Hit a wall already!

Hey. Me and my partner were engaged for 3 years before the subject really came up, we new we would get married one day but a date/month/place etc was not discussed till 12 months ago when we felt able to afford it. Some people get engaged and stay that way for decades before taking the plunge. Maybe just enjoy the engagement for a little while before starting up with plans x

Ah you're not the only one! Mine was a bit "woah, slow down" for a couple of days but then was absolutely fine. I think it's a general fact that you will be more excited than he will be but just make sure you pick your time to talk about it i.e. not when he's just walked in the door from work and I'm sure it'll be fine!

and CONGRATULATIONS!!

Ahh thanks girls!! We already agreed on next year and low key, but even so, I still need to get a "feel" for prices to budget, he thinks it can be pulled off with a week's notice!

Men!!

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Straight away! We have been engaged 5 weeks and have the venue, registrar, photographer, flowers and chair covers booked. He's very laid back though!

Mine is exactly the same - we got engaged on my birthday in september just gone (on the empty shore of lake windermere as it was going dark and throwing it down with rain!) and we've set a date for next september.

Everytime I bring up ideas he either just agrees (which I know means he isn't listening properly) or tells me we've got ages to make plans.

We had a tiff in Dunelm Mill last week when I wanted to buy a photoframe for the sweet table... we had a chat and he realised that I'm VERY excited about planning and so now he's a bit more lenient when I come home having bought stuff!

I reckon he'll probably be like this until a month before as he's THAT laid back!

I think it depends on the guy, really. We were engaged right outside his parent's house, so were immediately bombarded by their questions of "so when will the big day be?" and "where are you thinking?"

And both of us were all, "give us a minute, we've only been engaged about half an hour!"

Later that night we mentioned our deadline- September 2013, which is the month before my current visa to remain in the UK expires, so allowing for time to change my residence status to wife of a british citizen would be necessary. I think by the 3rd day we'd narrowed down a date for somewhere between June and August 2013, but our main focus was on telling everyone we were engaged, and we had to make sure timing would work for immediate family before making a final decision. Mr. V wasn't keen on discussing any particulars about location except to ask whether I wanted to get married here or in Canada (because we were also immediately bombarded by my mother's question about whether it would be back home or not).

As for discussing budget, I think have a look around the internet for possible venues that you like, and then bring them up to your fiance as possibilities. It's easier to talk about things when there are examples. Otherwise his mind might be blowing the wedding up to crazy proportions, imagining you wanting an elephant to ride in on, and booking out Kensington Palace for the reception.

We'd booked our venue almost a month after being engaged and Mr. V kept saying things like, "Guess how much money I've spent in the past 2 months" as if he was a little in shock at how much was going on. I think all men are kind of like that, but I think you should feel free to start getting an idea of what you like. Then you should talk to him.

Hi there - first of all, congratulations!

My OH proposed on Christmas Day, but he was really honest with me and said that we needed to sort ourselves out and move house first (we've been talking about it for ages), and then we would get down to organisation.

We've had a few chats about it (the sort of thing we would like, the fact that we would like to do it next year, the nightmare of pleasing everyone etc) but apart from that, have done nothing. I've looked at a few dresses and tried a couple on but apart from that - zilch!!

However, we have been together for 19 years, so I have said that I would prefer we did it sooner rather than later (before I die, for instance, or all my teeth fall out and I look even more ancient in the photos!).

It is a bit of a pain when people keep asking "When's the date?" and, although I would love to pin OH down to a date, I don't want to annoy him to the point that he digs his heels in! However, I am saving away merrily and we've agreed that anything I save will be towards the wedding and not moving... if there's anything left in the house I haven't Ebayed by the time it comes around I will be very surprised!

My OH proposed at my 30th bday party, was about 9pm - by 10 I had asked bridesmaids and we had a agreed that it would be summer 2012! (that was July 2010). But he knw what I would be like. We have a lovely photo from the engagement, where we are hugging, but really he is saying to me 'just go steady, we are buying a house first, ok?'

The following night I gacve him a run down of my initial thought sfor the day ;o)

By Dec 2010, when we bought our massve renovation project of a house, we had date, venue, dress, caterer and florist!

