HELP!!

Have you thought of cars, registrar/church, favours, flowers etc? All things that can be a big expense. Except favours x

Have you involved him in any of the decisions you've made? He might not know what's going on. My H certainly felt left out if I'd told him "oh look at these invites I want" and he didn't even know I was looking at invites!

Other thing is to actually sit down and do a budget together. That's the only way we kept track of where our costs were.

If you've been looking at stuff without telling him, of course he's going to freak out. It's his wedding too, you know. Have you discussed any of your ideas/plans with him? He may even have an opinion on something!!

Could we have it again with paragraphs please? I genuinely struggled to read past about line three of this.

You just need to sit down and sort out a buget together, there's a buget planner on hitched that may help.

I would get the venue booked first so you at least have a date to work towards and know how much of your budget is left. It's lovely browsing and getting ideas but until you know how much money you actually have to play with once the big stuff is done you're not actually going to know which bridesmaids dresses and head dresses you can afford. Everyone prioritises differently but I don't think I'd enjoy wearing an expensive tiara knowing my guests were having to be entertained by an ipod because I'd overspent and didn't budget for a dj or band.

I set a budget then made a spreadsheet with everything we needed and wrote down the expenses- this really helped.

Have you got an idea of how many guests you will be inviting? Then you need to sort out your venue (the venue will probably be the biggest expense so this needs to be sorted out early on), then get your invites out. Or at least send out save the dates if you haven't decided on a venue.

Yeah we went to a wedding show and saw types of cars and i showed him what kind of car i would like, ive showed him were i would like to get married and have the reception and he's picked an alternative, coz my venue may be abit expencive, picked out what favours i would like to give my bridesmaids, we've got someone on standby for flowers. x

Ive tried to envolved him in as much as i could, like if i found something i would like i'd show him then do research to see if i can find it cheaper somewhere else and get his input on it, we've been to a wedding show recently and got his input on everything that was there.

the two venues we've chosen, one is upton gardens (this is where i spent most of my childhood) and we spoke to the manager to find out what we needed to supply and how much it would cost, and its proves that it maybe a bit expensive, so my fiancée has given me an alternative somewhere else that maybe cheaper, and i am considering it.

all of the friends that are on standby to do the cake, photography etc are his ideas as they are his friends, they are mine as well but he's known them longer

i try and involve him in as much as i can, i look then show him, but half the time it seems as if he's not interested.

xxx

You type like you're freaking out! If you OH is like mine you need to pick your moment to actually talk about it. I tend to get mine when we're walking the dog and there's no distractions. It sounds like youve set your total budget, now you need to sit and dscide together what are your 'must haves' that you won't compromise on, and what could maybe give. For example we had a definite tog we wanted, so budgeted for that but compromised on a car. Then you can break down your budget further into venue, outfits, flowers etc. Its very easy to get carried away if you don't stick to it and you dont want to have to sacrifice something important to you both. Have you though about rings? Or suits? And food?

He's right. You are going to go over budget if you aren't very careful. Upton gardens doesn't have a ceremony licence so you are looking at a church wedding (up to 1K if you go for all the bells and whistles (choir, bells etc)) or a registry office wedding (up to 700). Restaurant hire at Upton £200, plus say £35 per head for a very simple meal and half a bottle of wine each. plus welcome drinks.... 50 guests? another 2K at least. If you go for a three course option and champagne for reception drinks you are looking at £60 per head. (3.2K)

That's without clothes, rings, evening reception, transport, cake, photos, invitations, hair and makeup, head pieces, bridesmaids presents, favours, flowers.etc etc

He's getting his friends and family on side to help out with lots of these things becasue he can see where this is headed. The advice you've received upthread is spot on: you need to agree a budget before you go any further so you can budget for the big stuff and then save on the stuff which is less important to you. The thing is that you need to agree priorities at this stage. You can have an amazing wedding for 6K, just not necessarily with everything you are looking at.

Do you watch Don't tell the bride? They have a 12K budget and still struggle to get in all the elements that you are looking at.

Lucky you, marrying someone who knows you so well that he is complementing your actions so you can have this amazing wedding!

Help

Here is a list. Hope this might help you.

