talking (via whatsapp) about her travel plans for when she comes over for the wedding. She said she'd have her partner with her and they were going to go to Europe as well as her partner has family there... She's just assumed/invited her partner! Neither me nor my H2B have met my friend's partner. Our "rule" re guests was if we hadn't both met the person, they weren't coming. We wanted people there that we love and know well. There are also money and number factors to consider... But on the other hand I really want my friend to be there more than anything and obviously she would want to travel a bit whilst over here which of course she would want to do with her partner. I'm just worried it could open the floodgates!

Writing it out, I think we will have to welcome her along. Just wondering if anyone else has had this issue?

10 replies

Latest activity by Tidal Wave, 23 August, 2015 at 09:50
  • Jayne E
    VIP
    Jayne E ·
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    Is she the only person travelling any distance etc that is bringing a random? I think if so you could get away with it in respect of other people. I don't think it unreasonable that they want to make a holiday of it and if he doesn't come is he sat in a hotel on his own. I would make an exception for her on these grounds and just not tell anyone else. If they complain afterwards just say distance, cost, holiday and not leaving him sat in a hotel on his own. By then it's already done with.

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  • pink & glitz
    Beginner August 2014
    pink & glitz ·
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    I think she is justified wanting to bring him to the wedding as she is travelling from abroad, to go to a wedding on your own isnt much fun and would end up being Billy no mates.

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  • E
    Beginner
    ExpensiveBrownDiamonds1257 ·
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    We have a lot of guests traveling from abroad. We will know some of their partners, but for others who are traveling a long distance and won't know many of the other guests, we're letting them bring a date.

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  • S
    Beginner December 2015
    SunnyPinkConfetti310 ·
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    I think the "if we haven't met them they aren't coming" rule works fine when you're talking about your Mum's Great Aunt Gertrude and Cousin Mabel, but it's ludicrous to apply it to friend's partners, especially if they don't live locally to you.

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  • L
    Beginner July 2016
    Little_MrsA2B ·
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    Thanks for your replies. I think you're all right. My friend wouldn't be on her own though. There are 10 in our close friendship group (the others are coming from abroad too).

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  • S
    Beginner August 2015
    Sparkle2015 ·
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    All of y guests have a plus 1, whether we know them or not. I personally think it isnt quite right to invite someone to a wedding but not their partner.

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  • M
    Beginner May 2016
    mkw ·
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    I don't know if I have misinterpreted your post, but has she definitely said her partner will be coming to the wedding? Or did she mean she'd have her partner with her while she's travelling? I know someone who flew over from abroad for a wedding recently and turned it into travelling and the partner just amused themselves for the day.

    That said, we are having a similar policy to you about only inviting partners if we've met them at least once, but I would probably make an exception in this case.

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  • M
    Beginner January 1999
    MrsLGtobe ·
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    Are you sure she's intending on bringing the partner to your wedding as opposed to just bringing him to Europe? If they are coming over a few days before would you have a chance to have a quick meet up with them so that the wedding day isn't the first time you've met? That's what we've done with a few friends who've partners we have not had the chance to meet x

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  • Fleur88
    Beginner March 2016
    Fleur88 ·
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    I think it's fine to make an exception in this case, people will understand.

    I would want to make my friend's day enjoyable and if she is worried about her partner for the whole day then it might impact on her enjoyment of the day!

    If people don't understand that travelling from abroad is a different kettle of fish to people travelling a few miles down the road then that's their problem and they are the ones being unreasonable. It won't open the floodgates unless you let it.

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  • kelly17687
    Beginner May 2016
    kelly17687 ·
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    I don't understand how it's ludicrous to not apply this to friends partners? In this situation, as they are travelling, I would say invite him but it's definitely not ludicrous to not invite partners you've never met!!

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  • T
    Beginner May 2016
    Tidal Wave ·
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    Our two best friends live abroad, I wasn't invited to his best mates wedding as we'd only been together 6 months. However for my best mates wedding we were both invited as we were living together and was assumed I'd bring him. I think it depends on how far they are travelling and however callous how serious their relationship is, and if you are meeting them before your wedding.

    If we had married first then we would have invited their other halves because it's a long journey and it's not easy to meet their partners when you're looking at a 12 or 24 hour flight Smiley winking but any friends who live in England we are not inviting partners we haven't met, because there is the opportunity to have met them.

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