Help me! Hubby to be, me and my parents are arguing over the venue!

Oh dear!

Its difficult pleasing everyone isn't it?

As a compromise have you thought about getting married in the UK and then having a blessing abroad or visa versa?

PS Hello and Welcome to hitched!

For now, leave your parents out of it, what they want really doesn't matter until you and your other half can agree. The fact they are paying is a very generous offer, but you need somewhere you and OH are happy, not them, they are secondary.

Sit down and talk to him about why you dont want to go abroad, and give him the chance to explain why he does. There may be a compromise you can both be happy with if you are both aware of each others feelings.

I agree with this. You need to have a proper discussion with your OH about this and reach a compromise you are happy with. Hope you get it sorted soon.

Thanks all for your messages - I do like the idea of having a blessing in another country but he keeps coming up with "the children have never had a proper holiday and this way we can all be together". I did also suggest that if we have the wedding in the UK, we should be able to afford a honeymoon in another country so we get the best of both worlds but he didn't agree.

We have talked about it a few times but it always ends up getting really heated as I really want the wedding here and he really wants the wedding somewhere else. I'm actually getting fed up of the whole wedding thing now and we haven't even started

Sounds hard

Maybe you and OH should each write down some reasons why you want to get married home or away and then swap and have a read through? It might be that each of you are sticking to your guns and not fully considering the benefits of the other person's plan?

I'd leave your parents out for the moment, but if they're paying I think they have a small say IMO.

If your OH really wants to marry abroad, why isn't he the one trying to find a venue? Maybe leave that part up to him and marry abroad - then back in the UK, have a traditional evening reception in something thats still a beautiful wedding venue.

I agree that you need to sell your ideas to each other. What is it that made you originally want to marry abroad, but not now? What do you see as the benefits of staying in the UK?

I knew I would never have the wedding I wanted in the UK. I was divorced and my local churches still don't marry divorcees. I also couldn't cope with the idea of people at this wedding who had been at my first wedding, thinking "here we go again". I also knew OH would want to marry here, with his family present, yet he also wanted a church wedding which wouldn't be possible. So, before saying anything, I did some research. I didn't want a wedding package from a chain hotel like Sandals, and definitely wanted a church wedding. I found I could have a beach wedding on Zanzibar conducted by a C of E priest. I saved some pictures and showed them to OH to sell the idea to him, and after a bit of hesitation about marrying with no family present, he agreed. Best decision we ever made!

If you both try to do sales pitches for your respective ideas, with venues, costs etc all included, it may help you reach a decision. For this, your OH will also have to do some legwork rather than just state randomly that he wants a beach wedding abroad.

I agree! If he wants it so bad, let him organise the venue over there and get the headache trying to find the perfect venue then you organise a reception or even a blessing back here! (If your budget can stretch to it of course)

I also agree with everyone else! The only people you have to please are you and your OH! If your parents don't like the venue tough luck they won't give a flying monkeys on the wedding day they'll just be happy that you're happy!

Hope you get it sorted!! Good luck! ?

Thanks guys, some amazing ideas I think I shall try the writing down of reasons for wanting it in this country and ask him to do the same - it's worth a go anyway. I tried doing a presentation for him of Plas Cilybebyll (the place I really loved) it was a 14 page power point doc believe it or not (lol) but it didn't help!

If I asked him to organise it, he would go to perfectweddingsabroad (that's who he wants to use because they do everything apparently), close his eyes, point and then go "that one" which I really don't want!

Maybe if I just step back from it for a bit and concentrate on the dress for now and then start afresh in a couple of weeks or something.

xxxxx

It seems to me that the first thing that need to be done is for you and your H2B to agree on where to get married, It's ok for him to say that you both agreed to get married abroad but having looked into it you now know it's not for you so deal with this privately first and find a compromise then worry about your parents.

Welcome to Hitched ?

L x

Hi all, I just wanted to let you know that this morning OH kind of agreed to the wedding in this country! His exact words were " so you are dead set against having the wedding in another country are you? Well I'm not happy about it but where were you thinking?" can I get a hallelujah?!! Xxxx

WOOHOO Well done for persevering. Men just want their brides to be happy at the end of the day!

Pleased to see you've began to sort things out with your OH.

Maybe now he accepts how you feel about an abroad wedding , then you can both go back to the drawing board and come up with a completely new plan for your big day that you can both agree on.

Happy planning x

Finally he's come round to sensible thinking ;-) xx

Awww well done to u for changing his mind.. men are funny creatures sometimes, there is always a way lol

x