Hen Do - help / advise please!

I always thought that the cost of the bride was covered by being shared amongst everyone else coming on top of the 'per person' costs?

Hi

I get married sept 2012, and have requested my hen do be in july, before school hols, and other half will be having his stag do same weekend. All I have been told is to leave it upto them, and they are sorting everything, they just want a list of who to invite to which hen do, having 2, one with all my party animal mates, possible away abroad, and another one which will be local and for everyone who cant make the more expensive one. This will be nearer, in aug, and OH wants a joint evening out, which will be 2 weeks before the wedding, so the wedding party can meet.

Sarah

Yes they are working my accomodation & flights in with everyone else but I would still need spending money...at a guess £150 for a wkend...why are things so hard.....I really dont think im being unreasonable...4 months before my wedding is way too early...

Just tell them you can only do May, it's your hen weekend so they should go with what you are happy with

I gave my sister a choice of two dates and asked her to go with the one that most people could make. I know nothing more about it!

Mine is the last week in March for a beginning of May wedding.

Just found out today that Mr CB's stag do is two weeks before mine. He doesn't know yet, mwahahahaha!

Yep, I'll be having a local one, hopefully start of June for everyone who couldnt make the nite away....Am I bein unreasonable / bridzilla like??!!

Thats how it should be, left up to bridesmaid after initial consultation.....but I keep getting put in the middle of it...I know they must be finding it difficult to sort everyone out but like seriously try organising a wedding...I merely said April / May time & didnt even specify where & Its still difficult,,,,gessh....

They should fit in with you not the other way around, it is your Hen do.

I chose the date for my hen do in consultation with the bridesmaids. Originally we were going for April 30th for a May 21st wedding, but we've brought it forward to March 19th instead because one of the hens will be very pregnant (actually due April 29th! lol) so we want to keep the door open for her to come along. Everything else is being organised by bridesmaids though and I don't get a say in anything!

I chose the date and what we are doing we're going on a murder mystery weekend something Ive wanted to do for ages. But Im not asking for anyone to pay for me. To be honest I think that is really cheeky and have never been on a hen do where we have paid for the bride. We've paid for drinks but not hotel/flights/food etc.

Angelgirlie - I've only ever been on one hen party where the bride has paid! In my social group we tend to treat it more like a stag do in terms of funding. We split the cost of the hen's accommodation and other costs. The bride has always offered but accepting any money has always been refused flatly!

The only one I've been to where the bride has paid was where she organised everything and refused to let anyone help her.

I think it's a nice thing to do for a friend who's getting married and often it doesn't cost that much more once the costs have been split amongst the attendees.

That's fair enough if that is what you are all happy doing, just for myself I wouldnt feel right taking money from my friends when they are paying for the hen do for themselves and then to come to the wedding which will include them paying for a hotel as well. I think if I was doing something that was cheaper I would be ok with it, but the weekend we are doing is quite expensive and as its my choice to go there it wouldnt feel right for them to pay for me iykwim.

Ah the age old who pays for the hen question. In my opinion it is up to you and your friends to work out. I am not happy asking my mates to pay for me so I will be paying. However i think i am still paying less than the others although as everyone has been sworn to secrecy no one will tell me, so i will be secretly paying for something for them all to say thanks. As for when it should be it's your hen so you decide, yes it is disappointing if someone you want there cant make it, one of my BM's isnt coming as she has decided she would rather go on holiday (very long story!!) but remember you know how much time you want to recover/ how far in advance you want to celebrate your hen/ if you want time after it to lose any weight you put on (quite a serious consideration for me as we are going for an amazing meal) etc etc

Im just soo peeved at the hassle that is bein created over one nite away .... like its meant to be fun & a treat for me in midst the wedding maddness & all its doin is giving me a headache & the flights are goin up by the day....Im wanting it as cheap as possible so everyone can afford it, Im not lookin for anything flashy just a nite out in a different scene - if we were doin something flashy I wouldnt dream of my mates payin it for me....I just wish they would get their act together, work with the dates Ive suggested & leave me out of it from there on in....and as you say I want it early enough so any weight I out on I can get it off again before the big day,,cocktails are very fattening hehe