Help! Honest Opinions Needed!!

I love your dress!

As for the waistcoats they look as though you are trying to match the antique cream colour of your dress and failing a bit- it clashes to me, BUT that might be the camera/ lighting etc. The waistcoats aren't unpleasant in themselves, I'm just not sure they go. Do they do a blue-and-some-other-colour combo you could swap them for?

I love your dress btw

they look nice but im not sure if they go together but it might just be my eyes or the pictures

Thank you for the replies!! I am not too fussed by the patterned waistcoats but I thought I would leave the choice up to him. I think he wanted to look different to the others as well - my H2B is just having a cream waistcoat which has no swirls. There will only be 3 of them in the swirly ones.

He isn't very happy about me saying I'm not sure now - it's difficult trying to explain to him I'm not sure if they go because of the style of my dress without him seeing it!!

I think that they would look fine. The swirly pattern isn't my taste but I think when it's under the suit jacket and you can only see a little of the pattern it's not that garish. And most of the photos will be with jackets on. In the evening when the boys take their jackets off, how much time will you be spending standing next to them really for people to notice? And by the evening the lights will be dimmed and I don't think it'll matter. I'd say if that's what your OH wants, let him go for it! x

Your dress is beautiful. I would be a little worried about it clashing as the colour looks a little different but that could just be the light and also the pattern but if you h2b is having plain and most of your photos will be the two of you then you could get away with it x

Thank you for the opinions. The more I look at the picture without the jacket the more I don't like them :s but as you are saying they don't look too bad with the jacket on and I guess the majority of the pictures are going to be with jackets on!! Arghhh, I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to force him to change his mind - he has said I just need to let him know what I want him to do but I do know he likes them and it is a decision he made on his own so I feel like I am taking away from that a bit :s

Oh, and thank you for all the comments on my dress!! I am so in love with it can't wait for my first proper fitting!!

While I'm not a fan of swirly waistcoats, I am a fan of letting OHs have a say on what they and their groomsmen wear. If he likes them, let them wear them. They aren't that garish and I doubt anyone will walk away saying what a shame the waistcoats didn't match the dress.

I am beginning to think you are right Bekkijane. He is quite upset about it really, which has made me realise he was quite proud of the fact he had made this decision on his own, and I just don't know if I can bulldoze that without feeling like I shouldn't be forcing him to change his mind. Unfortunately my family have quite strong opinions and I think he sometimes feels like his voice is lost (my sister or mum were actually going to talk to him directly about it and tell him he should change the waistcoats which I absolutely put a stop too when I found out this was what they were going to do!). I am glad I voiced my concerns over them, but I think it is important for him to have something on the day which has been his decision (like my dress and bridesmaid dresses were mine). I'll just ask them if they wouldn't mind keeping their jackets on for the photos!!

Tbh - even if they did clash, does it matter? It's what your OH chose and what he wants to wear. Just like your dress is what you want to wear. That is all thati matters. Are your mum and sisters going to vet the other guests to see if their outfits "match". I think your OH has done a lovely thing and so have you in affording him that lattitude. What if you'd agreed not to see what they were wearing until the day? He has to cope with that Well done you for defending his decision . I think your mum and sisters need to mind their own on this one

Dress is gorgeous - and so are the suits etc. xx

Personally i think they go fine. Im starting to sway that my OH has no input to what im wearing and doesnt see it so why shouldn't he be the same? Mine hasnt been suit hunting yet but i think im gonna leave him to it when he does x

I actually had said I didn't want to see them as I trusted his decision, but he wanted to show me the swirly waistcoats just to check them with me! I have told him that it is more important to me for him to have the suits which he wants his groomsmen to wear, so If he is happy with his decision then I am too. I chose my dress so it only seems fair to me for him to choose suits! Though I have said it would be good if they wouldn't mind keeping their jackets on for the photos ha

I completely agree with bekkijane. I'm really not keen on swirly waistcoats, but, for the most part, grooms don't have much of a say in wedding details, so if he's keen to make this decision by himself, let him. My H chose a completely "out there" suit for himself and his ushers and, whilst it wouldn't have been my first choice, it was something that was important to him, so that made my decision easier.

