hen do's

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sorry for the shameless bump but was really hoping someone might be able to impart their wisdom before my already half swollen eye completely closes and I have no choice but to go to sleep haha!

TIA

x

Hi, I have been asked to spend from £20 up to about £100 for a hen do and I haven't found either unreasonable. For a whole weekend away I don't think £150 sounds bad including the 'doing' things. At least you appreciate that cost might be a factor for your SIL2B which is good. If you know that the majority of your friends can afford to go with you on the weekend you want then go for it, and if you want your SIL there too I don't see a problem seeing if you can arrange some assistance somewhere.

It wouldn't be fair to miss out on your hen for 1 person especially if there is a solution. I'm having a smallish hen do because although I could afford a weekend away an awful lot of my friends would struggle and it wouldn't be the same if they weren't there and I simply couldn't sub everyone!

Did that help at all?

I have about the same figure in my head for mine... some are only coming for one night due to childcare but trying to keep the individual elements as cheap as poss.

If you break the cost down it never sounds quite so bad -

Friday Night £30 accomodation (sharing a room B&B)

£20 set menu dinner on the Friday

Spending money for lunch Saturday

£25 burlesque class on the Saturday afternoon

£20 set menu dinner on the Saturday

Spending money for drinkies Saturday night

Saturday Night £30 accomodation (sharing a room B&B)

Spending money for optional spa on Sunday am

Honest answer? I wouldn't go to a hen weekend if I had to fork out £150 plus food and drink and maybe spa treatments too. It's just too much for me. And I think a lot of people would find it hard to justify the cost too.

But then I'm probably old school, hen night used to be a meal and/or a bar crawl, not a weekend away.

Thanks, yeah it does help and also breaking it down really I guess it isn't that much.

Just wanted to re-assure myself I wasn't asking an unreasonable amount and that is the sort of hen do I would really like!

Thank you ?

I appreciate your honesty Judeclarke, although activities would be included in that so it's just extr for food & drink but I understand that,

Im having one nite away but cause Im from Northern Ireland and were for England I opted for one nite to try & off set the cost of flights. Weve no activities booked yet but its already costing £120 a head - no meals, drinks, nothing. But thats me paid for as well, as its tradition among my mates. So for everything you are talking about £150 sounds really good for everything - look at what all they are getting to do aand all they have to do is hand over money!

Reading this thread I think I may be asking too much for mine then.. Mine is going to be about £180.00 p/p but that includes a weekend spa at a hotel, including a 2 course lunch with champagne, a massage and use of all the spa facilities and in the evening a 3 course dinner and the next morning before leaving a full english breakfast... is £180.00 too much to ask people to part with...? I was thinking, as I have loads of time to save, is to pay for Mum and my BM's but any friends that would like to come would need to pay an apportionment if not all...

We are going for 2 nights, but obviously that is optional depending on what they can afford. We had to factor train costs too (Bham to Brighton) and hotel. Not having activities as such as I doubt a group of hungover gals will want to spend the Sunday morning tazzing round a course on a quad bike and we arnt into pole dancing, etc!! lol

I think in all honesty £100 is quite fair, but depending on how close a friend i think i would be unlikley to spend anymore than that.

I've given my BM's £100 as a guide. Most of my friends are employed however they are all over the country so lots of travelling will be involved. I didnt want it to be much more than that as I didnt want to take the mick and wanted to ensure everyone could come. I think my BM's wanted to do 2 nights but with the cost they've decided to just do one night. But I'm happy with that - traditionally it is one night anyway but nowadays everyone wants a hen 'weekend' instead! I've also made sure its in a different pay month to my wedding so people are more likely to be able to afford to come.

I'm not bothered about where it is or what we do, I just want everyone to be there so I think the cheaper it is, the more likely it is people will be able to make it.

I don't think £150 is bad for the whole weekend but it is quite a lot of money to ask people to pay. Only you know your friends though and what will be ok for them. In the past I've organised hen nights and they've ranged from £20 to about £100.

I'm happy to just go away for one night and keep it a bit cheaper so that all my friends can come rather than do a long weekend abroad where only my sis would be able to come.

See what your SIL had to say but putting some money towards her part is a nice idea so you can still have the hen weekend that you want x

Hen dos are always a touchy subject when it comes to money! to the extent that i have told my sisters i don't want one full stop other than an afternoon of family (me mum sisters, h2bs mum and sisters) punting in cambridge with a bottle of fizzy and then a yummy dinner, but every single one of my friends would have to travel over 1.5 and most atleast 4 hours going to uni in edinburgh and bristol means i have friends scattered far and wide.

The one thing I would say it make sure you gather the money upfront so that you don't get stuck like my friend did when a few people didn't turn up and then had to ask everyone for extra to cover the difference!

