HELP!! I can't say no to my mum!!!

It sounds like you're very good at saying "no" to your Mum.....

Am I missing something here? Do you actually need help with something?

You seem to be doing everything you want to do. Where have you said that you are having a hard time saying "no" to all of your Mums extensive demands?

?

Sounds fantastic! Ours is similar I think, so I'll be interested to see what you're doing! Although I'm not sure we're having the drum and bass ? Like the others have said, it sounds like you've done well sticking to your guns so far. Are there more traditional elements to the day, like the church flowers, or more formal things that you could involve her in so she feels she's being included (and you feel less guilty!), without her getting involved in the parts you know she won't love?

I agree, a ceremony in a church sounds pretty traditional so try to steer her towards helping with that part so she can be involved without interfering in other parts. And tell her gold doesn't go with the colour scheme.

You have to break some eggs to make an omelette!

You've already made progress, you've bought the dress YOU want and have a set idea on what you would like. Respectfully tell that you would love her involvement and enthusiasm and that your trying to make a day that represents you both as a couple. You'd like advise of how to achieve your plans and ultimately its the couples choice of how to spend their union.

avoid the the word 'but' its negative, try replacing it with 'and'

Personally, I've never understood "breaking it to someone gently".

If someone needs telling, then plain English is the best way. If they get upset, let them sulk. They'll get over it.

Thanks for those who gave postive support,

If you can imagine, my mother is Hyacinth Bucket and I'm Eddie from Ab Fab, we're worlds apart!! But I love her dearly and I don't want to upset her.

I've said yes to loads of stuff, inviting her friends, colours, she wanted me to have other bridemaids, decor, she wants to make my cake, bridesmaids dresses, my dress at one point, make all the other cakes were having, choose the band and music, flowers, at one point she even tried to choose my wedding ring for me, do I need to go on.

We have got somethings we wanted, but not with out tears (on my part) as whatever me and my OH choose is rubbished!!

Sharnaschuh, it's hard for mum's of the older generation who have certain expectations etc. It's not the 50s anymore, but they don't seem to have moved on! Luckily (well, kind of) my mum is only 17 years older than me (gymslip!!!) and I grew up in care so I have none of these problems (although others to make up for it, hehe)...

I think your wedding sounds great, exactly the kind I'd like to be invited to (mind, I'm not sure about drum and bass but thats me), not too many worlds away from ours. I suppose it depends if your mum is contributing. From what I've read on here, parents who put towards think that gives them rights over stuff. I guess the best thing to do is have a *family meeting* (vomit, I know) and set out exactly what you all expect from the start then negotiate agree - I know its shitty but it's kinda what you'd do with a staff team working on a big project, and at least you all know where you stand. With weddings, we all assume other people will know and therefore respect our feelings - she is probably just as annoyed that you are being so 'inconsiderate' (that's not my opinion btw) so thrash it all out with them all.

Sorry for the ramble

Alright, then on side withg imzadicoleoidea then, she needs to step down. seriously. why isn't some mothers want to re-live there lives through their daughters? ... maybe it time to so sly. start booking things and agree things with vendors without your mothers input what so ever. sort of like what Gracefly had to do here (though i know her story is a little different)

She's not getting married YOU ARE.

PS Elixia, I saw this and thought of you!

http://www.likecool.com/Body/Food/Super%20Mario%20Kart%20Wedding%20Cake/Super-Mario-Kart-Wedding-Cake.jpg

Thats Awesome!