Heartbroken :-(

Sweetie, first of all, massive massive hugs. Personally I think you need to get the kids out of the house and have it out with him. It's likely to turn into shouting/ crying and you don't want your kiddies experiencing that. I'm not too sure what to say. He obviously wants to be with you as your planning a wedding. But what the hell??

Just be very careful that August is soon aproaching and if he says sorry and he will never donit again could you trust him? Or even believe him? Just because you've started arguing is no excuse for him to go shagging around.

really hope you manage to sort this out whether its together or alone

xxx

First of all ?

Secondly is there enough information in the emails to prove he actually met someone?

I know some guys get off on the fantasy of meeting someone or carrying out certain sexual activities but that's all it is a fantasy they don't actually go through with it.

I'm so sorry. That is terrible and I would be exactly like you. I dont know how you are holding it together when you are with him. Confused Bride is right ... I would arrange for your children to go to their grandmas or relatives and then talk to him. You have to talk to him or this will eat you up inside. I dont know what to say as nobody can tell you what you should or shouldnt do, I only know what I would do. I have had a previous partner be unfaithful to me and whilst I forgave him because I loved him I never trusted him again. Turns out I was right not to though as he did it again! Needless to say we broke up. I really feel for you.

I imagine he will say that it means nothing as not seeing these woman, just having casual encounters. That wouldnt wash with me because whilst it may not mean anything to him it does to you.

All I say is that you need to talk to him, hear what he has to say and then take some time to decide what you are going to do. Big hugs xxx

How awful, am so so sorry that you are going through this. No-one can tell you what the right or wrong thing to do is - only you know that in your heart. But at the very least speak to him - he owes you an explanation at the very least. I'm hoping you get through this without too much more pain, you've experienced enough already. Stay strong lovely x

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Its a horrible situation for anyone to be in and you must be devastated at finding such things.

You need to speak to him to establish if he met any of these people, he may have just got off on the thrill of the messages but didn't take it any further.

You will torture yourself until you know for sure. I know its going to be difficult bit try stay calm when you do ask him as he will probably be more willingbto talk and tell things if you appear reasonable even if you are screaming inside.

We are all here for you for when things get too much and you just need an escape or a rant. X

Just dreadful to read this

Can't really offer any advice, just ?

Thanks girls, I am in bits. He has made one booking for £20 which was for 25 mins, I think this may have been a webcam thing?! It's def not for lack of trying on his part if he hasn't met anyone. Although in one of the msgs it says I saw one of your girls last week & she was really nice but have u got any younger girls, which implies he has met up with some of them.

I am going to get my sister to watch the children & have it out with him but I know deep down he'll deny it all & I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him again. I just feel like it hurts more that's he going along with the wedding & all the planning, getting really excited about it all & all the time he's been doing this. X x

I didn't want to read and run but you really need to talk to him.

As much as my H isn't perfect I couldn't have married him with any question marks hanging over us. Only you know the boundaries of your relationship but you need to talk about this and accept no B.S. I know it's not ideal having looked on his phone but you wouldn't have looked if there wasn't something niggling you. I've only looked on my H'd phone once and that was the one time there was something bugging me, though not of this nature. He didn't argue about how he was caught but how we could fix it, if that's any consolation?

Big hugs x

I'm so sorry to read this, what a horrible thing for you to find out. As others have said the only thing you can do is confront him. Big hugs to you though and I hope you're ok

You poor thing. Really sorry to read this. Unfortunately there isn't really an easy answer. I think, as the others have said, you need to have it out with him. I think it would be difficult for him to deny it, seeing as you have already read that he has made bookings, etc.

I know thia doean't aound helpful now, but in the long-term I think it's a good thing you found out now, before the wedding, so that whatever you decide, you are making a truly informed decision.

Big hugs. x

I'm so sorry to read what you're going through. I am in awe of your strength.

Betrayal is a terrible thing and once you feel you have been betrayed it is hard to trust anything that person says again. I have found that if the person tells you about their betrayal before you find out, or if they admit things they have done without you saying what you know then reconciliation is a little easier. The worst thing about confronting betrayal is further betrayal in the form of lies and displacement.

As previous posters have said, no one can tell you how to deal with the situation and I am so sorry that you are having to face this situation. I hope you have people around you that you do trust to support you whilst you are dealing with it.

First of all, massive hugs for you. I'm not sure if I could have held it together this long. I agree with all of the other advice, you need to talk to him. I couldn't go in to a marriage with this hanging over the relationship, it needs to go in to with complete honesty. He might deny it, and will probably get angry but there are clearly things that need to be discussed.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through something like this and I hope that something is resolved after talking it through

Wow im so sorry its just awful how he could treat you this way! but i agree thank goodness you found out now and not after the wedding. its your relationship and you need to tell him you no and get this sorted for your sake! i think for me it would be the fact that he has put my childrens family life at risk for his own pleasures thats what id find hard to forgive. stay strong for your kiddies sake their all that matter. xx

I don't normally comment on this sort of thing as I am no good at offering advice, but I really felt for you when I read this.