I have just come back from a hen do in Leeds (not mine) and this is a breakdown of the costs:

Accomodation Fri & Sat night - £104 (this covered the cost for the hen)

Transport (hired mini van, some people came separately) - £35

Moulin Rouge Dance Class on Saturday - £30

Dinner on Sat night (food only) - £20

Brunch on Saturday - £10

Money for Fri night (given in advance as we stayed in appartments and one hen bought loads of food and booze) - £10

I also had £80 cash and I spent the majority of this although could have spent less if I drank less.

Total cost - £289

I want to go away for the weekend for mine but so many of my friends are complaining about lack of money that I am seriously doubting whether I can which will relly upset me as I have done it for everyone else!

I am having 3 different 'Hen' Events

1st one - MOH is organising, i am only inviting my bridesmaids and my 2 best friends cause i know that they will pay the money of however much its gonna cost, i didnt want to put pressure of other people who i know wouldnt be able to afford it and then if they couldnt go i didnt want them to feel bad or awkward. Think this will cost about £120 plus foood and drink.

2nd one - Meal with my Mum, Aunties etc, plus anybody else is welcome, this will cost £35 plus drinks as its a set meal etc.

3rd one - night out in my local town when my auntie and cousin arrive from Australia. Cause its close, people will just have to pay for a taxi (£5 between 5 people), and then anybody can come to that and spend as much or as little as they want

xxxxxx

I am having a weekend awya. But before we booked it all I emailed all the girls I was inviting to check that the cost would be okay. They can come for both nights Fri and sat for £175, or just the sat night for £130. Its a murder mystery weekend and the price covers food and entertainment and accomodation. So its drinks and travle which are extra.

I have also organised lift shares for mates who live near each other so that cuts the cost a bit. Also I am paying for my own so they do not need to pay extra for me. Tbh I felt it would be cheeky to ask them to pay that amount for the weekend and then more on top for me.

I think the best thing to do is ask people first tell them what your idea is and a rough cost and see if they are ok with this.

Ive found looking at hen packages its usually about £100 for 1 night and £160 2 nights.. totall depends on what your doing.. if your having meal and night out its not going to cost much but if you want to go mad like my other half is going to benidorm for his stag and its 180pp just hotel and flights..

I would say the average weekend hen do is around the 150 mark, that is how much mine is costing and I ve been to a couple this year which have all been around that sort of price for a 2 night stay with breakfast and an avtivity of some sort..

If you look on some of the Hen websites alot of them do "the bride to be goes free" which is good, I have a younger sister coming on mine who has no job so I offered to pay half as I expected to be paying for the whole lot so still a result really.

For mine we are going to Leeds for 2night with Full english each morning, Friday night we get 3 course meal, a few complimentary drinks and club entrance if we wanted. Saturday we are doing off road go karting in the day and then evening we have VIP entracnce to Tiger Tiger or chilli-whites cant remember which both good clubs thou.. All this for £155! I think that is a really good price, the hotel is right in the centre of the city so no cabs either!

I don't think it an unreasonable about of money for what your getting. I suppose it depends on ur friends and time of yr, but as u said most of ur friends can afford it and ur weddings in the summer I think its a resonable amount.

Im not having such a structured HN as its 3 weeks after xmas, so I know people will be skint, and as I and a lot of my friends are SAHMs some of them wud be hard pushed to find a spare £150, that and it wud be hard for some to leave their children for 2 nights, but tahts just me. 3 yrs ago before babies I wud have been away for the wend in a flash!

I'm not saying it's too expensive to pay £150 for a hen weekend, I'm saying I wouldn't pay that much. I guess it's fine for the younger girls (I feel SO old saying that!) when you've not got kids and no mortgage and your parents are contributing to the wedding fund.

But I wouldn't ask my friends to stump up that amount of cash, plus extras for a hen event. I'm having a meal out with practically all the gilrs I know, at a £40 a head plus drinks. I'll be paying for myself too, the only other things I want the girls to bring is their wit and good cheer!

Thanks everyone.

I spoke to my other BM and she is happy with that amount and discussed it with SIL and although they are slightly concerned about the cost of the two of them, they are happy to pay that amount, especially if I help a little, so that's good In fact, she was more concerned that there were too many events and she couldn't choose from them lol!

Just to mention, I'm 30 now and don't feel remotely young!! We currently pay for two mortgages and even though I don't have children at the moment, most of my hens are either older than me or do have kids so I am considering them.

I will be checking with the other hens if they are happy to pay that amount before anything is booked though, but it's nice to hear that other B2Bs are spending similar amounts.

Im another one of the Oldies. well Im not old (30LOL!!) but I have kids.. and I Think that makes a huge difference,, I personally would go away ONE night to a good freinds Hen but no way more, because I wont leave my kids,

And most of my friends have kids and as much as we moan we wouldnt leave the,

So IF I do have a Hen it will be one night if that! But probably expensive as we fron Surrey and local is not cheap