Hello...

Bluey I had no idea!! Congratulations! Will obviously keep schtum. x

Ah thanks lovey. am walking around like ? when i'm not ?

really hope you're ok stazzle x

Hey! ?

Firstly...omg congratulations, how damn exciting! How far, or is that a secret too at the mo? ?

And thanks...it's obviously horrid, think the fact that it's just 8 months after our pretty lovely wedding is what somehow makes it an even harder pill to swallow. It's affecting my relationship with my parents quite badly too, and I've always been very close to them. But hey ho...just need to do what makes me happy now I guess. We'll see what happens.

Notts Lass...thanks, I do think I may be venting quite a bit in the coming months depending how things go, so apologies in advance for depressing you all and being a general whinger ?

The big Hitched group hug is helping to cheer me up though ?

I'm 8 weeks today so very early on and not telling a soul, apart from internet weirdies, of course ? but yep, it's all very exciting - i am impatient and sh1tting myself in equal measures!

it must be awful to come to deals with at any stage of a marriage - my BIL and SIL have just separated after 10 years of marriage (they have 2 small boys, 5 and 1) and it has hit us all hard too. but as much as we are finding it difficult to deal with, it is much better to split and know it is the right decision than to carry on and everyone be terribly unhappy. i'm sure your parents are upset for you, as opposed to for themselves. 8 weeks, 8 months, 8 years - whatever, you must do what is right for you in the long term.

do stick around, it will be good for you to vent ?

Very exciting indeed, well I hope its a very happy and healthy pregnancy! Any idea if you're going to find out if it's a pink or a blue?

Yeah that is a good point. Thankfully no children are involved with H and I, but it still doesn't make it feel any easier. My parents are upset for me and T, but they've said its also because what they feel they have lost too. My mum said that they were so happy to see their daughter get married and were envisaging the life we would all have, possible grandchildren etc and now thats been 'taken away from them.' As if it's not hard enough to go through at the moment without being put on a bit of a guilt trip like that.

Will definitely try and stick around especially to keep up with everyone's news! Thanks again ?

Bloody hell, that's a bit narcissistic isn't it? with all due respect, that future that they envisaged can still happen. it's not as if you are some old maid on her last legs that they finally managed to marry off? you're still really young, and although you're probably not thinking about it now, there is still PLENTY of opportunity for that in the future. just not with T. sorry that they are being like that.

we'll definitely find out - i am too much of a control freak, and want to know which names i should be choosing and which clothes i should be buying! we think it's a blue one...

? Hi Stazzle

Good to see you. So sorry about your separation ?

Hi Stazzled ? i remember you! Your more than welcome to come and share your problems with us anytime you need to?.

Bluewater, I know you're being serious but ? it did just make me chuckle reading that bit....

Thanks Blue, Dumblespud, Cola and Notts Lass ?

Yeah that's exactly what I was trying to say to them...I'm only 24 for god's sake. But my dad has said if T and I do split up, he feels he won't be able to take any decision I make in the future seriously and he certainly wouldn't be able to take to anyone else I may get together with in the same way he did T (this is obviously all hypothetical at the moment anyway...if T and I do seperate permanently I'm certainly not planning on getting into another relationship any time soon). I can completely understand that it's hard to accept this soon after getting married and that they're going to be hurt and upset, but it seems to them at the moment, it will be like the end of the world if we do split up.

Oooh well maybe I'll have to do a bit of BT lurking to keep an eye on how things are going! Bet the name choosing and the clothes buying will be all so exciting ?

Hey stazzle, sorry its taken me so long to reply to you! I'm truly sorry to hear of your news and I hpe everything works out for you. Its lovely to see you back xx

Hi Teehee, how are you? Thank you...much appreciated ?

I'm doing ok yeah... still crazy the girls here dragged me on to FB eventually lololol.....I bet they regret that now but hey ho, too late, LOLOL....

Yes still only 24...I'm a spring chicken ?

Well I kind of asked my dad that question and he has responded "well the only person that will end up happy out of all of this is YOU, everyone else will be hurt and upset" like it's not hurting both me and T going through this? And surely if we both stayed in a miserable relationship it would hurt us and probably others more in the future...say we stayed together for the sake of everyone else and ended up having bringing children into the equation or something, it could be a lot worse.

I think you're probably right, they are worried what everyone else will think. But I've spoken to external family members, even my nan, and they've all said that we need to do what makes us happy and that although they would be really sad to see us split, they would prefer us to do what's right for us as we're the ones that have to live our lives. So I think it's my parents who have the main issue with it really.

Gah, need a wine ? it's not even midday yet either!

?

Well you look younger than 30, I remember your wedding pics ? not that 30 is old anyway, you're in your prime m'dear! Will you be planning to become a BTer soon too? Amazed at how many of the Hitchers I was planning with are now!

Stazzle so so sorry to hear your news, hope that things work out the way you want them to ? always here is you need us, (well apart from teehee whos usually camped on FB ?)

Bluewater, congratulations on your news, so exciting x

I wish i still got id'd....??

Sorry to be rude, but that's pretty selfish of your Dad.

My Dad got on really well with my ex, but my happiness was all that mattered when we split. And I know that he loves my husband even more than the ex and knows I'm much happier now.

Thanks Zippy. My dad has said this would all be ten times easier for him to take if we had split before the wedding. I said...erm yes it would have probably been easier for us too! My mum even suggested to me the other day that I have something called 'post-nuptial depression' and sent me a link to this article:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2003/sep/14/ameliahill.theobserver

Seriously! It's all getting a bit much to be honest. Apparently my dad has been on the phone to T today asking what happened last night as he knew I was going back to the flat to pick up some post etc, and was asking him if we're going to work things out etc. Is it me or is that getting a bit too involved? It's like he doesn't see us as an adult relationship of our own, rather that we're 2 kids and he needs to get involved and 'sort us out.' ?

Totally none of his business Stazzle. Does he really think you're getting away pain free from this?

I think that's out of order. I can understand that they'd be concerned and want to see you happy, and it seems that in their eyes that you are going to be happier if you can work things out with your H. Maybe they are from the really old school generation where they believe you should stay in a marriage whatever. Really they need to take a step back and just be there for when you need them.

Are you living with them at the moment?

Yeah that's what I tried to say to him RaeF...but when I say that it's painful for me too, it seems his line of thinking is that I'm just being 'selfish' and not considering anyone else's feelings ?

Thanks Zippy. That's exactly how they seem to feel. My dad has said to me "Trust me, T is and will always be the best thing that's ever happened to you, you will not find a better man than him." Yes it's lovely that they think so highly of him, but it's ME that's married to him isn't it?

I'm not living with them at the moment, I'm staying with a single friend. My mum said she would love me to be back there but she thinks we would just all be treading on eggshells around each other and there would be too much friction between me and my dad. Fair point I guess but it kind of makes me feel I wouldn't be welcome back there to be honest.

The only feelings you should be considering are those of you and T, no one else!

Am really sorry to hear all this. If you need a room for a night at all then hop over to Essex and we can go and get drunk together!!