Hitchers With Children - How Involved Are They?

Well theyre not mine, but OH's children are very involved. His son is Best man (he will be 11) and his daughter is my CBM...both have had involvement in what theyre wearing, Step Son will be doing a speech and stepdaughter wants to read a poem in the ceremony..both are very excited about the whole thing and a lot of the plans we're making have them in mind. x

We have a 2 year old and because I'm going for informal I haven't made him a page boy or anything. He'll prob want me to hold him as I walk down the aisle, there's no way he'll let Mummy & Daddy be up at the front without him!!!

My two are quite involved my daughter more than my son as she's 5 and he's only 2 so is

more interested in Cars & Toy Story than weddings lol I'm going to get them both to help me

make invitations for the other children attending the wedding so the invite will to their cousins

from my two children, daughter will also be choosing her own accessories for her Flower girl role

and both are sitting on the top table, daughter is also staying the night before the wedding at

the venue with the other BM's and we're going on a girly pampering afternoon/evening

Son will staying with OH & groom party, he'll be 3 at time of wedding hopefully he might be

able to have a bit more involvement in choosing games and activities with his sister for the

other children attending.

I think that's about it ?

Our two are very involved - mind you they are a bit older, my daughter will be 21 and OH's daughter 20 when we get married. They are still our children though and my daughter will be walking me down the ailse and giving me away and his daughter is his best woman, plus they are our witnesses. We think it is a lovely way to really bring both families together.?

My Son is going to be Pageboy/Little Best Man, he wants to have the rings on the day and pass to the Best Man, he's been with us when choosing the suits etc and picked the colour (we are having 2 colours Fushia Pink & Purple - no guessing he went for Purple!), he doesn't want to read out a speech (he will have just turned 10yrs when we wed) but will write something and Best Man will read it out, am hoping we can mix him into our vows and mention him at the service etc. Am liking the idea of your children signing the register - do you think my son would be allowed to do this also, being 10yrs?

My son is still in 2 minds about whether or not he wants to do a Son/Mum dance.

As for the welcome line, were just having me, OH and Son.

He will also be choosing the menu for all the kids x

I know every wedding is different and we should respect each other's plans, but I am completely baffled as to why you don't want your son to stay later than the ceremony - especially after the way you phrased it on a post yesterday.

We were told that as long as two adults signed it as well, then they could. Every registrar may be different though.

Thanks Mooey,

Will remember to ask about it when we see the vicar, we do have 2 adults ready for witnesses but think it's a lovely idea to get the kids to sign as well.

My kids are only 6, 4 and 2 so have limited interest in the details of the wedding. My eldest son (the 6 year old) picked out his suit though - they're wearing a Dr Who style pinstripe suit complete with Converse All Stars. And they've been helping us choose what sci fi memorabilia to decorate the tables with.

For the ceremony, my daughter (2) is the flower girl although her duties will mainly be standing running round looking adorable. The boys are mini-ushers and the eldest is very determined that he's going to be showing people where to sit.

Mine have been quite involved,the two girls are 15 and 13 and i have annoyed them and bored then showing them all the stuff i am wearing asked opinions on music/favors/if i look daft etc.

They are doing a reading together at the ceremony and will obviously be at the top table and in the forefront of the photos as they are both bridesmaids,it was quite difficult choosing dresses, the 15 year old is wearing the same as the adults and she had a few opinions when we were looking but is happy with the dress she is wearing.

My little one is three and he is being a pageboy other than that he is a bit young to know anything..oh he does say that mummy and daddy are getting married and is very excited about the cake!.

Our children will be very involved. H2B's eldest son (16) is one of the best men alongside H2B's oldest friend. H2B's second eldest son (11) will be carrying the brides ring and will be stood with the groomsmen. My son (6) will be carrying the grooms ring and will be accompanying one of the flower girls down the aisle. And our daughter (2) will be one of the flowergirls.