You poor, poor thing! Men can be such bloody IDIOTS. You have to talk to him as soon as possible, and don't deal with this by yourself. Have you spoken to anyone else- you mentioned your sister- have you told her? Feeling like you've been betrayed by the one person you never expected to is the very worst feeling ever. You know that it's important that you consider the children, but you are also a human being whose emotional wellbeing is just as valid, and you are just as important as them so you need to consider your own feelings too.

I really, really hope you get this sorted out in some way. You've got tonnes of support right here! Take care of yourself.

Hugs from me sweetie. I'm with everyone else when they say you need to talk to him.
TBH if that was me and there were messages saying he had met with one I would have kicked him straight out of the door but then I don't have children with my OH yet. I've been betrayed before with someone I thought I was going to marry and I wouldn't want to go through it again so my heart goes out to you sweetie xxx ?

I'm sorry to hear this, anon. Only you can decide what you're prepared to put up with but if I were in your shoes Mr Stork would be out on his arse. I wouldn't allow him to treat me with so little respect.

This I'm afraid.

Sorry you'e going through this.

100%. Not saying it would be easy, but God knows, you're better than that. If he's done it once, he'll do it again.

How awful for you. If it was me I would have said something straight away. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. I suppose it depends on whether you can forgive and trust him again but I know I wouldnt be able to.

Really sorry to read this. I had a friend who went through something similar, and he just kept twisting it round to make her think she was going crazy. Please don't let him continue to treat you like this, you don't deserve it.

xxx

So sorry to hear this. As has been said, only you can decide how much you are willing to put up with and whether you can move on from this, but you really need to have it out with him as soon as you can for your sake and the kids'. If I had any evidence that my OH had actually met somebody else he would be straight out the door and I would change the locks. I hope you can get some answers soon.

No advice to give as i think the others have said it all, massive hugs

There's nothing I can really add that hasnt been said already :-( Can't begin to imagine how horrible this is for you, sending you lots of love xx

Sending you big massive hugs!!!... thats is terrible!......... ☹️

You definatly need to have it out with him and get thr truth out of it or it will eat you up and destory you as a person!!!..... Men are so stupid!..

I have gone through my OH's fone on more than one occasion when he has gone out and got drunk and found messages - it was horrible and i couldnt trust him for so long afterwards - if im honest i dont 100% trust him now, but then ive never trusted anyone fully because im just not like that. It does make you feel better once its all out in the open though. If its there in black and white he really cant deny it.!! you found the emails and have seen the account and message's, his best option would be to be honest with you and then you can go from there.

No one would blame you for calling of your wedding though - so dont even worry about that. Same as no-one would think anything bad of you if you wanted to try and work it out.

I really hope it gets sorted! xx xx xx

First of all i'm really sorry you're going through something like this. What a horrible situation to find yourself in and massive hugs to you.

I know we all say if this was me blah blah but none of us know what we'd really do in this situation until we have been through it. On the other hand you have yourself and your kids to think about. Think about how you feel towards him right now. Can you continue to keep it to yourself and not let it affect your relationship? Are you already pulling away? If so you're kids will notice the change even if he doesn't.

I don't think I would be able to put up with it and I'd probably kick him out but then if it actually happened I have no idea what I'd do.

Best advice I can give you is arrange for kids to be elsewhere as you've said and have it out. See what he says and see how you feel about it after that. I can't say there'll be a decision making revelation after you've had it out but on the other hand you'll know how you feel about it all and whether there is a future chance for you guys.

Good luck, I hope it goes okay and don't rush anything...think about it. If you need any further help, advice or just to rant we're all here xx

So sorry you are going through this. All I would be asking myself is how can he plan to get married and commit his life to you in a few months when he isn't even doing that now. What is suddenly going to change on that day in August in his mindset? Even if he has yet to do the deed itself, his intentions are clearly to be unfaithful to you.

As painful as it is in the short term to let go, the person you choose to spend your life with is someone who you can trust and has the respect for you that you deserve.

I saw this last night and went to bed thinking about it, but had no constructive reply. Unfortunately today I still have nothing helpful to say but just to say big higs and good luck with the discussion. Keep us posted, and well done for being brave and sharing x

I can't offer any advice that hasn't been said already but didn't want to read and run. Hugs x

I did not want to read this and run. Firstly like everyone else has said , you need to speak to him and confront him with your findings. Of course he will deny it but the truth will come out eventually and you need to get to the truth before you go any further with your wedding.

He may love you with all his heart and have a desire for other things that he thought you would not like ( I am not making excuses or trying to find reasons for his behavior) , together with support and counselling you may get through this but like the others say only you know the boundaries of your relationship.

Without knowing the truth this is going to eat you up.
I hope you are ok and that you get the chance to sort this as soon as possible.

Sending love and hugs, good luck x

?

Didn't want to read & run, but nothing to add to previous posters.

So sorry to hear this. Only you know how to deal with this, I can join the others in awe of your strength. My OH used to use prostitutes regularly before I was with him, and has assured me it was a purely physical thing with no emotional connection.

We have two children together and if I found what you have I would have to end it. Betrayal is too much for me. He deserves to be given the chance to talk it through with you, however. You have 'evidence' so confrontation should bring about some answers for you.

At least by finding out before the wedding you have the chance to sort things and make an educated decision.