Hello I am new here

Hmmm not really. You could be polite but foreceful. Tbh I organised my whole wedding to elope to Lapland with just two friends. Then told everyone what I was doing but only after the whole thing was booked and organised. No interference, do people trying to make decisions for me. You could find most of what you want before telling people.

I find that people are very ready to provide unsolicited 'advice'! Advice is great when you ask for it but I find that people love to give their opinions on things! To be honest I either just politely listen but try not to take too much of what they say on board if it's not something that we want to do, or also I found that keeping lots of things between me and my partner helped too. It's lovely to chat about the wedding but can open the floodgates a bit! If they're offering to organise certain things for you, I'd thank them but make it clear that you'll do it yourself :-)

Hi Chaffinch,

im not going to lie it's really hard to stop people interfering, I've found it tough. I've just come to terms with the fact that this wedding means a lot to mine & my h2bs family as well and they want to be involved. I'm quite overprotective of my plans, but am learning to delegate, as long as it still fits what I want, and I've learnt to say no I want to do that!

It's your wedding, always make sure you do what you want!

This is such a reassuring thread, I thought I was a total bridezilla being so protective of my plans!

Im afraid there will be a degree of smiling and nodding involved, quite a good line we've started using is "that's a nice idea, we will definitely consider it" then me and h2b have a little pact that we say that (or a variation of it!) to everything and then in the privacy of our own home offer up our honest thoughts to one another.

Another thing we did was decide that we wanted things to be a surprise for our guests (obviously not when and where haha!) but we don't want everyone knowing everything before they arrive so we've told people that when they ask about the wedding that it'll be a little day of discovery for them then if they keep asking questions were like nope you aren't going to brake us, you'll find out on the day! Then the people who are closer to it and know more (bridesmaids, my parents etc)'are on a pact to stick to this too! Another thing this is quite nice for is stopping people saying they particularly hate something you wanted to do as it keeps it so vague they have nothing much to offer opinions on! Hope that helps a bit, but trust me once you let go a bit and accept people will ask all the time and offer a zillion opinions, and employ some of the tactics people suggest on here, you'll feel less like crying everytime someone asks a question!

Hello and congratulations! In my experience I just didn't share my plans until they were booked hehe. When people said what about these flowers I would say lovely but I have booked these what do you think? We allowed parents into the full planning and asked opinions on what they thought of our plans so far and listened to suggestions but didn't take up what we didn't want to we just didn't bring the subjects up again and if they did we just said well we decided in the end that it was a lovely idea but not for us

Lapland sounds lovely ❤️ Thanks everyone for your replies. I think firm but inscrutable is probably the way to go ?

I think people assume things when they hear the word 'wedding' and think they are being very kind and helpful when I really don't want a lot of 'weddingy' stuff.

Also I didn't realise how large the font was in my [collapse]original message, sorry!