Hmm, can it work..opinions!

Once a cheat, always a cheat...

i did subtly say to her how many times has he left his wife for 'the other women'.....

What's to say that he will ever 'leave' him wife in the full sense of the word?

Older man in a having his head turned by a younger model shocker...

Will he be moving into her home?

I wouldn't be able to trust someone who had an affair to be with me, who says he won't do it again?

WMS - A leopard never changes it's spots.......

yip,. he sure is!!

I personally agree with "once a cheat, always a cheat". However, Mr B's uncle left his wife for his fancy piece when he had two young children. He married her and had two more children and they have been happily married for 30 years.

Well, isn't that convenient for him! He leaves the wife and doesn't have to pay rent etc somewhere.

"When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy"

Maybe, Flow, but not without a lot of fall out and upset for many more people than your friend and the chap. It's not going to be pretty.

I am going to go against the grain and say it CAN work (but that's not to say it often doesn't).

My Dad was seeing my Stepmom while still with/married to my Mom and my stepmom married to her husband (he's never confirmed this, but i'm not stupid, they moved intogether 6 weeks after he left Mom and she left her husband).

In 2 weeks it'll be 10 years since the split. My Dad and stepmom and happier than ever, and I am 100% certain neither would ever cheat on each other now. They are so in love and "together". Well, that and the fact that they work together, live together and probably spend 10hours max per month apart - there is no time for anyone else or to cheat and they are like soppy kids ?. I've seen a completely different side to my Dad - he is loving to his wife, romantic, considerate and even does the housewwork (something he and my Mom battled over for years!).

So - my answer again is, it CAN, but I guess there has to be trust, and both sides need to really understand why they cheated, so it can be dealt with and forgotten. I don't really believe in this "the one" stuff but my stepmom is an excellent match and partner for my Dad wheras my Mom and he were just "good together".

Mmmm i am tempted to say no i wont, but my grandad who is now 70 left my nan about 30 years ago for an 18 year old, and theyre happily married with 2 kids, so you never know!

I really dont have any sympathy for women like this tho, if it were all to go boobs up! They know what theyre getting themselves into...

True, but Flow has said that this man has had affairs before...

I guess the mutilple affairs would make me concerned, but Flow also says his wife has been unfaithful - so it could just be how they work their relationship, and it could be that she "lets" him or encourages him as she does it too? I know my Mothers friend loved her husband dearly as her friend, and while they weren't together as couple anymor, they lived in the same house like lovers and yet dated other people. I've been there when her husband's sent her out on a date!?!

Again, as a newly married I'm probably seeing this through rose tinted glasses, but as I said above I do believe the "love of a good woman" can change a man, that's assuming the woman wants to change him and the man himself wants to be changed.

i think this is the case from what i gather...

I had a friend in this very situation and I can confim: If he's done it once, he'll do it again....

Just because one person you know did, doesn't mean we should label the rest of a whole population of people with the same brush.

Flow - they'll just have to suck it and see. Whilst it sounds like he's been a lothario in the past, maybe he has actually changed? Agree the majority of people who cheat will never break the habit, however I know of people who have cheated once (for whatever reason) and never done it again.

Duplicate

It kind of sounds as if your friend thinks it's totally for real, fallen in love ect. but who knows whether he has? Doesn't much sound like it.

My ex husband cheated on me, but to start with I was his bit on the side! I was 19 yr old impressionable girl, he was 28 with all the tricks up his sleeve to make me feel a million dollars, he left his then girlfriend to be with me...roll on 6 years and 8 month into our marriage and he tells me he doesn't love me. Later transpired that he was seeing a woman he works with, while he was with me (my brother worked with him as well and he had an inclining of what was happening just didn't want to upset me). He moved in with this woman about 2 weeks after we split up and as far as I know they are still together, married and have a son. I wouldn't put it past him to cheat on her as I think that is just his character.

On the other hand I have a similar story to LM where my Mum and Dad split up months after he bumped into his childhood sweetheart (Mum & Dad had been married 22 yrs at the point). My now Stepmum has slipped on a few occasions about when her and Dad got together so he was blatantly cheating on my Mum but they are so in love it's sickening! They were just meant to be.

I think it just depends on the individual.

I agree that people can change and that people deserve a second chance, blah blah blah. What makes me cross is when people cheat with so little regard for the lives of people around them that they shatter, disrupt or make difficult.

Being a naive 19 year old whose head is turned is one thing (sorry, nabbing you an as example there, nicnol!), being an adult who is married with children is another. It's like the ripples from throwing a stone into a pond, it doesn't just stop with the couple and their partners but affects their children, siblings, parents, friends, colleagues, clients, the list goes on.

Well said CB

No Worries CB! I am first to admit my actions weren't entirely honourable at the time even if naivety was an excuse. Now knowing what it is like to be in love and in a relationship that I cherish there is never an innocent party. The single party in this is just as much to blame. Anyone with any feelings & respect for others would know that it is a cruel and horrible thing to encourage and certainly wouldn't like it happen to them (much like myself).

Friends of mines parents broke up a couple of years ago (they would have been married 30 years this year) He cheated on her (we suspect more than once, but he got found out this time) He moved out the marital home and in with this woman who he'd known for like 2 months. I hear they're married now after only being together for a short period of time. Only time will tell if he stays faithful to this one. she's in her 30's and he's in his 50's

I was waiting for that old cliche!

It simply isn't true. I cheated once, in a past relationship. I mistakingly got back with an ex, I cheated and we broke up. It's something I regret and feel terrible about and we should never have got back together. It's something I will never do again, ever. You can't make sweeping generalisations.

I think my worry would be that he doesn't actually make the move and is spinning the lines that married men apparently say, oh we are just friends now, we sleep in separate beds, we don't have sex anymore etc etc. I would also worry that he would have another affair if he has strayed previously. However what I would be concerned I think the most about is him feeling the novelty of it all and then after a few months when life has settled down, he runs back to his wife.