Having Children?

Just seen your reply in WP!

For some reason, I can't copy and paste though, so I'll try and remember what I wrote.

I never wanted kids before I met my OH. My mum always told me that when I find the right man, I will want to have children with him, but I just shrugged it off. I honestly never thought I would have kids, ever.

Then I met OH and, almost instantly, knew that I wanted to have kids with him. It seemed like I finally found what I was meant to be/do in life and that was to make babies with this wonderful man!

Turned out my mum was right. Now, I couldn't imagine getting old and having no children.

I'm not saying what my mum said is true for everyone, but for me it was.

H and I intend to have children eventually. We're going to be TTC as of next year. I hadn't really thought about what would happen if it turned out we couldn't, but i guess i won't know how i feel until such a case arises. Right now we're concentrating on some time together just the two of us before children enter the equation. I'm pretty happy just to fill our house with pets for now. (we've got 4 rats, soon to be 3 rabbits and a cat...i promised i'd stop once our newest addition arrives)

One of my best friends doesn't want children at all, and openly admitted that if she ever got pregnant she would have it aborted. I couldn't comprehend this at all to begin with, but she is happy to be just her and her boyfriend and their pets. She doesn't like children at all and it's not in her life plan to have them. I can't imagine how she feels that way, but at the same time, she can't understand how i could possibly want something that would keep me up all night, stop me from going out whenever i want to, cost so much money to look after.

A colleague of mine asked me what the point in a child was. I actually couldn't answer her. I just know that i want one!

I would like them I just can't see when I'm going to fit them in, I have so much in my career to accomplish and so many places to go things to do, and I guess that tick tock is getting louder!

So I think I will have to make some choices soon about what I want and when. What I do know is that I think I would regret it if I didn't have any.

Part of me also can't get my head round it and I can't believe it could pssibly happen to me. Don't get me wrong I understand the mechanics of it but somehow it just seems to be something that happens to other people.

OK so my ramblings sound strange, hope you can understand what I'm getting at!

Thats exactly how I feel.

OH and I have so many reasons not to have kids and very few for having kids. I love him, he loves me and that's the way we like it. Also, we have a niece and nephew who we spend as much time with as we can but neither of us can realistically see children in our future.

I felt like this about my wedding day! It's one of those things that you can't image it ever happening to you....I couldn't imagine how my wedding day was going to go, if it would ever actually happen (despite planning it all)

Last year I thought I had endometriosis and while I was having tests and things I was terrified at the prospect of possibly having problems when I am ready to TTC, so I know I definately want children. I had a laparoscopy and was told that 'gynaecologically speaking' I am fine.

Whilst this was obviously a relief, I suppose you never know until you start TTC whether or not you'll have problems (I still worry I might not be able to). Then again, my Mum was told she couldn't have kids, and she had 2 (completely naturally) so I'd like to think that miracles can happen.

I love the idea of having a family,my family is quite close and always have big christmases and birthdays. I love the idea of continuing these traditions with my own family.

but then H and i have a great life. We are very social, have great holidays etc.

We have always agreed that if it happens, it happens, lets just see where life takes us! I do get pangs whenever i see my friends babies though, but then it is nice to go home and open a bottle of wine in peace and quite!

I was talking to H about this yesterday - I spent the whole of our wedding day in disbelief that so many people would turn up just to see us. I couldn't get my head around the idea that we were actually getting married not just dressing up and throwing a silly party.

I have tried to imagine what it would be like to be pregnant, go into labour and look after a child as it grows up, and I just can't. The idea of having a tiny person living inside me scares me. I do sometimes think it would be easier not to have children because there is so much we still want to do and I can't see how we could possibly fit it all in and have a family However, I would love to have children with H and for them to grow up to be like him (which tbh, wouldn't be difficult as he acts like a 3 yr old most of the time anyway).

If I couldn't have kids then i would try to adopt or foster and if I had to live with never having a family I think I would be perfectly happy. But if I didn't try I know I would regret it.

I'm well renowned through these parts for not wanting kids. None at all. Ever. The thought makes me feel I'll. All I can liken it too is how do you know you want kids? I imagine you have a real urge for them? I have the same urge but backwards. Nothing more to it than that.

I'll probably get shot for this, esp. by the upduffed of hitched, but I find the thought of being pregnant quite repulsive.

I have pCos and adhesions from endo as I found out today. It's not impossible to get pregnant with either of those conditions.

@pompeypaula I totally agree. If I found out I was pregnant now I honestly think I would want to get rid. I appreciate that in the cold light of that situation I may feel different but the thought of having a baby in my tummy freaks me out. I am over the moon when my friends have babies, I love holding them and cuddling newborns is divine but when it comes down to me having one. No chance.

I posted my answer in WP, will copy and paste here, but up until recently I felt very similarly. The thought of being pregnant or giving birth seemed like something out of Alien to me, it just seemed "wrong".

I wouldn't feel 'complete' unless I had children. It's the main goal in my life, as sad as that may seem to some. Apart from general health/happiness with H there is nothing in the world I want more. I don't understand how anyone cannot want children, I don't want that offend, much the same I presume as those who can't understand my broodiness. I can't comprehend it.

For years and years I had absolutely no interest in having children at all. As I got older I started to realise I wanted a family but had no interest in having biological children; pregnancy and childbirth just seemed "wrong" to me (yes I know it's the most natural thing in the world, but that's how I felt). I also figured there's enough children out there in need of love who don't have parents without me adding to the world's population. I genuinely couldn't understand why people were that bothered about having their own biological children. When I met OH and we started getting serious it turned out we both felt the same way about adoption, which was perfect really.

It was then that Ali G's "once you meet the right person you'll feel differently" thing kicked in, and suddenly I could understand the desire to create a new life that's part me and part the person I love. I have PCOS and my fertility probably isn't great (when I'm not on the pill my periods are all over the place and can go six months without a period), so if it turns out I can't have kids I would still be more than happy to adopt, but I would like to try having biological children.

That's not sad missuss, don't ever say it is. We are all different and that's what makes the world an interesting place. We truly are polar opposites! it's just like you say, to me the ought of being a mum is odd, whereas you can fathom how someone would not want to be. Makes for a talking point at least!

Iv just edited my wording, I didn't want it to come across wrong and upset anyone..

When I first met mrmini I wanted his babies immediately, however as we have grown together it's come to me attention that to have more children with him (he has two who we have every weekend) would stifle him. I think I only wanted children because I tout I should do as opposed to wanting them myself? 'society' says I should have children so I felt I should... Now I can see that's wrong for me at least.

I've always known that I wanted children one day, just like I always knew I wanted to do nursing.

However, literally as soon as I turned 26 I got REALLY broody and started to get all silly over kiddies at work. It was like a switch that had been turned on. My bestie teased me, until 18 months later it happened to her. 26 was the magic number for us.

Now I'm finding it harder and harder to listen to my head about the matter. And bestie is due in November.

Im glad that someone else has said this, as I feel the same.

I know I want children and so does my OH, it will be next year we start trying. But when I think about it i worry it wont happen, that there will be a problem and it wont happen - purely because it happens so easily for everyone else around me. Im the only one (along with 1 other friend) who hasnt got kids yet, all my other friends have either just recently had a baby and one is pregnant with baby number2, and one has 2 kids already! The other friend who hasnt got a baby, doesnt want kids - she's actually quite frightened by them.

I just hope that everything is ok and babies happen for me and all the other want-to-be mommy's ?

My sister has really bad Pcos and she's had two kids.

I'm so pleased that someone feels the same as me. I thought that I was being really harsh.