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Soybean
Beginner March 2011

Hey all ;)

Soybean, 13 April, 2010 at 19:17 Posted on Planning 0 13
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Hi all

Am new to the forum so thought I would say hello. My first post Smiley winking

We got engaged in December in Egypt and are planning to get married in March 2011. Would like a church wedding and have chosen a venue which we are meant to be paying the deposit for on Saturday.

Now here is the but! I spoke to the Reverend of the church we wanted to marry in who said that is fine, go ahead and confirm the venue without really asking much about us and he said he would send us a form to complete. Have received the form today, it asks if you have been married before then says that different procedures may apply and it may not be possible to marry in church if you are divorced Smiley sad I tried phoning him this evening and he wasn't there so started reading up on what the church policy is and it seems it is completely up to the individual Reverend. Bearing in mind we were both divorced so long ago and way before we even met I am hoping it will be ok >< Has anyone else had this issue at all? would be helpful to know what you went through or what happened in the end? thanks Smiley smile

13 replies

Latest activity by videogal, 14 April, 2010 at 21:30
  • cola
    Beginner September 2010
    cola ·
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    Hello and welcome to hitched! sorry i can't help with your question but thought i'd say HI!

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    Congratulations!

    I got enagaged in Egypt too, last August and we are also planning a church wedding for March 2011!!!

    Sorry can't help on the divorced advice but wanted to welcome you!!!

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  • Soybean
    Beginner March 2011
    Soybean ·
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    Thank you for the warm welcome ladies ?

    Have to say you were brave going to Egypt in August MrsC! we love it there, was our third time in December and can't wait to go again ?

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  • The Little Jewellery Box
    The Little Jewellery Box ·
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    Really sorry, I can't help with your question but I just wanted to say huge congratulations and welcome to the forum!!

    I'm sure someone will be along in a moment to help.

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  • videogal
    videogal ·
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    Many congratulations to you. I can't really answer the question as full as your minister but when speaking to my vicar on the subject of marriage etc he always said that if divorcees were the victims of adultery by the other or there was violence etc, then he had no problem marrying a couple in that position. He did not tolerate a marriage failure where the parties just got bored etc (they were his words - not mine lol) as marriages don't fail, people do. I think you should perhaps arrange a meeting with your minister with your H2B and discuss the concerns you have and see what he says - he may have questions and as long as you're both honest, he can form a view. He may need to get permission from the Bishop - this happened to a friend of mine and all was fine in the end. All ministers have different views and like you said the divorces you both had were way before the 2 of you met. Alternatively, if you are struggling with CofE, try the methodist church or a quaint chapel, they are not so strict so I believe and you still get to have the religous ceremony that still means the same and take the same vows.

    All the best. x

    Good luck

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  • Soybean
    Beginner March 2011
    Soybean ·
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    View quoted message

    thank you very much that has given me some hope it will be ok Smiley smile In my case there was physical abuse and in my partners case, his wife commited adultery. Just find it very upsetting if I will effectively be penalised due to some stupid choices I made when I was only 20. Well fingers crossed, what will be will be Smiley smile

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  • Soybean
    Beginner March 2011
    Soybean ·
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    Thank you all for the words of support, is hugely appreciated ?

    Well I spoke to the Reverand and after a lengthy discussion and lots of questioning on the phone he said he will marry us! I am so over the moon I cannot tell you!

    19th March 2011 here we come!

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  • bygeorge
    bygeorge ·
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    That's great! Congratulations and welcome to Hitched!

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  • Blackkat
    Beginner July 2008
    Blackkat ·
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    ? Hi & welcome to hitched. Your question really depends on the vicar himself (or herself!), but the majority of people who've mentioned it on here have been ok with a church wedding. My mum got married 2nd time round & the vicar was fine with it. Fingers crossed for you

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  • Mrs_T2B
    Beginner May 2011
    Mrs_T2B ·
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    Welcome and congratulations.

    Glad you got the answer you had hoped for ?

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  • lynziloo
    Beginner August 2010
    lynziloo ·
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    That's good news - bet you're relieved x

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  • budgetbabe
    Beginner July 2010
    budgetbabe ·
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    ? CONGRATULATIONS!

    glad you are all sorted and readt to get stuck into planning!

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  • videogal
    videogal ·
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    So happy for you glad you managed to get it all sorted ? ! Happy planning xxx

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