Have you ever thought....what if?

In response to the OP, no, I never think 'what if'! I wouldn't be happy going into a marriage with doubts like that in my mind.

I knew that he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with the first time we went out for dinner. Our goals, dreams and aspirations were already intertwined and I know our lives are better for having each other. I'm glad we've both got pasts and experiences that we bring to our relation but our future is together, until death do us part.

Yes posting on a thread about people having doubts saying how your relationship is perfect and you've never questioned it.. came across as smug. Wasn't a useful post in the slightest.

*Shrug*

Also, I am quaking in my boots over the scariest Hitcher award. Ooooooooooooh. Whatever would I do? Turn my computer off and walk away?

In YOUR opinion it wasn't a useful post, I'm sure many others would disagree with you.

It was a joke at Trickers' expense, NOT yours.

I have noticed on a few of your posts that you are quite rude to people, what do you get out of it? Is it that you know you will get attention by being controversial? It is quite sad that an adult, mature woman, such as yourself, has to resort to petty insults to gain attention...

The OP asked if any H'rs had ever had doubts. That wasn't an invitation for 'those with doubts' only, it was open to everyone! Some of which won't have ever had doubts. Why are you getting your knickers in a twist?!

My knickers are perfectly fine thank you ?

But well done everyone for over-reacting. It was my opinion, sometimes people have differing ones.

Just Stirring Trouble?

I dont I read any post that shouted "over-reaction" until I saw yours...?! As I have previously posted, you have come across incredibly rude and insulting on a few threads that you have posted in... why is that I wonder? Attention?!

It was my first reaction to what Trickers posted. And I dont think I was that rude to her. Wasn't stirring trouble either, not my style.

Loving everyone jumping on attacking me though. Could have sworn that was against the rules of this website? Must go and cry into my pillow.

Obviously, and I respect other views. Being rude however is a completely different matter!

Alright then KBS, where have I been rude before? The last few posts I've commented on I've complimented someone's dress, hoped someone has a great time when dress shopping, said how beautiful a bride looked and said who we are having as witnesses.

Errrrrrrrr yeah, regular trouble stirrer, me.

No-one is attacking you at all, I am possibly answering for the majority here but our posts are our own opinions to your post, which in your words, were your opinion too, so are you saying that you can have an opinion but we cant? Not attacking, just asking a question!

I did state, I had read on a few threads, not all.. Please dont take everything so literally! Plus I dont need to try and use sarcasm when I post back as I am intelligent enough to write without using it

I dunno it just came across as smug! Most of the posts were from people saying they have their doubts and that their relationships have been rocky in the past and then you say you've never questioned yours. It just was a bit smug sounding!

Wasn't meant to paticularly insult you and I still don't think it was that rude either. It's not like I said you had a gopping dress or a bit fat arse or anything (oh my god I am not saying either of those things.)

Beyond ROOD. So posting on this thread is only helpful if you have had a bad previous relationship? Well shove me sideways and call me Bo Derek.

And JST I think it's abhorrent how you spoke to Trickers about HER relationship.

Back to the OP, I have had cr*ppy relationships in the past and OH is like a breath of fresh air to be honest. I did have doubts about this time last year, but only because I was ready to take the next step and commit and thought that OH never would propose! So thought we were on different wavelengths.

However, even though I really went into this relationship not even thinking about settling down and trying not to fall for OH too quickly, I couldn't help myself. And I have no doubts that he is "the one". (Don't mean to sound smug or anything)

PS: I am very jealous of people like Trickers and my best friend. Although my friend had a few non serious boyfriends before she met her hubby, he has been and will hopefully always be her one and only. Yes, like Trickers, they argue and it is not always perfect, but I really wish that I'd met my OH when I was 17 and started going out then. Therefore jealous of them! ?

I believe the question that was asked was "Have you ever thought... what if?"...... in which case her answer was very useful and her answer happened to be no.

I wish I hadn't wasted 7 years of my life with my ex and was not even looking for another relationship when I met H2B but it all just fell into place.

I totally agree with you Mrs C, that's how i feel.

And no problem, Trickers, I was only saying how I felt.

Some people have history, some are lucky enough to find "the one" early on. And no-one knows what the future holds. But I wish all of us a happily ever after ? ??

Abhorent! LOL!

I had a simular experience, I spent 5 years in a relationship that wasn't for me.

