Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes. In every prior relationship. I absolutely hit a point where I hated men. In between the last nobber and H I was on my own for 5 months and I gained a little perspective. Now I have the attitude if they're going to cheat they will. Doesn't matter how much you fret it won't do anything but make you ill. I still have moments but it's been programmed in me for 1 0 years that men cheat so it's only natural and I know if I'm feeling unreasonable so j just deal win it.

I too have been cheated on. I was with the guy for 4-5years an and now looking back i'd say he was cheating for at least the last two of those years.

I knew deep down that it was happening but didn't want to admit it, one lady was the mother of one of the lads on his kids football team (he was manager) with whom he text constantly and who's husband threatened my ex at his parents house once, another lady was his best friends wife - his best mate was in Canada for work for 6 months and he was there everyday. One night we were all out together and she had an asthma attack and needed her medication, he knew her inhailer was in her underwear draw (and not where it was usually kept in the cupboard). This caused us to split - I was already making the decsion and we didn't speak for weeks as we both worked away but when I got back from work one Friday he was sitting on my sofa surrounded with all my belongings from his house. It was a mutal decsion in that it was what we both wanted. I now know from my neighbour there was aa dark haired women in military uniform waiting in the car for him as he ended it with me, and that they were clearly together. What I now know, which I didn't know then was that he was scared i'd have my fears of his chearing with best friends wife confirmed as he had fallen out with his best mate and the *** had really hit the fan, as my dad would day

In terms of how I coped, at first I didn't - stopped eating and lived off of vodka, spent my waking hours partying! It took me from Feb 2007 to June 2009 to be in the right frame of mind to let anyone else "in" and that was when I met H. I can honestly now say the space and time for me helped and that now I 100% Trust that my H wouldn't ever consider it. Without being too sickening I know how he feels, and that he wouldn't risk losing me.

So, I know it's hard but it sounds like you need to sit down and have some time to decide what it is that makes you think you will be cheated on again, is their a certain behaviour your unsure of etc? Or is it your own frame of mind telling you that history will repeat itself? Once you know what the issue really is, then you can go about fixing it.

Kind of. The man I thought was the love of my life (before I met H). When I first met him I knew he was living with someone and we were just friends. When we got together it was because they had split up...or so he told me. Of course she had never moved out and knew nothing of me. Thought it was strange that I was never invited to his, and he only saw me certain nights, but I was blind to it as I loved him so much. He was promising marriage, children to me and the same to her. She found out and went mad quite rightly. So I guess he was cheating on both of us. Took me a long time to trust anyone after that.

When I was younger, at university, I was in a situation where a guy was trying to keep two of us on the go on the pretence that he couldn't decide between us. It sounds so stupid when I write it now, but we (the other girl and I) let him get away with it for so long.

As for actual being cheated on, I don't know. I have my suspicions about one relationship but I was never able to prove it, so I don't think about it!

I could never prove anything, but I suspect my ex-H may have cheated on me. According to my neighbour there were women who came to my house when I wasn't there when my H was supposed to be working. He wasn't working, he was bunking off, lying to me and running up debts because of his lack of income. But I was past caring by then, I had been trying to leave him for 3 years.

I went out with someone for a few weeks when I was at school and he cheated on me - he was gorgeous and had a huge ego though, so I'm not surprised.

Yeh, i was with him for 2 years and we worked together. One night i caught him kissing another girl in a club blatently infront of me and when i went up and ripped her off him he DENIED IT! he followed me out fo the club, 'its not what it looked like', cried, told me i was the one and it meant nothing.

The worse thing? The following week we had a new girl start at work......it was her!

? No way!!

Not that I am aware of, but then in my previous relationship I definitely wore rose tinted spectacles*

*if he did I would have ignored it at the time but looking back I am pretty sure that he did. After we split after 7 years he was very quick to start working his way around Cambridgeshire.

yeh, she tried to make friends avec moi and be all friendly, didnt even mention the incident from the previous weekend..EVERYONE at work knew so was marvellous times. TBF she was a bit of a hobag, and subsequently worked her way around the rest fo the team

The only serious boyfriend I've ever had is my H and I pretty sure he hasnt cheated on me.

I say pretty sure because you can never truely know but I trust him so have never questioned it.

I've never cheated on him or anyone else.

Not that I'm aware of, however, the boyfriend I had back in uni was a complete dog but I wasn't seeing that at the time, despite people trying to tell me. Looking back, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a different girl every week as we were hundreds of miles apart in different unis.

