head table

I'm sorry, but I would never do that. I wouldn't want my mum to be uncomfortable, as I want our wedding to be enjoyable for everyone there. Seating separated couples together is a recipe for disaster, or at the very least will ruin the meal for them. Sure, it's your wedding, and they're your parents, but let them sit with their partners, not their exes. How awkward!

Our top table will have Anthony and I and our groomsmen and bridesmaids. One one on each side is married, and our top table will connect to other rectangular tables, so their spouses will be seated at the connecting tables on either side.

If your mum was shocked, but 'prepared' to do it for you, don't do it. You want your mum to be excited about everything about your wedding, not dreading the meal.

My mum and dad get on extremely well and traditionally it would be my mum sat next to htb and his mum sat next to my dad so its not really anyone sat with there exes

Hi,

Im no where near doing my table plan yet and luckily only one set of our parents are separated (plus oh will not be inviting his real dad long story) but I have been to two weddings where they have had both sets of separated parents at the top table, it's not set out in the traditional way but it means you'd have your mum and dads up there with you just with there new partners too. Think my friend had hers laid out like this .......

Groom step mum, groom dad, groom step dad, groom mum, groom, bride, bride mum, bride step dad, bride dad, bride step mum

She then had a table with the bridesmaids, best man and ushers etc separate.

Traditionally the top table should be laid out like - cb, groom dad, bride mum, groom,bride, bride dad, groom mum, best man -

the parents wouldn't sit next to their ex's anyway so they should for one meal be able to sit away from their new partners!! Hope they all manage to do this from you x

OH's parents are divorced and in new relationships, plus the best man's wife and maid of honour's husband won't really know anyone so we're not having a traditional top table. We're going to have me, OH, best man+wife, maid of honour+husband on our 'top table' then each set of parents hosting a table.

My folks are not together and do not get on at all. Mum will be their with her partner (long story but guy she ran off with) and Dad hates him!

Df's folks have never met my mum, so was too nervous to put them together ( another long story) so df and i decided to sit with his son and girlfriend, cb, bm and two other bm's.

Each "parent" then has their own table which they are 'hosting"

Have you considered just having a sweetheart table for you and OH? That way everybody can sit with their partners and you get some alone time with your hubby.

I think it if they are willing to do it and it is what you want then go for it, it is 2 hours out of there life and then they can move to where ever they want, Im sure that they have spent more than 2 hours apart so it shouldn't be that hard for them, is there any way that you can put there new OH's on tables that are close to the top table so they still feel like they are near them? If my daughter ever gets married and this is what she wants I would certainly do it for her, I cant stand my ex but I love my daughter more.

My OH and I are having a table just to ourselves for our meal, but close to a table with my bridesmaid and best men and partners on, and another one where our two sets of parents will be sitting together. Our reception is in our favourite restaurant, and we wanted it to be quite informal and also feel like everyone has gone out for a meal with friends and family during dinner. I also thought it was nice for the two of us to be alone, although my mum took some convincing as she just assumed we would be having the traditional top table. But it's true, the time we will be sat together won't be long and the restaurant is quite small. I'm just hoping some guests don't get offended and feel like we're ignoring them......

I attended a wedding where the Groom's parents were divorced. I don't know how long for but I got the impression they did not get along. It was a fairly large wedding (and one where you don't get to sit next to your partner....grrr. pet hate) so each parent hosted a table with partner. It worked really well and they got to be with their side of the family which was handy for table planning. To make it fair, the bride's parents did the same, and all three tables surrounded the Bride and Groom who sat with BMs and GMs. The meal itself doesn't last that long compared to the whole day, and you can walk around as much as you want.

The set up worked really well and I would do this if either of our parents were divorced. If you think everyone will just get on with it and not cause hassle then have your top table as you've suggested. Otherwise you could float this idea. Or use it as a threat to anyone who is a whingey willie!

Both sets of parents are separated, my mum remarried last year and both of OH's parents have partners. We are having are parents at the top table in the traditional layout i.e MOB next to FOG, MOG next to FOB. Their partners will be seated with other family members. Haven't had any problems with this, both of our parents split in recent years so this way feels right for us, by that I mean that I would probably feel differently if my mum's husband helped to raise me. I don't think there's any problem with having your actual parents there and just making sure that their partners are seated with family. It's only a couple of hours ?

I really want the head table traditional i have thought about having just myself and htb are having the bm and cb with us but im having a fairy light backdrop and a fairy lit head table and it would be too small of a table if i just had us to do this, have also thought of having everyone on head table but dont think the table would fit in the room andz if im honest i dont want it like that, both sets of our parents partners will be sat with there family on the closest tables to us. we are not even having our 4 year old daughter sat with us as she wants to sit with her cousin so she will be sat on the table right in front of us with my brother and his family its very hard work this as i really do want the tradition even though i know everyone is separated i know everyone is ok with it other than his mum as we havent mentioned it yet she likes to have a fall out over small things so the reaction to this is expected to be huge x

My OH's parents and divorced and re-married and we only had the talk yesterday about where people could sit.

OH's mum has an 11 yr old and OH also has a daughter from a previous relationship so we would need someone to sit near these ideally.

Initially I thought that parents and new partners would sit at the top table but to be honest we just wanted everyone to be happy so just asked the question 'where would you like to sit!?'

OH's mum is extremely laid back and said that she wouldn't want to sit on top table and would prefer to be sat with her younger son and grandaughter. She said although other people might gossip and think it is a bit strange that it is where she will feel most comfortable sitting.

Parents dont sit next to partners any how - the MOB sits next to FOG, so not like they are sat with exes. Its a couple of hours surely they can deal with it for there own children!

I know it's a little cheeky but could you just not say anything to her and let her find out on the day? Obviously I don't know her so don't know if this would just make a bad situation worse but thought its worth a mention.

I have seriously considered this ha then if she doesnt like it she can choose to either lump it are have a fit in front of everyone and not join in with the meal, i have purchased wine charms as favours and done special ones for the head table so want all of it to look put together right x

I think it's a little inconsiderate too.

My father isn't coming to the wedding as he's not invited, due to how uncomfortable my mother would feel...and they're still together.

I think you should consider having their partner's on. Tradition is overrated and often selfish, where weddings are concerned.

As i said the table isnt big enough to seat the partners and its just not what i want im not trying to be selfish i just want my day to be how i dremed it would be