TBh he has thought all the way trhough the process that I am too worried about time and getting things done, byut I'd rather things be done early rather than rush them, and its less than 4 months now!!

I'm sure he'll come around - at least you got to the point of a rough date, shows he's not in it for a long engagement ;o)

Mine was really excited about everything and wants to be in on all the details & is very excited about everything. i;m a bit suprised really as i was expecting some kind of wall...but no.

it'll come

Congrats x

Hi!! congrats!

i think you have to remember that woman (most of them) have been planning their wedding way before they got engaged and know all the little details that will bring the day together as a whole...men are clueless as to the amount of planning involved...i would try and get him to a wedding fair or a venue veiwing and this will give him more of an idea of costs and details involved in the day...

I tend to try and only bother H2B with important stuff and that way he doesn't get bored with the wedding plans!!

he will soon see that you need longer than a week to plan!!

Good Luck! x

Ha ha i love this post! it took mine nearly 2 months to recover!! lol Bless him he had been wanting to propose for months and as we were going away for my birthday he disided to wait till then, ive never seen someone so nervous! so when we got home i wanted to start planning the second we walked through the door, but he needed a break from all the planning and drama of the engagement! I spent those weeks looking at every wedding venue within 30 miles and phoning them to get prices, so when he was ready i had a whole project book with all the possible venues and we quickly narrowed it down to 3 venues and booked one a week later after viewing. End of the day i know this isn't the day hes been dreaming of most of his life, its more like a big scary party where he has to commit to one person for the rest of his life, oh and pay for it all too! So im doing all the ground work and searching for best prices etc and then we will choose togeather the one we want.

My oh proposed in Paris on a Friday night, we came back Sunday evening and we were both straightaway looking at venues and thinking about budget, how many people, this country or England etc. he was quite enthusiastic at first but that has definitely waned somewhat and he has said he's fed up of me talking about it oops. But to be fair we decided we wanted o get married quite quickly, he works long hours and so I had to get the ball rolling with booking all the suppliers. He is still interested and has ideas about things but I just don't jump on him as soon as he gets in from work and start banging on about flowers and other boring things!

We've been engaged a year and now properly started to discuss the wedding but OH is still a bit clueless and I think he will not be bothered until a month before haha. I have bought a book from Amazon called The Groom's Instruction Manual as a present for Valentine's Day as a (not-so) subtle hint!

My waiting period was about 6 months! After about 3 months we decided on church. Then waited another 3 months before braving the reception venue decision. Once that was booked, he was very laid back, theres plenty of time and all that. So I began research without him, finding out prices, collecting ideas in a folder from the net, so when he mentioned the wedding or something specific I could mention what I had found so far. Eventually it had eased him in, and now 2 years on, we discuss something wedding related most days!

Perhaps make a timeline of when things need to be decided, helps to show its not all now, just the big things

4 years.....but we had babies and extensions, and he was the one who came to me in the end!! Al my fella wanted to see is the venue, hes leavin the rest upto me hes just giving me money ha ha.......CONGRATULATIONS xx

Congratulations ? mine proposed and within about 10 minutes I'd asked when we were going to get married and pinned him down to a date haha!! I guess all blokes are different though - maybe you could get some suggestions together over the next couple of weeks and then tell him your ideas?

I knew that as soon as I got engaged to be married, I would, well, want to think about getting married!

H2B and I had talked about 'our' wedding a lot before we were engaged due to a flurry of our friends getting married and engaged. He knew that if he were to propose, he needed to want to get married within two years. Which meant when he did propose, he was up for looking round venues and setting a date. Admittedly once the venues were booked, he wasn't too bothered about the actual planning (apart from the food. Men and food!), but I know he is happy to let me get on with the research, then present my ideas to him. All of which so far have had a big thumbs up.

I know all men are different, but surely he knew what getting engaged meant? Ultimately a wedding?! So I do think he is being a bit precious by not talking about things.

We got engaged in May and started looking at venues in July. We had an idea of when we wanted to get married within a couple of weeks of getting engaged, but we both wanted to enjoy being engaged for a while before the planning started. I'm pleased we did as wedding planning seems to have taken over our lives a bit!!