Have any of you not had or decided not to have a.........

Hi Bobbi,

I'm not planning to have a hen do.... Everyone has been going on and on at me about having one and it's been doing my head in. My closest friends are scattered across the country, I've lived in so many places that none of them know each other, and there would be so much pressure on me to ensure that everyone is having a good time and that everyone is getting on and not being cliquey. Money is the main issue though. I've been on so many hen dos where the bride and her MOH loose all sense of perspective and, as a guest, you end up spending a small fortune, that you really can't afford but don't want to ruin her day, so feel forced to go along with it! Or alternatively, you gently try to explain that you can't afford to come along and she simply can't understand it and takes it as a snub.... I'm conscious that all of my guests are having to travel far to my wedding (with the exception of my folks), so not only will they have to fork out to get there, but they have to stay overnight as well. Perhaps I'm too sensitive about finances, I don't know. But ultimately, I'm marrying the love of my life and to know that my closest friends will be there to share our happiness is more than enough for me. I'm not losing them as friends, so there will be plenty times when we can have girly catch ups after the wedding!

Do I sound a bit Bah Humbug-ish?! Sorry! I don't mean to... I'll try and snap out of it! ?

I really, really, REALLY dont want one. They are just not for me - I dont do girly nights out (in fact I have not been out without my OH for about 4 yrs), and dont like going out without OH there. I probably sound like a mentalist, but I just dont have fun without him being there - Im always worrying too much about safety, or whether he is sat at home bored without me (which he probably isnt...!). I would like to have a night out with close friends and family before the wedding - male AND female - but dont think OH is going to go for it!

I suspect that there are a couple of women at work planning to kidnap me and throw me blindfold on a plane to Prague or something... OH seems to be determined to get me to have one! Just not my bag....

Nope, I'm not having one. Reason? It's not my scene.
I know I'm getting married in Blackpool but the night before my wedding me and H2B are going to watch the illuminations being switched on, and enjoy a nice evening together.

I am...well Im having a few!!

I am going to center parcs for the weekend in August with my Mum and 2 sisters.

I will be going away somewhere- disneyland paris or spain for a couple of nights with close friends that want to and can afford to come

A meal and drinks in a town near me!

This way I have covered everything and everyone, people have a choice of weekend away or even just a drink rather than whole meal. I have a lot of friends of diffferent ages with different situations eg kids, older, etc so wanted to find something that everyone could do if they choose

xx

Yeah I'm having two actually.

an 2 day trip away with a small bunch of my friends (although my sis said that loads were pulling out at the last minute so not sure that this will go ahead ☹️)

and a dinner and drinks locally for everybody else

I dont usually arrange parties or anything for myself cos I always feel as if nobody will come but I guess your wedding is different plus I'm not arranging it - the BMs are.

I'm probably not, for much the same reason as jumbly girl! My female friends are scattered around the country and I don't want to make everyone travel and spend all their money for a night out, when the have to do the same a few weeks later for the wedding. Plus none of them really know each other, best just to focus on organising and enjoying the wedding!

Hey flutterbye,

I can't tell you how pleased I am to know there's a likeminded soul out there.... Have you been getting grief about this from people too?

I know, was quite a relief to see your post and read what I've been thinking! I haven't really mentioned it to anyone yet as I have been trying to keep wedding talk to a minimum in real life ? I'm a bit scared that some of my friends will try and organise something, but I'm hoping that no-one will think to mention it till it's too late!

Well, I've decided not to have one in the end - was going to go on a weekend away to Rome with the BMs (scattered over europe and one of them is now pregnant and won't be able to travel to the uk for the wedding). but I decided to cancel because it became a bit stressful really - I've been really busy at work and have loads to finish before the wedding which is only 2.5 months away now, money has been extremely tight and I just didn't think it was worth it in the end. I've spoken to my CMB who completely understood - but emailed the other two (sounds harsh but thats how we communicate these days with the time difference and me finishing work so late) and have heard nothing back. not even a confirmation that they received my mail - so I'm guessing there's a bit of sulking going on at the moment, OH was going on about how I 'must' have a hen but to be honest it was never that important to me, will probably go for a few drinks or something, but not up for anything major - just feel a bit run down, tired and stressed at the moment...