But I am completely the opposite in that I don't reget it - I learnt so much about myself and my life and it's made mine and H2bs relationship much much better. I'd never treat anyone how I was treated and it's made me initiate boundries and expectations.

I think that if you do experience bad relationships (which i have had a fair few in my time!), put it down to life and its colourful way of guiding you. I think its lovely that Trickers found her "one and only" so early on. When i think back to the person i was with at 16 i want to hurl! ?

My OH and I have been together for 9 and a half years (since we were 16 and 17). He is my absolute best friend and I feel physically sick if I think about my life without him. I have never had any doubts about our relationship at all and have always known he is the right person for me. However, statistically I do worry, as both of my parents were married previously, so that does very occasionally play on my mind. Not because of faults with our relationship though.

*joins the smug brigade*

Gah, silly me using a long word and not putting the definition down. Here you go:

ab·hor·rent  –adjective 1. causing repugnance; detestable; loathsome: an abhorrent deed. 2. utterly opposed, or contrary, or in conflict (usually followed by to ): abhorrent to reason. 3. feeling extreme repugnance or aversion (usually followed by of ): abhorrent of waste. 4. remote in character (usually followed by from ): abhorrent from the principles of law.

I was with a fella for 3 years who was not evil or anything but he was just so wrong for me.

The end of the relationship was really quite horrific for me - he was my first love - but I was strong, inished it & stayed away espite his best efforts to 'win' me back ie telling everyone how he still loved me, how I broke his heart blah blah so everyone thought I was awful for not giving him a second chance!

I met my OH through mutual friends - and the first time I met him, he was rude to me (i now know his sense of humour!) and i didnt speak to him for 6 months! haha! But one nite I was drunk & we got talking - though it was casual for a while because I was scared of getting hurt again ( just a year after my ex) and was enjoying being 'me'. But it got to the point where we just had to give it a proper go - it was just power rolling towards that conclusion!

Hes tall, dark, handsome, makes me laugh and has the kindest heart. He counteracts my brazen nature! I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else.

And we argue - quite regularly over him being so laidback, house stuff etc but we dont argue over 'big' issues if that makes sense. Hes started to be better with money etc and I dont worry about him running off with anyone else or anything like that.

Were a fit & we work. ?

Sorry had to giver MY opinion here!

I replied quite early on in this post and I too said that I wasnt having any doubts whatsoever, but it was obvious that Id been through some crappy previous relationships but I am in a wonderful place now!! So am I not 'SMUG' because Ive been through some Sh*t before???!!!

I read Trickers post and my first thought was how bloody lovely and refreshing to hear a story like hers!! And not once did the word Smug spring to mind!!

Will just ignore the current discussion about smugness and answer the OP...

Since I got engaged I have never worried about whether my OH and I will get divorced one day, which I think is a good sign since I worry like crazy about everything else in my life. The other week we were having a huge row and I was getting so p*ssed off with him when I realised that even at that moment when I was sooo mad at him I still loved him and wanted to be married to him. I know my OH worries about what would happen if we ever split up - lots of people who have never even met me (facebook friends mostly ?) have suggested that as I'm only 22 I might get bored in a couple of years and feel like I haven't slept around enough, etc. I knew they were getting to him because he suddenly started asking me if I wanted to go out clubbing with him all the time... But after I told him that I had no doubt about our future together he relaxed a bit.

Ohhhhhhh thanks for the explanation of that terribly long word. Don't know what I'd do without you.

And GOOD GRIEF everyone calm down. I simply called her smug so what? I didn't slag her relationship or her or say there was anything wrong with it, if she wants to be smug about it then super, smashing, great. It was just my point of view.

So 'smug' is a positive word then?

Hear hear. From reading this i think you need to chill out JST!!

I don't have any problem at all, and my attitude is fine thank you very much. You seem fine, as much as I notice any single person on this site, I dont remember much detail. But You and all the others who jumped all over this thread are the ones who seem to have a big bunch of knickers up their bum cracks.

I said something, you didn't like it, should have been the end eh? But everyone had to get their 2 pence in and go on and on and on and on. Quite frankly I am now a bit bored of defending something I casually remarked on and I couldnt give a flying toss what the rest of them think.

Anyone else who replies is just dragging it out, I'll be asking for the whole stupid thing to be deleted as I feel bullied and picked on (cry cry cry cry cry).

WSS !!

Vik I am chilled out. I think you need to remind the people who turned this into a 5 page boring essay that at any point the computer can be turned off and walked away from.