This is exactly what I needed to read after telling a member of my family that I would absolutely not be forcing him to change his mind - it would be his decision whether to change or not. The reaction I had from them was not great but I am sticking by my guns as I have decided the decision is not mine to make. It is the one thing he has complete say over and it means more to me to let it stay that way than to upset him by forcing him to change his mind. They can keep the jackets on for the photos and he is wedding a cream waistcoat anyway so it won't affect the pictures that are with just the 2 of us!

thank you

It's very sweet that your OH wants to put his stamp on the wedding. I think it would be better to let him get on with it rather than make him change it.

If i'm perfectly honest, I'm not sure i would have even said anything to him about not liking the waistcoats.... He probably spent some time thinking about it so must be gutted ?

Anyway - you absolutely won't notice on the day! And nobody else will either. The waistcoats will be covered up most of the time. It's not going to be a problem.

I am glad I said something as I hadn't seen a picture but my mum and sisters had and they were saying how garish they were. I just asked to see a picture to put my mind at rest and just talk to him about it really. If I hadn't my family would have just gone on about them or spoken to him themselves so I felt I needed something to be able to stand my ground on it! He had also said he was a bit unsure about them to begin with himself so I am glad we actually spoke about it as he has now said he is definitely happy with them and I am happy with whatever decision he has made.

If I had been there or seen photos from the start, I wouldn't have said anything - as you rightly say he was a bit upset by it, but unfortunately my family are strong minded so I definitely felt like I needed to discuss with him to make sure I could properly stand by him having seen the suits he chose! He is much happier now I have said I am happy with his decision and also stick by it. Part of me does wish I hadn't said anything, but if I hadn't spoken to him I would have just been wound up by family unfortunately

Ahhh... that makes sense! Fair enough...

Perhaps it would be a good idea to speak to your family and explain how this has put you in a bit of an awkward position and upset OH? They probably didn't think anything of it and meant well, but it's really not their place.

Glad you've resolved it with OH and are comfortable with it all.

You'll be too busy being happy on the day to notice what anyone is wearing!

Yeh, I have tried to explain it to them, whether they agree or not is a different matter :s

But, as you say I will be too busy to notice them on the day!! I will only really have eyes for my H2B, and he is wearing a plain cream waistcoat anyway

LOVE your dress! However, the colour of his shirt and the background of the waistcoat look like they might clash rather than complement the colour of your dress (unless my monitor isn't picking up the colours correctly). Also, the swirls in the waistcoat seem to be a more modern design compared to the romantic Victorian style and lace of your gown. Also, your dress isn't as formal as his suit.

Your dress is stunning. Really not a fan of the waist coats though.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say I actually like them! I see so many boring waistcoats that its nice to see something with a bit of colour and pattern! And as you said the groom won't be wearing one with the swirls anyway, so I don't personally see the issue.

In reality you can't actually see much of the waistcoat with the jacket on, and I don't think his waistcoat and dress will clash! I don't think any guests will be looking or thinking much about whether the waistcoats match the dress, they will be having too much of a good time enjoying your wedding and celebrating the day with you! All brides must face the same issue, as 99.9% of grooms don't see the dress until the bride is walking down the aisle.

One thing I do get from this forum is that when wedding brain kicks in we worry and stress about things we really don't need to, like colours matching exactly. I personally have never, ever been to a wedding where I have thought the colours don't match, or I don't think the waistcoat's are right etc. At the end of the day the bride and groom have spent years, months, weeks and 1000's of £'s putting the day together that they want, and I'm lucky enough that they want me there.

Your H2B has picked them, he obviously liked them and if anyone else has an issue, tell them to bugger off! Its yours and H2B's decision, no-one else's

No one will be looking at the waistcoats when you are un that dress! It is stunning!!

Thank you!! Desperately waiting for the phone call to say it is in so I can go and try it on again!!

it has been a bit difficult with my family being so strong minded but then I spoke to him and realised it had meant a lot for him to pick them out on his own. He wouldn't dream of forcing me to change my dress so I decided why should I force him to change his groomsmens waistcoats? They will be keeping their jackets on for the photos so it will be fine. I'm not stressing about it - I am sure it won't cross my mind on the day, I will be too busy being happy to care!!

I spent two hours of my life yesterday contemplating tie colours before coming to exactly this conclusion The waistcoats will be absolutely fine x