I don't think so. Obviously you can never know for sure though.

When I was 6 I saw my boyfriend kiss my best friend on the cheek. I was devastated and cried for 3 days until he finally dumped me properly for her. They only lasted a week too hahaha!

In my adult relationships, I'm 100% sure that none of them cheated and I trusted them all completely. I wouldn't be sticking with a man that could do that.

My first true love when I was 18/19 slept with someone behind my back. Or so he told me. When I look back, i was a nightmare bunny boiler and was completely obsessed with him and I think it was more likely he was just trying to shake me off. It worked though.

I have also shamefully been the cheater and the "other woman". ?

Yes, including ex husband. I tried again to make it work afterwards but it was never the same again.

Your honesty is refreshing, Panj. You really make me chuckle too!

One definate when I was 14. There have been incidents of emotional cheating since then but no further proof. I have been "the other woman" twice...once I diddnt know he had a partner and the other I did. Not my proudest moment.

Definitely by my first bf. Firstly with my then best friend, and secondly with another girl who he said that he thought he was in love with, possibly more times though.

Possibly also by my third bf, although I could never prove it went more than flirting

Yup; my son's dad cheated on me. It went on for a long time and I knew about it for a long time, but every time I accused him and the girl in question, they denied everything and made out that I was paranoid and insecure. They did such a good job that after a while I believed that I was crazy. It wasn't until after he and I split that he confessed one night when he'd come round to visit our son and ended up staying for dinner and a glass bottle of wine. The only thing that made me feel better about it was that apparently when we split, she wanted them to get into a proper relationship but he'd realised that she's a complete fruit loop and said he didn't want to. It gave me a perverse satisfaction knowing that after everything, she still didn't get what she wanted.

It took me a very long time to get over that level of betrayal and manipulation and learn to trust H. I still have moments of immense insecurity.

Yes, once with my first bf, I found out he'd kissed someone else, he eventually left me for one of my friends and for some reason we ended up getting back together and stayed together for a few years. I have no idea why when I think about it now.

Another ex cheated on me with his ex, she was a fruit loop, and even emailed me to say she didn't care that he was with me. Crazy. That relationship ended straight away.

You go girl!
My older sister found out her OH at the time had slept with someone else in there bed. She got his best friend to hekp her empty the entire house while he was at work, she literally left him with his fish tank and half a loaf of mouldy bread. She then burnt their matress, took a phot of it and sent it to him saying "where you gonna sleep now then?".Twas the first he knew about it! ?

In answer to the OP, I don't think anyone's ever cheated on me. When I was 15 my boyfriend's cousn told me he'd been cheating, so I dumped him by text! It turned out months later that the cousin had the hots for me and made it up to break us up. Pssht!

WSS

Its nothing he is doing, just my paranoia surfacing as it happened when i was planning my wedding to my ex, and now im planning this wedding its just me being daft really as he is nothing like my ex and i know he wouldnt hurt me the way he did. He is the the real deal.

I can totally relate to this. Its like the b*****d has left me a legacy.

My ex fiance cheated on me 2 months before our wedding, with my sister.

Just glad I found out before and not after we were married.

Not that I know of.

Yep. My first Fiance, he never admitted it, but I just knew. I had the evidence of him flirting with numerous other women which in my book, when you're with someone, isn't right. It came to a head one night when I found more evidence, we stayed up all night rowing. He left for work at 6am, I passed out through exhaustion and completely missed work, drove 90 miles, hired a van, drove back. Packed everything I owned in the house (Plus his Xbox360 and Wii) and left him. I'd like to say that was the last time I saw him, but I made him bring his daughter to see me one last time to say goodbye to her (We'd got really close and that's what hurt the most) and I also had to go back to the house a few months later to pick up my other car. It took me a long time to realise there's such a thin line between love and hate, because we'd patched things up 6 months earlier when I found dodgy emails to and from a girl. I was so scared to lose what we had that I gave him a second chance. Second time round, I left immediately as I knew I'd just go mental. I found out months later that after I left him he had to remortgage the house, his beloved porsche blew up and his business went tits up and he had to close it - I felt weirdly pleased.. Karma

Yep. In every relationship previous to this one.The worst was my ex fiance who cheated on me endless times and when we finally split he admitted to everything that I had suspected. I was such a mug!!!

Learnt from those relationships and I now know to tryst my instincts.

I trust my H 110% and know that he would never cheat. He is a good man.