1.1.1 Fix Date ................................................................................................................ 4

1.1.1.1 Book Church & Priest................................................................................... 4

1.1.1.2 Book Reception Venue ................................................................................. 4

1.1.1.3 Musicians Availability .................................................................................. 5

1.1.1.4 Family Availability ....................................................................................... 6

1.1.2 Project Charter ..................................................................................................... 9

1.1.3 Success Framework ........................................................................................... 10

1.1.3.1 Project outputs ............................................................................................ 11

1.1.3.2 Critical Success Factors .............................................................................. 11

1.1.3.3 Success Criteria .......................................................................................... 11

1.1.3.4 Risk ............................................................................................................. 12

1.1.4 Complete Project Plan Document ...................................................................... 15

1.1.4.1 Work Breakdown Structure ........................................................................ 15

1.1.4.2 Time Schedule ............................................................................................ 16

1.1.4.3 Resources .................................................................................................... 18

1.1.4.4 Cost ............................................................................................................. 20

1.1.4.5 Procurement ................................................................................................ 21

1.2 Product Work Inputs ................................................................................................. 22

1.2.1 Complete Pre-requisites ..................................................................................... 22

1.2.1.1 Obtain Marriage Registration Form ........................................................... 22

1.2.1.2 Complete Pre-Marriage Course .................................................................. 23

1.2.1.3 Complete Pre-Nuptial Enquiry ................................................................... 23

1.2.2 Complete Church Service .................................................................................. 23

1.2.2.1 Arrange Music & Singer............................................................................. 23

1.2.2.2 Book a Florist ............................................................................................. 24

1.2.2.3 Purchase Rings & Unity Candles ............................................................... 24

1.2.2.4 Pre-determine Church Seating .................................................................... 24

1.2.2.5 Organise Marriage Ceremony .................................................................... 24

1.2.2.6 Complete Marriage Registration Form ....................................................... 25

1.2.3 Organise Bridal Party ......................................................................................... 25

1.2.3.1 Choose the Bridal Party .............................................................................. 25

1.2.3.2 Obtain Wedding Attire & Accessories ....................................................... 25

1.2.3.3 Arrange Make-up and Hairstyle ................................................................. 26

1.2.3.4 Allocate Celebration Speakers/Toast Roles ............................................... 26

1.2.3.5 Produce Wedding Day Itinerary ................................................................. 26

1.2.4 Detail Hotel Services ......................................................................................... 27

1.2.4.1 Discuss Music Choices with Band ............................................................. 28

1.2.4.2 Choose Menu for Meal ............................................................................... 28

1.2.4.3 Organise Wine Reception ........................................................................... 30

1.2.4.4 Cater for Evening Guests ............................................................................ 30

1.2.4.5 Sketch Layout for Tables ............................................................................ 30

1.2.4.6 Rehearse Bridal Party Entrance .................................................................. 30

1.2.4.7 Book Rooms for Wedding Night ................................................................ 30

1.2.4.8 Organise Wedding Cake ............................................................................. 30

1.2.5 Facilitate Guests ................................................................................................. 31

1.2.5.1 Issue Invitations to Guests .......................................................................... 31

1.2.5.2 Invite Guests to Evening Function ............................................................. 31

1.2.5.3 Finalise Guest List ...................................................................................... 31

1.2.5.4 Consider Expectations ................................................................................ 31

1.2.5.5 Plan Guest Table Seats ............................................................................... 32

1.2.6 Arrange Facilitating Services ............................................................................. 32

1.2.6.1 Book Photographer ..................................................................................... 32

1.2.6.2 Book Videographer..................................................................................... 32

1.2.6.3 Book DJ ...................................................................................................... 33

1.2.6.4 Presentations ............................................................................................... 33

1.2.6.5 Book Transport for Wedding Day .............................................................. 33

1.2.6.6 Manage Wedding Day Cards ...................................................................... 33

1.2.7 Arrange Party Events ......................................................................................... 34

1.2.7.1 Organise Honeymoon ................................................................................. 34

1.2.7.2 Organise Stag Party .................................................................................... 34

1.2.7.3 Organise Hen Party ..................................................................................... 34

Just to reassure you, it can be done under a budget especially when you can get as much help as you're getting. Make sure you keep to the budget and do your research, write everything down or use the planner on here and keep a checklist. Remember that while there are some lovely little extras that you might want, they're not vital and if you can live without them then do so xxx