Our little boy will be just over 3 when we get hitched so he hasn't been much help on the planning front but will very much be a part of our day. He will be all dressed up like daddy and be walking down the aisle with or before the bridesmaids. I'm just as excited about his role in the day as I am mine lol! He's our little miracle and we want him to have as great a day as us (hence all the child friendly stuff we are doing too - like garden games, partybags etc)

I think this is wonderful! I'd love it if my daughter could be more involved but she will be just under 9 months so there is only so much involvement she could have- my mum chose her dress for her as she was indecisive ?! On the day she is my 'Flower Baby' and will be very much involved in the photographs. I'm sure my OH will mention her in his speech as will my Dad and the Best Man but she can't really ask that we don't do this! I also have my sisters 2 boys very involved and they are 3 and 5.

I've never been to a wedding where the B&G didn't involve their children in their day (if they already had them). They treated it more like the 'families special day' and I really liked that.

Our boys are 9 & nearly 2 both are going to be pageboys and our eldest is also going to be an usher as well :-)

My sons who will be 12 and 14 will give me away. Our daughters who will be 10 have designed their dresses and they are being made. They will be my only Bridesmaids. The other 3 boys we would like to be Ushers and do a reading but they are reluctant at the moment But I don't want them to be uncomfortable. We are going to see if the service can include them in some way and maybe bring them all to the front. They will all definately be mentioned in the speeches. This is definately about our new family.

Our boys will be 5 and 2 when we get married. They will both be pageboys. My eldest has actually been quite helpful, he helped me choose the colour scheme and the bridesmaid dresses. I want the boys to help choose the suits aswell. They will also be sitting on the top table with us. x

We're also having our children sitting closer to the table than the other guests ao they are part of the ceremony.

I know of a lady who is getting married this year. Her ten year old son died a few years ago andI have no idea how she is going to get through the day, or any day for that mattter. My heart breaks for her. ☹️

God Mooey thats awful, I don't know how I'd carry on let alone get married. Poor family - my heart goes out to them whoever they are xx

The same thing ran through my mind Mooey but I just mentioned it to my sister and she has been to 3 weddings where the B&G arranged for someone to stay and look after their children at home. I couldn't imagine not having my daughter and our nephews at our wedding but we have the novelty of nannies hired to look after them for the day and night. I'm also a big kid at heart and so wanted to have guests bring children (there will be 10 in total so not too many) and it meant I had a good excuse to have sweets and chocolates available all day... ?

My son was reluctant to get involved at first because he had his heart set on the job of Best Mna - but my OH chose his sister. So it took a little persuading, but he's going to be my maid man of honour instead. Since we made that decision he's been great - he chose colours with my Bridesmaid, he helped choose our menu, and he'll be coming dress shopping with me in June. He's not too keen on going out with my BM to try on dresses though - he says he'll skip that one. But he wants to come on my hen night - just a meal out, and possibly attend the spa day just to take photos.

I'm proud of the way he's stepped up - from apathetic because he didn't get the job he wanted to full-on excited about the whole thing.

What a great title for him- Man of Honour! I love it ?

Best woman & Man of honour ... brilliant!

Our little boy has just turned 2 and whilst he's currently being termed as a page-boy, I'm not actually sure what a page-boy does!! Do they walk down the aisle with BMs? I think OH wants to have him at home the night before with him & his Best Man and get him ready the next day and for him to stand with him at the top of the aisle.

My mum will be fully on hand that day to keep a watch on him and will probably take him home in the evening when he starts to flag a bit. I can't imagine not having him there. Can't wait for him to be caught on camera with the other kids & his little cousin. And for him to join in the dancing.

Are 2 boys are 6 and 1 almost 2 and my 6yr old will be oh best man and my baby will be page boy they will walk down with each outher folwed by my 2 flower girls (not having BMs/BM) i have asked rueben if he wants to ready a poam but he is realy shy so i dont think he will and i hope that L will sit with my mum and dad. Rueben has been involved all the way

Interesting and an eye opener to say the least!

