Hello

Hello

welcome to hitched, first breath! you have ages!

first thing to remember is have who you want at your wedding and by your side. I am only inviting 5 members of my family because i dont see the rest of them unless someone dies or gets married. its a day for me and my H2B and the people that are important to us. people will understand .

i'm having one BM - true frinds will understand your choices

and finally you dont have to be christened to get married in church.

there is a wedding planning tool on here - just decide on the basics first when and where then start to worry about details

and if all else fails there are loads of lovely people here to help

Hi

Take a deep breath it will all be fine. wedding politics is a nightmare but try to remember its your day. we decided not to invite anyone we hadnt spoken to within the last 12 months and im only inviting my two aunts with their husbands im not bothering with all the cousins.

If your worried about your friend try talking to her, you might find she has the same concerns as you. There is a good planning section on here and im sure the other ladies will be able to give you some great advice ( im the most unorganised women in the world!) and you have given yourself plenty of time.

Good luck

x

Hi & welcome to hitched. Now just take a deep breath & relax. I too am getting married in 2010. I partner proposed in mid march & when I started looking at venues I started to panic that everywhere I wanted to have my wedding were getting booked out really quickly. We went round at easter & booked a venue but other than that & ordering save the date magnets we haven't really done anything else. I'd say the 1st thing to do is look round venues and book somewhere. It feels so good to have a date to work round. When in 2010 are you planning to get married? We're having our civil ceremony at the same venue aas our wedding breakfast & evening reception & our venue seats 100 for ceremony. I'd suggest looking on web sites then making appointments to go round & see places for yourselves.

As for bridesmaids. I orginally wanted 8!! I've managed to scale it down to 6 (2 sisters & 4 close friends) we're also having 6 'best men', 2 flower girls (will be 6 & 2 years) & 2 paige boys (will be 3 & 2 years)! I know its a lot but at the end of the day you have to have what you want.

Good luck with your planning & try not to stress too much x

Welcome to hitched Oats ?

Take a deep breath...2010 is still a good bit away, what date are you getting married on?

I 2nd what sophy has said about true friends understanding your choice, if you don't feel like you can ask your friend to be a parrt of your bridal party due to her illness I'm sure she will love to help you out with your planning, she will still be involved and if you are having a civil ceremony your sister won't need to be standing by your side during your vows, she can take a seat ?

We are all here to help with your planning as well, some expert googlers hang round here to can help with finding somewhere to hold your guests, just let us know where you are looking to have your venue and we will gladly help ?

Hi and welcome!

I wouldn't worry about having planned nothing so far, I'm planning mine in 8 months and so far it's all been pretty easy, I'm sure the worst is yet to come though!

With regards to your bridesmaids it's really up to you, your sister shouldn't feel silly being the only (adult) bridesmaid. I was sole BM at my friends wedding last year and just felt more special because I was the only one! Equally though if you want more than just your sister go ahead. I don;t know if it would add more pressure to your friends disorder or not though.

You don't need to be christened to have a church wedding.

The first thing to do is get a rough to good idea of what your overall budget. Then sort out a venue, have a look at a few on-line to get an idea of what is on offer and then go visit some.

I wondered this too, as teehee and I discussed this once.

? hello and welcome.

Hello and welcome to Hitched.

Nothing more to add on the bridesmaid situatiion. As for venues, have a look on here to see what is available in your area. I'm sure there are loads of hitchers who had more than 40 guests at a civil ceremony.

Aaaannnnd breathe,,,,,,,

Hi Oats, now you are on Hitched all your stress will disappear - promise!

Just try and remember its your and OH's day and don't gte too stressed by family members demands. Try and enjoy all the planning and not worry too much

Where are you in the UK - we can probably give some advice on venues

Hi Oatsosimple (funny name by the way!) ?

Just wanted to firstly say congrats, and don't stress yourself out. I am a fellow 2010 bride and I am also having a civil ceremony - we have 110 day guests coming to ours so there are definitely civil ceremony venues, and some beautiful ones at that, which can hold more than 40 guests. Whereabouts are you looking to get married? There will probably be loads of Hitchers who can help you with venue recommendations.

Wedding politics can be madness, as someone else said, but do try and set a precedent from the start that it will be your day and try and not let people butt in too much. You're never going to please anyone but I understand you don't want to cause any friction during your planning. It's all about finding a happy medium!

With regards to where you start with planning - if I were you I'd start with the venue research, put a post out for 'Civil ceremony venue recommendations in [your area]' and you should get loads of help. Then arrange a few viewings and you should hopefully find one you like. After that you can maybe start thinking about the other 'bigger' things on the day like the photographer, florist, wedding car (if you're having one), DJ. But take one thing at a time, you still have plenty of time to plan stuff without stressing out.

Oh and welcome to Hitched by the way! You'll like it here ?

Hello and welcome ?

First of all, don't panic or stress or anything. You have looooads of time. I would say start off by roughly working out how many guests you think you might want to invite for both the day and then the evening and then that helps to focus on what size venue you need. I'm having a civil ceremony and our venue can hold 60 daytime guests and a further 60 for the evening, which we thought was pretty good. Whereabouts in the UK are you?

Hi everyone

Thank you all for your replies and friendly welcome ?

I am looking for a venue in the South East area, I live in Croydon area but my family are based north of the river, so thinking surrey, essex kent as a location. I just want somewhere picturesque for the photos yet convenient for both families.

I will put out a suggestion about Civil Venues...in fact after reading I COULD get married in a church I prompted to find out where my other half was christened. He had told me he was C of E who will marry you if you are not religious. It turns out he is RC, who are slightly stricter!

I think a civil ceremony is what I would prefer though, as church one limits us to the area we live in......

Another boggle I have is budget. I have available £7k.......that is to pay for cermeony, dress, suit hire, bm dress, reception and entertainment plus food for evening guests, flowers, photographer. I know some people get married on next to nothing, but I feel like its impossible to get anywhere with that amount. Have any of you guys got a similar budget you could advise me?

x

Hello and welcome! I luuurrve Oatssosimple so fab choice of username!

I had a civil ceremony in a small venue and only invited immediate family and very close friends with everyone else in the evening. It was lovely, I got to talk to everyone and it felt really intimate.

Your budget sounds fine, perfectly do-able. Some of the best weddings I have been to have been on a controlled budget so it means nothing how much you spend.

I think having your sister and a flowergirl would be lovely, your sister doesn't have to walk up the aisle if she doesn't want to and can be seated during the ceremony. I am a firm believer that people should have what they want at their wedding and not worry what others think or try to please other people. I walked down the aisle on my own, had a top table for just me and H and had a speach from my FIL rather than my dad who I am not close to so do what feels right x

Hi there, have just replied to your post about venues but seen extra questions on here so thought I;d add to it!

7k is definately do-able for a wedding. And if you find the perfect venue but it's slightly out of budget then you can always consider getting married on a Sunday or weekday which generally works out cheaper. For example, our venue charges a £2k hire charge on a Sunday, £1200 on a Friday / Sunday and nothing during the week so definate savings can be made there!

Don't stress though, you plenty of time!!

Hello!!!!

As every has already said.. no stress... you've ages!!! ?

Your budget is more than do-able. First off have a look round for venues and check out the packages. Then you'll have rough idea what you can allocate for bm dresses, suits, flowers, your dress etc.

Do you have any idea about numbers??

Also, you'll save money by making stuff like favours and invites (and have fun too!) lol Do you have an uncle whos pretty good with a camera or an aunt that is good with flowers??

if you get stuck with any thign or just looking for ideas give the ladies on here a shout - they're all very helpful and really honest! lol

Nice to 'meet' you

x