HELP

Duplicate post

Despite other people providing you information, have you actually googled your question? It seems that the advice in this thrread is falling on deaf ears and you're focusing on the other bits and getting all defensive.

Agree. You may as well ask a Catholic to get married in a mosque?

Well you ladies have this pretty well covered....is it wrong for me just to sit back and enjoy the read?! (stuck on the train home with little to.do) he he

Ah right - sorry I thought it said you met this year. My apologies.

So you've spoken to your OH's normal church and they point blank refuse to marry you despite him attending regularly? I think this is quite unusual for them to flat out refuse. Did you go and meet the priest?

My mam is Roman Catholic and was able to marry my stepdad (an atheist) in her regular church as it was important to her faith. My dad, although being quite honest with the priest about his beliefs, or lack thereof, only needed to promise that we (the children) could be brought up catholic and that my mam was able to continue practising her faith.

They also had to attend the usual wedding classes together (which are mainly about the promises of marriage rather than about the faith itself).

Um...this.

Why not have a civil ceremony and a blessing. You seem to be randomly picking a church wedding because you can't have a catholic one.

More more more please im enjoying reading this thread - not really got anything to add except if you OH goes to a local church im sure the vicar/priest (whatever they are called) if you sat down with him and asked to marry in his church as your OH attends, i would have expected him to of conducted the ceremony on the promise that 1- you attend church so many times 2- you are deffo there when your bans are read 3- some catholic churches ask you to attend a couples catholic weekend where you get pre marriage guidance.

hello

I am catholic and partner is non religious, therefore we are having a civil ceremony, him declaring love to me in eyes of god wouldnt mean the same to him as declaring it in the eyes of the law ( which he does believe in ). ( for information he has said he would wed in a church if its what I really want)

I agree with other posts, I wouldnt get married in a non catholic church, we are having a blessing by a catholic priest later on, if the priest will agree to this.

Other reason for not marrying in a church - is why should we take that day away from someone else who does regularly go to church and wants that day.

Nothing really to add except awesome thread!

Oh, maybe one thing. Friends got married last year. He is (Spanish) Catholic and she is (Northern Irish) Protestant. They went to the local Catholic priest and explained that they would like to get married in the Catholic church. By being polite and respectful and truthful (her beliefs are fairly encompassing, as much as she was brought up a Protestant, she's not too fussed about the finger details, just knows she believes in some God), the priest agreed with no hesitation. I think the polite and respectful thing is the key point here. Not saying it would be common for a Catholic priest to marry a Protestant, but it just goes to show what can happen when you enter these situations with the correct attitude.

I can actually contribute to this one, my SIL isn't christened and her partner is Catholic. He does attend church most weeks (he does work some Sundays). They are getting married at a different catholic church to the one he normally attends. They also have two children. I don't think they encountered any problems I know of, I'm struggling to understand why the church would say no when your partner is a regular church goer?

Also as other people have said, I don't think its a 'mix and match' situation when it comes to churches, catholics and C of E aren't really the same surely?!

Yeah, the Catholic church didn't really like it when the Reformation happened and a separate church (C of E) was instituted as the state religion in its place. Tends to make those Roman leaders a bit grumpy. ?

The Pope was well p1ssed off.

And all those beautiful monasteries. Ruined.

Hi OP

Don't think your original post gave enough background which is possibly why you're feeling a bit attacked and becoming a little defensive.

From what I have gathered your OH is religious, you are not. You have a son together and he is also religious.

You haven't said whether you have asked his church if you can marry there (apologies if you have but I couldn't see it). Have you? If not perhaps you should.

If not I would ask my H2B if he wanted to get married in the church if it was not "his one" and if so, did he have one in mind.

I always imagined when I was a little girl getting married in church but now, for my own reasons, I don't want to. I'm not against it but I'm not a church goer and therefore it doesn't feel natural to me. Perhaps you still have the rose tinted glasses towards a church wedding but you need to think about what is being said during the ceremony. The fact that "you make these promises before god", "you are gods children" etc. Is this something you want included if you don't feel that way about religion.

Having said that if you have set your mind on a church because you feel that your H2B should be able to get married in a religious place because of his beliefs then you need to explore this with him. He may chose not to because he doesn't fancy getting married any place other than where he attends or if he does, he may know of places that you can do it.

There are massive differences in different religions, I don't pretend to be an expert about the diferences here but I can't imagine someone would get married in a church (or religious house) that did not practice their religion. I'm sure if you suggested to his family (who may nor may not be important to your wedding planning) getting married in a COE church they would be horrified?

Perhaps you should speak to your H2B and see how he feels.

Sorry if you feel a little attacked but the hitchers are here to help, there are just a few rules we all like followed

1. HELP - not a good title ("Can anyone suggest a church in this area who would marry a non Cath and a Cath?" - better)

2. TYPING IN ALL CAPS - makes us feel like you're shouting at us and hurts our eyes!

3. Give information - we can't help if we don't know the background

....to name but a few!

Hope this helped