I have no kids but H2B has 3. His daughter (19) is my BM. The eldest boy (15) is an usher and the youngest boy (9) is ring bearer. None of them live very close so they've not had much involvement in the organisation. The youngest is more excited about riding in a limo than he is about the actual wedding.

Why are people so judgemental on this site?? Surely a wedding is what the couple want it to be. Everyone is entitled to have the day they want and other people should really respect that. Personally we have only two young children coming to our wedding - like Canterburybride I cannot bear the thought of loads children running about the place - but that is my personal choice. I would not judge those that have invited every child they know to their wedding - that, too, is their choice.

I thought this site was about support and help (and a bit of fun!) but a lot of the time it doesn't really seem like that at all sadly.

I think that the reason that a lot of us are kinda shocked by your view/plans is that most of the Hitchers who want a child free day aren't "children people" IYKWIM and therefore aren't mothers!

I can see where you're coming from, and totally go with the "your day your way" thing, but I if I was in the same position (eg had a child) then I would imagine that either my Mum or OH's parents would insist on keeping an eye on them for the day. I just think I'd feel guilty for not having them around when I see how much my nieces love to be involved in family events, etc (my littlest niece will be 2 in July)

We went to a wedding a few years ago for OH's friend and their son was about 18 months. He was the only little child there and was centre of attention with his parents. He was so good, and it was so sweet seeing him on the top table, playing with the lucky black cat that someone had given his mum, and generally being fussed!

This site may be about support and help, but this thread isn't - read the OP again.

So you see me as judgemental for not understanding why someone is doing something - I would much rather be like that than someone who agrees with something or says they like it when they don't.

WSS Even Canterburybride agrees with us! We're not saying she's wrong, neither is she saying that we're wrong!

I think what it is for me is that I have been to probably 8 weddings in my lifetime.. so not a huge amount.. 7 of those weddings had a fair few children in. Children who were welcomed, were allowed to run around and have a dance on the dancefloor, but children who also behaved themselves at the meal. 2 years ago was the first non-child wedding we went to. Our 2 month old baby was the only child there.. I had obviously only given birth 8 weeks prior and refused to leave my baby with someone for the whole day and evening (it was a wedding which was about 100 miles away) so the groom (OH's best friend) agreed to allow us to bring the baby but we had to provide food for her (ermm..) yeah so anyway.. that particular wedding was boring and people were leaving after the first dance presumably to get back to their children. We left at about 8pm because we couldn't afford to book a hotel room so we had to drive the 100 miles home again. I know not all childless weddings are boring, but this one was in my opinion because I have been a Mum for 6 years and everything about my life is children and having fun and laughing. There was nothing fun about this wedding, which may have had something to do with the fact that me and OH felt like odd socks in Anthea Turner's house as we didn't know anyone and the B&G were too busy to talk to us so for all the travelling we did we got spoken to for about 2 minutes after the ceremony during the welcome drinks and that was it.

I have thought about having a childless wedding but it's just not me. I love children. Even if I had none of my own, I would still have children at my wedding because every wedding I've been to has had children.. so it just feels right.

Our wedding will have my three grown up children there taking a part - walking me down the aisle, singing and readings. H2B's daughter (13) will be helping me to get ready (I'm not having BMs) and in charge of the guest book as well as a few other "duties".

However, H2Bs son (15 and severely disabled) will not be attending any part of the wedding. It would make for a very difficult day for all of us, H2B, me, H2B's family and his daughter if M was there. A lot of people have thought us a bit weird for making this decision, but it was a deal breaker for me and the one thing my MIL2B and I agreed on.

Life's not always exactly as we would choose for ourselves...!

How does your H2B's son feel about this, or is he so severely disabled that he doesn't really understand what's happening anyway?

(this isn't meant to be asked in a critical way, I'm just curious, honestly.)

x