Hen Party - yay and grrrrr!

I had exactly the same thing tbh.

I have a lovely friend who I wouldn't exactly say was tight but just doesn't ever want to spend money to go out and will always take the cheaper option. I set my BMs a strict budget for my hen do, as I didn't want to exclude anyone, (I said £100 for all activities and food) but my friend has dropped out saying this is too much. I told her not to buy me a wedding present, and come instead but she didn't want to do that. I offered her to come just to the dinner and clubbing in the evening which would mean she could skip all the activities that cost money, and she didn't want to do that. I don't know whether either of these options would work for you and your mate, but they are worth a try.

I would hate to make someone fork out more than they could afford, or insist they spend silly money, but if we are talking about a small difference, then go with the majority. Maybe ask you sister for ballpark costs of the different options, then you can decide whether what she is asking is reasonable for your group of friends. Then you can not feel guilty for ignoring this girl if she is making a fuss over nothing!

Cheers enelya. I suspect she's just being a pain.

I'm having another hen party for family, preggers friends and/or those who want to come to something else. It's an afternoon tea and won't cost her more than £35. She knows she can come to that. To be honest, I'd rather she just did that, than let me sister have the hassle of chasing her for money and the invariable issues we'll no doubt have when it comes to splitting the bill for dinners etc.

When my friend turned down the option just to come to the dinner because "she'd have to cerry her overnight bad with her all day", then I let it go.

Get your sister to split the cost between the girls she knows are coming, then if your difficult frind does pay up, your sister can use that money towards dinner then everyone split the rest. If she doesn't pay up noone has lost out.

Aaaaw good on ya sister!!

My best mate is organising mine going to benidorm for 3 days!! But she has stipulated to my hens that if you want to go then she will need £50 deposit by the end of August and if you havent paid you aint going!!

I too have a couple of friends that are similar to your friend and whilst they have said they want to come if the deposit hasnt been paid then they wont be coming, but whilst its disappointing the others girls are making a bloody big effort to ensure their place.

I will also have a but of a get together for those who cant afford to go away for 3 days as i know this is a lot to ask given the present monetary climate (ooh hark at me sounding clever lol!!)

Is lovely that your sis is so excited you must trust her completley though letting her do it all without any knowledge of where your going. My mate has told me to keep my nose out now that she knows where i want to go but its really hard not to question her everytime i see her️?️

x

Ah how fab and exciting - your sis sounds like she's concocting something very lovely and special for you!

I think you are bang on the money (excuse the pun) to tell your sister to go with the majority and not with this one friend, more as you know she isn't that reliable and is bound to cause stress on your sister and bridesmaids having to chase her, etc. Hen Do's are opt in or out but if you're in, you're in - there is a lot to organise - and it sounds like she won't really be committed even with the cheaper option so I don't see why you should go out of your way to accommodate her when there is an afternoon tea option (love it!) that she can join.

Exciting, exciting!

Thanks, ladies, I feel a bit better about it now.

I'm really looking forward to the afternoon tea bit too. It means I can get my mum, MIL, Mr CB's faux aunties etc all in one place. I know his family are really chuffed I'm including them in something, particularly as he's an only child and they won't have a chance to do anything like this with a daughter.

*watches brownie points rack up*

x

Yep my MIL came to my 2nd hen do and was well chuffed as it was the first she's been invited to. I'm now golden DIL, mwah ha ha ha!

I reckon you should just sack this girl off CB, like you said, just tell your sis to discount her, if she comes fair enough, if not tough (on her). One of my friends isn't tight but she HATES it when other people get married (she got married first in all our friend,s ages ago) so she didn't bother coming to either of my hen's even though I made an effort to leave a breastfeeding baby at home to go away to hers AND I took her wedding photo's AND paid for all her printing. She just can not bear anyone else being a bride but I just thought I'd leave her to it - she is lovely normally though!

Yep, I think you're right, emmy. Have just emailed my sister words to that effect. She was the first of us old work colleagues to get married and I suspect will get more and more like your friend.

OMG, just seen your ticker! How exciting! ?