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Beginner October 2013

Having major wobbles :(

germaki, 21 May, 2013 at 13:45 Posted on Planning 0 6

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I get married in Oct and am having major anxiety about the whole wedding, to the point where I'm sticking my head in the sand with anything to do with weddings.

I still haven't been to the registra so notice hasn't been given, invites haven't gone out yet despite me having them for the past couple of weeks, other stuff that I should be dealing with I'm not because any time I start thinking about the wedding I get all panicky

My cousin (13yrs old) is one of my bridesmaids and she's in hospital and is likely to be there for a long while so very possible she won't be able to come to the wedding, which isn't an issue as her health is so much more important, but there is a very high chance it means my uncle/aunt won't be able to come so I won't have my uncle give me away.

I keep getting emotional thinking about how my Dad won't be here (he died years ago) and how I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep it together.

I'm worried about the money and how it's all going to be paid for, worried about whether the wedding is going to be good enough, worried about what people will think.

On top of that I'm having major dress wobbles thinking I made the wrong decision and I'm not going to like the dress when it arrives, and also stressing about whether I will have lost enough weight that I will feel comfortable wearing it and looking good in it

I was considering postponing the wedding last night but then if I do that I will be letting people down as many have already made travel arrangments and paid out for hotels etc.

Am I being completely over the top or is this normal?

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6 replies

Latest activity by Ohwhatatuesday, 21 May, 2013 at 20:07

Beginner January 2012
ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown · 21 May, 2013 at 14:09
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Both. The vast majority of wedding wobbles are entirely over the top, but they are also quite a normal experience!

1. Go and give notice. It will be something positive to get you back on track. Don't think about it, just go and do it.

2. Don't think about the invitations for a week. You have time. Don't brood, just put them out of your head for a little while.

3. Sorry to hear about your cousin. But there's no point in worrying about what it might mean in terms of your wedding - there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change it. Do they live close by? If so, it's possible your Aunty and Uncle would get away for a short while. If not, have a contingency - a brother? your Mum? a BM? your groom?

4. Your Dad will be there in spirit and heart. But there's no chance he'd want you ruining make-up, so have a few moments in the morning, take a walk, run, shout, whatever, do what you need to do.

5. Money worries are common, but not insurmountable. I promise you it will be the most perfect wedding you have ever been to. You will not care what people think, but they won't think anything except how lovely it all is. Do YOU go to weddings and pick them apart? No, thought not.

6. Dress wobbles are common. You will like the dress when it arrives because you liked it when you tried it on and liked it when you bought it. All brides look utterly radiant, whether they are a size 6 or a size 36.

7. Breathe.
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Beginner October 2013
*gnashers* · 21 May, 2013 at 14:53
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Can't add any more to what Footlong said.

It will be OK, honest!
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Beginner July 2023 Buckinghamshire
Judesmummy · 21 May, 2013 at 16:45
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Bless you hun, can I just add that you shouldn't worry whether YOUR wedding will be 'good enough'!! It is about you and your H2B and the love you have for eachother. I started wondering the same in the early planning days, we were going for the big posh do. In the end though, we decided it wasn't 'US' and that our love and just having family & friends around us was enough. Which is why we switched to a registry office with a capacity of 50 inc ourselves, & our reception is at the local footie club. Take some time to relax, make a list of what needs doing, you'll feel much better each time you know you can tick something else off it xx
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Beginner September 2012
porkchop · 21 May, 2013 at 17:42
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As long as you want to get married to your OH, and these worries arent to cover the fact that you have doubts, then all will be fine!

Maybe delegate some stuff?
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Beginner December 2014
Soontobe_mrsG · 21 May, 2013 at 19:35
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I think if you focus on the things you can do, and get them done, you might find a little more in control of it all

Basically I agree with the first poster (who's name I can't ever remember when I cant see it to refer to!)

do the registrar pieces, its a quick thing to to do and lasts a year, so once its done you can breathe

Its horrible your cousin is in hospital, but maybe you shouldn't assume your uncle wont be there for you , its one day, and things have a way of working out

You loved your dad, and he wouldn't want you to spoil your day , so think of him in the morning, and know he's there all day, every day, then paint your face on and make him proud(er)! of you ...

ITs your day, it will be good enough, because its the day you want and will have - please enjoy the fun of planning for it

thinking of you x
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Beginner June 2013
mum-wants-a-hat · 21 May, 2013 at 19:42
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All I can say is listen to FTLOMB.... She knows what she's on about :0)

Couldn't have put it any better myself and I agree wholeheartedly xx
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Beginner May 2014
Ohwhatatuesday · 21 May, 2013 at 20:07
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FTLOMB has given amazing advice and I can't add anything to that but just wanted to say sorry to hear about your cousin and that you're feeling a bit down about it all and hope you start to feel better about it soon!
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