Hate my mother in law - any tips for a happy marriage?

Yes I do! Not though I must say half as bad as yours, but she hates me told my OH he shouldn't marry me etc etc. WE had a lot of rows initially as he couldn't see any wrong in her but thankfully she showed her true colours - but shes his mum at the end of the say and shes not been as evil as yours! I just have nothing to do with mine but have said I will be civil to her at the wedding - he doesnt see too much of her now so thankfully the problem has almost gone - not a lot of help to you but I do feel for you she sounds aweful!!! I'd refuse all contact personally!

Wow! I'm happy to say that my MIL to be is wonderful and we get along great. However, I have witnessed my sister and friends with difficult MILs - not as bad as yours though!

It sounds like your OH is well aware of his mother's behaviour and that he has backed you up so far. Hopefully he will continue to do so and if he doesn't, you need to call him on it. Clearly she is the one creating the problems. I would try to be civil with her for the sake of him but also limit your contact with her until (if at all) she shows that she has truly turned over a new leaf. She has no right to treat you that way and you don't deserve it either.

When/if you have children - more issues could arise so be prepared for that. And don't be afraid to limit her contact with her grandkids (again if you guys have any). Unless she can be respectful, if not loving, I wouldn't want my children around such a toxic person.

You are definitely not alone here and I truly sympathise. I don't get along with my FMIL either and I doubt I ever will, although fortunately she hasn't behaved as badly as yours. Is your OH an only child? Not that it's any excuse but I've found before that mothers are even more possessive over their sons when they only have the one.

It sounds like you are a rational person and prepared to make some effort to get along and that will go a long way, especially when it comes to you and your OH dealing with your FMIL as a team.

If it were me, as she has apologised, I would be civil but keep her at arms length until she learns how to keep her nasty tongue in check. I really don't understand why FMILs can't be happy if their children are happy, surely that's all that matters? I avoid going to my FMILs house and don't have anything to do with her, but I'm well aware that might not be a long term strategy!

Ur story is just the same as me and my OH and his brother and his OH and i mean word for word.

me and mother in law didnt get on from the start but me and OH had a baby and she changed over night and we started getting along great until baby was born and she got nasty again however i bit my tonge for the sake of our child and my OH and surprisenly we got on great really and became really close and enjoyed each others company ( i think mostly it was because everyone was clear that me and OH were happy together ( we didnt have a baby just to get along with her lol it was our choice lol)

OH brother and his partner they never really got back on talking terms with her which was sad to see so i tried alot to get them talking again which never worked as MIL and BIL were on there high horse and didnt want to make the first move

sadly my MIL passed away december just gone and i am so glad we started to get along all those years ago and sadly BIL never did

so my answer to ur question how do you deal with it is ....

you never no what is going to happen so just make it clear to her that you and ur OH are for real and are very happy with each other and let her make the choice to accept it or not give one more chance to see if both of u can get along if not just make it clear that u will be kind and caring when u are both around each other and its down to her if she will be the same ( then at least u can say u made and effort to get along ) i hope u dont get no more grieve as its not easy x

I've never met my MIL. Threads like this make me glad of that fact.

She also doesn't know H and I have a baby together.

Fellow Hello Kitty fan!! Yay !!

I completely understand !! I have MAJOR issues with my MIL to say she is evil is a pure understatment !!

She had a problem with me from the start ,my H left his ex wife for me back in 2007 , their relationship was dead ,the ex wife cheated on H and they argued alot ,they tired councilling and all that , (i know all this as i was H best friend for 3 years before us getting together) But according to MIL there relationship was amazing and i was the she devil that came in to break up a happy home !!

When me and H got together there was no where for him to live so he moved in with me straight away , so i then get a phone call to tell me how evil i was and that i should send H home to his wife , even when i told her that the ex had cheated she still said i have no right and i should send him home !! things turned ugly and i put the phone down !! My mum found out and rang MIL herself ( not sure what she thought it could do ) they argued and MIL basically said she had disowned H and didnt want nothing to do with us and any children we had !!

We didnt even tell her when i was pregnant it wasnt untill right near the end that she found out and all of a sudden she had forgotten all the vile things she said about me and H ! when my little boy was about 9 months she invited us up to stay with her , Her and FIL own a hotel in blackpool , so we stayed a week , there was a bit of tension but all was ok , i didnt really want to go but H came first and i wanted him to see his mum !! about 2 weeks later i had a massive arguement with the ex wife and she told me that MIL said i was an unfit parent because im a big girl !! and that i was lazy and left all the work to my H which was not true !!

By this time she knew all about us getting married and i had even talked wedding with her whilst with her ,she had promised to pay the photographer , once planning started she started causing problems , she would slag us of to everyone she could with caused arguements with all the family , the declined the wedding as the hotel was more important and because of all the arguements Hs brothers and sisters also declined the wedding , two months before the wedding she decided the photos where costing too much as they wasnt going to be in therm !!! WTF like that would matter !! so she decided she would only pay a little leaving us to find £300 last minute !!Our wedding day was the happiest day of our lives and too me it was better without them!!!

Since then i wont have nothing to do with them ! she likes to believe shes done nothing wrong and acts like we should think the same , but no way , there is no going back for me , the bridges are well and truely burnt !! i really hope this isnt the case for you , my mum always says time is a healer and maybe in time your MIL will see your not trying to steal her boy !! i hope your ok any way and you have always got a place to offload here!!