Heartbroken :-(

I can only echo what everyone else has said- i hope you manage to talk to him- everyone is different but boyo would be outta here if he did this, comes down to respect imo.

Take care of yourself and your kids before all else!

Thanks so much for all of your advice. I always said if he ever cheated on me or anything we would be over straight away but it's so different when it happens to you. If we didn't have children together that would be it straight away.

My sister & mum know & they are both disgusted, my mum wants me to tell him to leave. I'm going to say something next week as were both working late this week & I want to be able to do it face to face. Hes good at making me think im paranoid & probably that ive just imagined it all! I think I know deep down we are over, i'll never be able to trust him again, I'm just so glad i found out before the wedding. Men are bloody idiots!!

Thanks everyone for the advice, it's helped offloading a bit :-) x x

Hey sweet,

I agree u need to av it out with him and how ur not shouting at him I don't no! I would be.

Im just going to play devils advocate abit here. I completely agree he should not of dun this at all however I also believe there is always a reason for behaviour and its never a 1 way thing. Not that I no anything about u or ur relationship but having two kids maybe he's not getting the attention from you that he wants? Guys are alway weird and maybe he doesn't perceive this as cheating as there's not emotional connection and it just sex? This could be his way of trying to deal with an issue I.e not being full fill sexual without hurting someone he loves as he obvious never thought you would find out and bringing up a subject like I want more can be difficult and he might of thought it would hurt you too much.

I'm not excusing him at all and a discussion is the only way to find put what he was thinking. Don't give up on ur relationship you can work things out but u might need help like relationship counselling? Me and OH had to go wen we had massive issues but now over a year on we are stronger than ever. Chin up sweet no matter what you decide to do it will all work out xxx

Firstly, my sincere sympathy. I can't imagine what this would feel like. If I thought in a million year my OH was capable of this, I wouldn't be on hitched, so I guess my advice can only come from a practical sense.

Firstly, I don't think anyone has touched on this but your OH has been looking for bareback with these women sex. Please, please consider getting yourself tested. It's not a pleasant experience but not as bad as a shock down the road. You don't have evidence that he has met these women but you may not be getting the full picture. People have been having illicit sex with prostitutes and strangers since long before the Internet was invented.

Secondly, I know of three people who had serious doubts before their wedding but didn't put the breakson because they felt trapped and they had spent so much money. In each case, the divorce proved more expensive in the end

Like, I said, I can't begin to imagine how you feel but please don't do nothing.

Red, im sorry you are going through this. It's any girls worst nightmare and your emotions will be up in the air at the moment as you dont have the answers to all your questions. It will be hard to confront him but you have been so strong get this far without laying into him, but you do need to face it sooner rather than later, the longer you leave it the more it will eat into you but I do agree you should wait until you can do it face to face. You dont want this to be confronted over the phone or in a text as it gives him the thinking space he does not deserve and an escape from that conversation. No one can tell you what to do, and right now everything will be up in the air. There is no right or wrong way, you just have to do whats best for you. I understand its hard when children are involve, you feel so protective of those kids but please remember a happy mum makes for happy kids too. He has a lot of explaining to do. Best of luck with everything and again, im really sorry xx

This is so sad I feel awful for you. That is one of my worst nightmares - I wouldn't know what to do in your situation. Really hope that everything works out for you, whatever you choose to do. You are strong and can get through it with support from your family and friends.

He is the one who made the mistake, don't feel that it is at all your fault just because you had an argument! Arguing didn't lead to you cheating so what's his excuse?

Big *hugs*

So sorry to read this...... Big hugs

First massive hugs to you, I second advice you need to confront this, you deserve so much better than someone who treats you like this.

from what you have said that evidence is pretty damning.

Really feel for you. Everyone has offered advice and I don't have anything to add except ?

Let us all know what happens. ?

I don't have anything to add either hun but wanted to say I'm thinking of you xx

Thinking of you. ? xx

How are things with you did you get chance to speak with him? I hope you are ok

Hoping you got sorted and the one thing that I was thinking while reading and finally someone posted...PLEASE get yourself tested. That would be my step number one. (not that the outcome would change how I feel). Even though you have a family and kids to think about, remember this is your life and you need to be happy. A marraige where you arent happy is just a life sentance.