Help family issues!

Very difficult to say without knowing the nature of the conflict.

If it's a series of small spats and disagreements, then I'd say live with it.

If she once punched you in the face and told you she'd only let you marry her brother over her dead body, then that's a different matter.

Is the conflict between yourself and the sister+family or between the sister and her family?

Not an easy one for you, or for people to advise on really.

Assuming that of the approx 20 close family members invited, they would be the only other close family not invited to the day, would it not cause more issues than solve to not have them there?

What does your husband really think? Sounds like he's not really wanting to be the one to cause more issues if they aren't invited?

Is the issue between you & h2b's sister (& her family), or between h2b's sister (& family) and other family too?

You say that they like to cause conflict, but in the same breath are not confrontational at all - i don't understand that one, i'm sorry. I guess i can understand that if there are issues & relations are poor, that you wouldn't want to have to pay for & sit through a meal with people that you don't get on with (and i totally agree with you there), but from reading what i've read (hope i've picked up on this correctly!) there seems to be issues between yourself & your h2b's sister and her partner & children, it sounds like your husband is aware of the issues but not enough to try to solve it nor to disown her as such. I think that the more you think about it, the more you'll worry about it & i guess it's going to be a case of you feeling uncomfortable on your big day or risk causing more conflict if you do choose to put your foot down & not invite them.

I think if it were me, i'd take your h2b'd views into account, but also have a really serious chat about where things go from here. I couldn't invite anyone to my day, where i would be made to feel uncomfortable due to problems i was having with them. What you do decide to do will have implications for both you & your husband to be. You either rick causing more issues by not inviting them, or choose to try & have some sort of relationship with them. What can you all do to try & move the relationships forward? Is that even possible? It can't be easy for your h2b either if he feels torn between the 2 of you.

Thanks for your replies. Its quite complicated and would take a long time to explain but the sister and her husband have a bit of an issue with me and my h2b. The main reason why its hard to elaborate is the conflict is mainly channelled through their mum and dad. At family parties neither the sister and her husband make an effort to speak to my family because there is if im honest a lot of snobbery there. I think for the sake of keeping the peace ill have to put up with it and feel unconfortable, the children dont even bother speaking to me if they see me out because their mum has obviously told them not to. im a little baffled as to why they want to come other than for the free food and a chance to have a ***!!!

I have a simalar problem but mine is with my dads wife, i am having a small wedding with only close family and two of our closest friends. I really dont get on with my dads wife and didnt want to invite her but as it would put my dad in an awkward position I have invited her and sat her as far away from me as possible and have told my dad i dont want her any where ner the preperations in the morning so I dont get myself stressed or worked up. xxx