Hmmmmmm,Elf...............tempting.

Funny you mention that - I was working at a media event this week (the Dream Toys 'top 12 toys for Christmas') and there were two VERY large men dressed as elves doing a bit of a skit around all the stands. If I was a kid I'd have been terrified - I thought elves were supposed to be small and cute?

Which reminds me, I'm actually still terrified of people dressed up in character or animal costumes. They know this and prey on me. I nearly burst into tears at the event as a giant-size Peppa Pig wouldn't leave me alone ?

? I'd love that job!! It'd be Christmas every day. (yes, I'm a very sad individual)

I was just thinking the same. I'm having an 'i hate corporate life' couple of weeks, and this sounds like the ideal contrasting occupation. Hmmmm, only problem is the proximity to children..........

I'd love to be an Elf <sigh>

a couple of friends of mine do a tap dancing turkeys thing around christmas, I'm guessing they'd not be your thing then ?

Funnily enough, I'd probably be ok with them (although slightly bemused ? ) as I can see their faces - it's when I can't see the person inside it freaks me out. I know, I have a problem. Working in the toy trade really wasn't the smartest move for me, was it?

If they are the only tap dancinbg turkeys in the uk then I've seen them at the christmas parade at a town near me, Flailing wildly you would be scared of them.?

I'd love to be an elf too - do you think they allow 7 month pregnant elves though ?

Can you not see their faces, then? <quivers in fear>

Only just and their faces/eyes look weird when they do the routine, they freak me out and I'm ok with humans dressed as animals.

As far as I'm aware they're the only ones, so it probably was them

I sooooo read that as 'lap dancing turkeys' and couldn't quite work out how that would work...

It wasn't just you ?

FINALLY I have found someone who would understand me!! I have the exact same fear of people dressed up as characters. It stems from being chased around a shop in Disney World by Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers. Every now and then we'll be in the mall or whatever and I'll suddenly grab Jerseyboy's hand and say, 'Oh God..." because I've seen one of Them. He thinks it's hysterical and he always says, "They're not interested in you!" but he's wrong. I think they get a kick out of scaring people.

I'd be tempted to ignore the ad, go into business yours-elf, and be elf employed.Yes you'll have to do your own elf assessment and training, but I think the job is fairly elf explanatory.

Don't forget about the obligatory elf and safety course too.

You must must MUST read or listen to The Santaland Diaries by David Sedaris - his memoir of his Xmas as a Macy's Christmas elf (his Elf Name was Crumpet IIRC)

Listen here http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=5066175&m=5066408

From Santaland Diaries:

Interpreters for the deaf came and taught us to sign, "MERRY CHRISTMAS! I AM SANTA'S HELPER." They told us to speak as we sign and to use bold, clear voices and bright facial expressions. They taught us to to say, "YOU ARE A VERY PRETTY BOY/GIRL! I LOVE YOU! DO YOU WANT A SURPRISE?"
My sister Amy lives above a deaf girl and has learned quite a bit of sign language. She taught some to me and so now I am able to say, "SANTA HAS A TUMOR IN HIS HEAD THE SIZE OF AN OLIVE. MAYBE IT WILL GO AWAY TOMORROW BUT I DON'T THINK SO."

or...

The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up a calendar and said, "Ladies, you know what this is. Use it. I have scraped enough blood out from the crotches of elf knickers to last me the rest of my life. And don't tell me, 'I don't wear underpants, I'm a dancer.' You're not a dancer. If you were a real dancer you wouldn't be here. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf."