Help - Family problems - wise words please

I think you need to set him a deadline. Say, two weeks to get a job, and then he's out. He's already had sx weeks, and nothing? Unless you get tough he'll be on your sofa forever.

If he's sat around doing nothing, he's obviously not that concerned for himself and needs a bit of a kick up the backside. In the meantime, ask him to do things - wash up, cook dinner. Make sure he knows that he has no excuse not to do them.

You've been very understanding and helpful already, but don't let him take the pee.

I'm not sure why you think he would behave better at yours when he clearly did nothing at your mum's. Anyhow, is your sister staying with you too? Can you have a word with her to tell him to help around the house and get a job as you're getting fed up? Also, does your sister work? Maybe suggest to her she should pay rent/help around the house.

He's 23 ffs - able bodied (presumably) - frankly he would be on his ear

Deadline for finding job, as already suggested.

Tell him that as he is living there rent and board free, he has to pull his weight in other areas. Cleaning, cooking, washing up, laundry etc.

If no improvement, give him the address of the local sally army, and tell him to pack his stuff and do one.

He'll take the piss if you let him. So tell him that he's not going to.

Really, thanks I just needed to hear I wasn't be a cow from other people i guess. I suppose the thing with the girlfriend hanging over him I've sort of given him a bit of a break, I have had enough though he should have a job by now shouldn't he ? He is able bodied, just seems to go from one temporary job to another. I haven't got my sister here too, just him, eats like a bloody horse though lol

WSS. If he has it easy, why would he want to change it. Give him a deadline and stick to it and in the meantime give him a list of things that need to be done everyday.

The deadline has to be after the court date though you see otherwise if he isn't living with family he is in custody, which considering it will get thrown out is a bit harsh but that's the situation. I will be making that clear though.